Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "Fowl Smells In The Pie" Parody of, "Fowl Play In The Sky" SCENE I: Steve, Kimberly's unshaven, five o'clock shadowed, scratching, sweaty bike guy uncle is polishing his private twin-engine plane and looking at himself in the plane's reflection. Uncle Steve is near his plane at the airport where he's taking Kimberly for a trip in the air. Kimberly is at a phone booth talking to Trini on the phone. Kimberly: Hey, Trini. Guess what?!? I'm gonna have soooo much fun today. . .! No! I'm not rubbing it in. . . Well, I already know your life is dull and. . . Of course you couldn't get any, but that's not what I mean and. . . Well, fine! You can just drop dead! Yeah, and I'm keeping the CD Player too. . .! Yeah, well, I can make a rude noise over the phone too. . .! Yeah, listen ta this. . . Kimberly puts the receiver under her armpit and gets ready to make a rude noise over the phone when Uncle Steve approaches her. Uncle Steve: Havin' a nice, friendly chat with your pal, aye? Kimberly: Oh yeah, she's cool. (Back into phone): Well you can just listen to this, you scum-sucking, obnoxious bitch, I'm gonna. . . (other line hangs up) Hello?? Hello!!??!? How dare you hang up on me like that? Answer me!! Uncle Steve: Listen, I'm gonna catch a quick bite then we can go a flyin'. Count to ten and cool off. Kimberly: Oh sure, Stevey. SCENE II: We take a shot in the Junk Food Bar workout room of Jason punching something (which looks like a punching bag) really, really hard and as the camera pulls-out, it is revealed to be Billy. Billy (getting punched): Uh, uh!! Ugh! Ugh! Jason: I'm done. Get out. Billy runs away clutching his battered stomach. Jason: Hey, you! Zack: What? Jason: Why aren't you working out with me? Zack: Isn't she so fly? Jason: 'Scuse me, but I don't date. Zack: Sandwicha wears a thongy. Jason: Yeah, whateva. Listen, let's catch a quick coke, alright? So what's kickin'? Zack: Sandwicha has a porsche. Jason: 'sup, man? Zack: I'm gonna bag that chic. Jason: Sh'yeah right. You couldn't bag a chicken. Zack: Watch...and learn. Jason: What do *I* have to learn? Zack: Plenty. You've never had a date on this show. Jason: I don't need women. Zack: You won't be saying that when you're 21 and all alone. Watch the Zackman in action. ...5 minutes later... Zack: Aww, c'mon, baby-baby-baby-baby-baby-baby PLEEEE-EEZE!! Sandwicha: I'm going to say this for the last time, get lost, you fungus-faced creep. Zack: Just too much man for ya? You think I'm not good enough for ya!! She'll be back. Jason: Hehehehe, right. SCENE III: Rita's Palace... Rita: Well, Kimberly's going flying, aye?!? Goldar: This is the perfect terrorism opportunity of a lifetime! We'll plant a bomb in the plane's cargo bay and blow them up into itty bitty cheese balls! Rita: Would you quit thinkin' small? I'm going to have Squatt personally spit in Uncle Stevey's drink. Squatt's spit is so venomous that he'll throw up in convulsions and pass out for 14 days! Hahahahaha!! Then, when we have Kimberly splat into the face of the earth like a pancake, we can harass the other rangers with my Sneezers monster!! Hahaha, this is ingenious! Squatt: This just might be the first and last suspenseful episode these lame-brain writers will ever make! AB Writers: Aye oh. Cool it with the wisecracks. Squatt: Okay! SCENE IV: Squatt teleports down to the airport and finds Uncle Steve's soda. Squatt: Ooo! His sody pop. Now for my duty. Squatt opens the lid and spits in it twice. Squatt: I should be greatly rewarded for this! Squatt teleports back to Rita's palace. Kimberly is humming while walking with her Uncle Steve to the plane. Bulk and Skull are spying on them with binoculares. Skull: Hey, check it out! It's Kimberly! And she's not wearin' biker pants! Can I make her trip over so I can look under her dress!? Bulk: Now now! Remember the agreement? We cannot see anything remotely sexy from a sexy cast member. Otherwise, we're fired. But it looks like they're goin' flying! HEY!! (Sleazy Whistling) BABY!! KIMBERLY, HOT STUFF! Kimberly quickly turns her head around and sees Bulk and Skull and turns it around again as if she's trying to ignore them as she starts walking very fast. Skull: Hey! Stop! Slow down, hot stuff! Kimberly: All right!! I've stopped. What do you goobers want? Bulk: Whatcha doin', foxy lady? Kimberly: You better stop calling me those sleazy names. I'm trying to be a little more proper in this episode, so you better have a good excuse for slowing me down like this. Uncle Steve: Hey, ya know, you're not a very nice person. Kimberly: Have you seen the things that come out their mouths? They're disgusting. Bulk: You are obligated to tell me what you are doing! Kimberly: I am not obligated to tell you anything. But if you must know, I'm going flying in my Uncle's airplane. So long, beat it. Good riddens. Bulk: Stop! Kimberly: Now what?! Bulk: Can we go flying with you? Kimberly (eyeing Bulk): Fat chance! Forget about it. No! Skull: Aww, come on! Kimberly: Listen, you idiots, it's a really small plane, and I think Bulk is just way too... (short pause).. uhmm, no. Uncle Steve: Aww, come on. Come on, you nice fellas. You can come. Kimberly: What!? Uncle Steve: Hey, they seem nice. Kimberly: Hel-loah? Wake up, Steve. These two are wastes to mankind. Uncle Steve: They seem pretty cool ta me. Kimberly: Why don't you just adopt them!?!? Ughh!! All right! Listen, you can come under these conditions: just sit down and keep your mouth shut! Skull: I can do that! Kimberly: You have to promise because I don't have a door lock with me right now. Bulk: That is just plain insulting. Let's go a flyin', uncle! Skull: Yeah, unky! Steve: You creeps just call me Steve. Better yet, make that, Mr. Hart. Bulk: That's so impersonal. Steve: Yeah, I know. Now let's get a move on. It'll be raining in about 2 hours. Bulk: Woah, we hitched ourselves a ride tonight! Skull: We are genius'! The foursome adjourn to the plane where Bulk tries to crawl in, but his huge bottom is obstructing him and Skull has to push him in. Kimberly: Oh gross! Bulk: We're in! And there's nothin' you can do about it, Kim! Kimberly: I already regrettably allowed you morons to come. So be quiet. The plane starts and everyone is all seated up. Uncle Steve (talking into Walkie Talkie): Pilot to Tower... this is 3024 echo, requesting permission to take off. Some Guy Over the Walkie Talkie: 3024 echo permitted to take off on runway 102. Kimberly: Do you have to say those things? Uncle Steve: Uhh, yeah? Kimberly (grabbing the mic): Hi, I just got a new haircut... Uncle Steve: Gimme that! Kimberly: Aww. The private twin-jet plane begins to gain velocity as it gradually ascendes into the air. Bulk and Skull begin making a bunch of annoying scaredy-cat noises. Kimberly: QUIET!! Skull: Bulk, are you scared of flying? Bulk: Nah. Skull: You're lying, right? Bulk: Big time! Uncle Steve begins guzzling down most of the soda while he's flying. Kimberly: Wow! Angel Grave looks so beautiful up here. Steve: Gee, that cemetery is sure huge. Kimberly: It's so totally awesome. Steve: You know, it's strange; since I've moved out here and flown over your city, I've noticed that you have exactly one hundred streets in exact block squares, eight freeways leading in all directions, a mall, a youth center, an independent water reservoir, a dam, a beach, a public pool hall, an auditorium, baseball stadium, monorail, subway, a trolly, one major city bus, a rain forest, two farms, ten police stations, fire houses, five hospitals, a desert as well as a 500-acre park. That is impossible for one city to have that much stuff. You've lived here, why do they do that? Kimberly: Well, it prevents us from ever considering moving. We can do everything--including travel--right here. Steve: Sounds stupid ta me. But the taxes are good so I don't care. Besides, you can't be kained for cross-dressing here. Bulk (in the background; unseen): Shut up, Skull! I can't see! Kimberly: SCENE V: Rita's Palace. Goldar: Well now, if you morons didn't screw up again, I take it he'll be out within 2 minutes? Squatt: Yes! I'm sure, I double-spit in his drink! Rita: That's good! Now to get on to step two of my plan! Goldar: You shall send down Sneezers. Tens of thousands of years ago, he owned his own kid's playhouse called Cheez-E-Sneezers. But when it got raided due to violent and in fact hazardous accidents at the building, he decided to turn from his despicable cutesy job to becoming a bad guy. Now, like Pink Dink Ranger, he can shoot arrows that turn into snakes which will enable you to destroy the Pathetic Rangers, my queen! Hahahaha!! Rita: Shut up! What gives you the right to tell me what my plan is? Goldar: Because I do this everyday. Rita: Well quit it! SCENE VI: Steve: Hmm! Some'n funky about this drink. Hey, you two. You didn't spit in this or anything? Bulk: No way! Steve: You sure? Skull: I might have. I do things in my sleep. Bulk: Shut up. Steve: This tastes like urine. Kimberly: Oh come on, it can't be THAT bad. Let me try it... AB Writers: NO! YOU CAN'T! Kimberly: Oh right. The plot and all. Okee dokee. Steve: Ever been up by the mountains before, Kimmy? Kimberly: Well, yes. But not on a plane. Such special memories... Kimberly recalls in her mind as we flashback to a picture of a mountain and Billy and Kimberly naked (genitals unseen). Billy & Kimberly: Ooo, baby! Yes!! Oh!! Kimberly (out of flashback): Wait a minute--wrong flashback. Ah, here it is... Steve: Aww no! Not a clip!! NO!!! ========== (From "Day of the Toilet") Zack: Talk about a bad experience. Kimberly: Yeah, I know. They could've at least sent us back into town. Jason: I say we do it! Trini bops Jason over the head. Jason: Hey, it's true. Trini: You're only saying that because you're an ego-maniac begging for attention. Jason: Is that such a crime? Zack: Guys, you don't know what you're talking about. We were talking to a giant, floating head. Billy: Who knows what kind of disease that thing could give us. Jason: Why would he be lying? Zack: Because he's in a fish bowl. Kimberly: Who wants to listen to a fool who's dead and's old body part is swarming in a bowl, while the so-called bad girl is still alive? Jason: Shut up, guys. We do it or else you get beat up! Flashback to Kim in the plane. Kimberly: Maybe that isn't such a good memory after all. The plane starts wobbling around as Uncle Steve gradually loses his balance and starts getting drowsy. Kimberly: Uncle Steve!??! What's the matter with you?!? Steve: Man, am I sleepy! Kimberly: You can't do this! We're up 2000 miles in the air! This can't be happening! TALK TO ME!! Steve falls asleep. Bulk: What'd he say? Skull: Nothin', he's just getting sleepy. Bulk: Yeah. Short Pause. Bulk & Skull: Aaaaaaaah!! Kimberly: Shut up, you goons! Wake up! You have to wake up! Oh my god! He fainted! We're gonna die!! It's all over!! Agh! Bulk & Skull: Help!! Please help us!! AB Writers: This is what you deserve. Maybe it'll teach you not to hitch rides you weren't invited to. Bulk: Mommy! They all scream as the plane starts gradually falling. SCENE VII: Rita: Alright! It's working! The plane is going to crash and burn! Baboo: This is the most diabolical thing you've done yet. Aren't you worried you'll go to prison for attempted murder? Squatt: This is a felony. Rita: Do you think I care!? Now move it! Once I have Kimberly hurtling towards her grave, it'll all be worth it! Besides, I hate how she looks so much better than me! Goldar: Ah yes! The story of Snow White lives on! Rita: Finster! Make me that monster! Pronto!! Finster: Oh what's your hurry?! Oh well. Finster creates the Sneezer monster--a green lizard like creature with a huge, red mouth. Sneezer: I'm going to kick you Pathetic Geeks' zit-asses! Hahahaha! Rita: Attack!! SCENE VIII: Kimberly: Oh my god! What am I gonna do!?!? The wheel begins moving unsteered. Bulk & Skull: Aaaaaaaaaah!! Kimberly (snapping): THAT'S IT!! WOULD YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP?!? I'M ON A REALLY SHORT FUSE WITH YOU IDIOTS, SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND SHUT YOUR KING MOUTHS, I'M TRYIN' TA THINK! Bulk: Remember what we learned in school? Skull: How to make ToeJam into a beverage? Bulk: No! "Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned." Skull: What does that mean? Bulk and Skull look around to see Kimberly's eyes bugging out with her hair all messed up. Bulk: We're gonna die!! We're gonna die! Kimberly: That's IT! I've HAD it with you, you ugly, fat, disgusting pus-buckets. If I don't come home with you, the police will believe whatever I tell them. You're on very thin ice with me, Bulk and Skull. So you better just keep your mouths shut or I'm going to throw you out of this plane in mid-flight! 'Cause if I die, I'm draggin' you along with me. Got that!? Understand?! Now faint! Bulk: But we don't know how to faint. Kimberly: Oh I'll make ya faint all right. Kimberly climbs out her seat with a baseball bat and swings it upward and readies to smack them on the heads with it when we cut the scene off and we cut to Kimberly in her seat again with a cracked baseball bat. Kimberly (starting to sound hysterical): Oh my god! Kimberly grabs the steering wheel and aimlessly steers. Kimberly: Don't look down! Don't look down! Kimberly looks down. Kimberly: Oh my god! We're gonna crash!! Zordon, Alpha! Anybody, please!! Help me! I'm gonna die!! Loud Announcer (in a "Bullwinkle" narrater voice): Just as the situation got miserable, it got worse as Kimberly turned to her uncaring allies--Zordon and Alpha. ---------- In the command center... Alpha: Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna die. Whatever. I'll file your complaint. (Short Pause) WAIT A MINUTE!! Did you say you're gonna DIE?? ---------- Kimberly: Yes! Urgent! S.O.S.! Mayday! I need help!! ---------- Alpha: Oh my god! What a waste that would be. ---------- Kimberly: Would you stop making cracks about my perfect body and help me!!? ---------- Alpha: Uh, yes, Kim. Stay calm! Aye yi yi! Zordon: Alpha, the plane is speeding like a rocket missile. If you don't save her, she will be Bisquick pancakes within the next ten minutes. She is quickly dropping from 5000 feet from the air. Locate her position. Alpha: Aye yi yi! And just think, Billy still has yet to give me his handbook on peeping Kim in the bathroom! ---------- Kimberly: I think I'm flying. Yes, I'm flying. Or I think I am.. and, oh! I don't know what I'm doing! I'm gonna die!! ---------- Alpha: Why don't you just morph out of there? ---------- Kimberly: Does it look like I know how to fly a plane!?! Of COURSE I'm not the only one in here! ---------- Alpha: Oh hell. In the end, would it at all matter if Uncle Steve and Bulk and Skull plunge the big one? Zordon: Alpha! Alpha: What? ---------- Kimberly: This is terrible! I bet it's that witch Rita. ---------- The alarm goes off. Alpha: Oh no! Rita's monster. What a horrible time for her to get crazy! Zordon: Duh.. This is OBVIOUSLY no co-incidence, you stupid toaster oven. She had Squatt spike Steve's drink with spit and is sending out her new monster. Signal the likely-to-still-be-alive-by-the-end-of-this- episode Pathetic Rangers. Alpha: Well, that's not very re-assuring. The Pathetic Rangers are on their way. (Into Kimberly's communicator) Hey you! Kimberly, listen up! ---------- Kimberly: What is it? ---------- Alpha: I will instruct you how to land the plane. Push the steering control as fast as you can into the dashboard and then turn it by 90 degrees until it turns all the way upside down. (Short Pause) Wait a minute, that happened to Launchpad on "DuckTales." ---------- Kimberly: Would you give me the RIGHT instructions? I nearly slammed into a telephone poll! Loud Announcer: And he did. ---------- Alpha: Listen to me. Hold the plane as steady as you can, then slowly pull the control back towards you. Kimberly: I don't know what that means, but it's working! SCENE IX: Jason, Zack, Trini and Billy already teleport into the command center. Zack: Hey, Bill. Your babe is jetting into the bowels of the earth. Heh-heh. Jason: That's not funny, Zack. Zack: Shouldn't Billy say that? Jason: Yeah, but by popular demand, he's denied saying anything in this episode. Billy: Trini: Is she going to be okay? Zordon: Yes. As I said in the first episode, Kimberly is a very smart and capable girl. Jason: You just said she was graceful and easy. Zordon: Well, because that's not enough to bail her out of this, I'll just say today she's smart. Which she isn't. Alpha: Well, listen, Kimberly; you got the gist of how to fly, so, I think you can just be on your own. Gotta go, bye! ---------- Kimberly: But wait, Alpha! I... OH no! ALPHA! GET BACK HERE!! ---------- Zordon: Alpha, are you stupid, or did I goof when constructing you? Billy (clearing throat): ...ah... Jason: I'd go for the second choice. Alpha: You mean I've gotta tell her more? Zordon: YES, YOU FOOL!! Alpha: I always get the boring jobs. Zack: It's called, saving a life. Look into it. Zordon: Her fuel supply is running dangerously low. You must hurry. Alpha: Get off my back, wouldja!? The rangers look at the viewing globe. Trini: Oh my god! She's headed straight for the bushes and mountains! Zack: Dang! Check it out! Jason and Billy: Oooo! Zack said a dirty word. Zack: Listen, you polymorphic idiots, we work for Artist Bros. Not Saban. We can say as many dirty things as we king well please! Hey! Who bleeped that?! Jason: We still belong to the FCC, and we can't say anything dirty unless it's allowed on TV. For home video-only appearances, we can make an exception. Alpha: Ah hem! There is someone pummeling to their deaths! Let's not get petty! Jason: Okee dokee. Besides, she's not my girlfriend. Maybe she is. Trini: You wish. Zack: Billy heard that. Billy: .... Jason: STOP SAYING MY LINES! Billy: Agh!! Kimberly's plane is seen losing speed and flying sideways towards the city. Kimberly (over communicator): Hello!?!? Like I need more help! Alpha: Yeah, well; you just sit tight, sweety. You still gotta pummel about a few more 3000 feet to add dramatic affect. Get back with you in about three minutes. Kimberly: WHAT?! AGH! Alpha turns her off. Zordon: Well, that Sneezer monster is impatiently waiting for a bloodbath. So just go out there and get 'um. Jason: While you just sit there nice and comfy? Zordon: Hey, what I do in your absence is none of your beeswhacks. Trini: That's another dirty word. Zordon (astonished): Get out! Jason: Okay. Zordon: D'OH! Jason: It's morphin' time! Zack: Majormess Billy: Tribladdertops Trini: Sabertoothed Alley-Cat Jason: Trashosaurus They all roll out to the park scene where they prepare to fight Sneezer. They all yank out their bladeblasters and gang up on Sneezer like a bunch of ninjas. Sneezer lightly touches each ranger with his finger and they all roll out about ten feet onto the ground as if he roughly slammed his hand on their chests. Jason: I think we're kinda hamming this up a bit. BLADEBLASTERS UP! They all fire at Sneezer and all get blown up again and roll onto the floor. Trini: I can't believe it! This worm has reflected all our power back at us! Sneezer: That's right, Yellow Ranger! All you whimps are no match for me! Who's next?! Sneezer runs after the rangers who are slowly running backwards and grabs each ranger, shakes them up while grabbing them by the shirt and then whisks his hand onto their suits and discards them onto the floor. With "NYPD Blue" type camerawork, he begins picking them all off one by one. Zack: This is really beginning to hurt! Sneezer pushes Jason and he lands on his curved back onto a concrete statue. Jason: You know, kids; this is a lot more painful that it seems. SCENE X: Alpha: That's right, Kimberly; just do what I say and everything will be okay. Oooh, that rhymes! Kimberly (in the plane): Alpha, stop goofing off! Alpha: Right! Jason (over the communicator): Alpha, help us! We can't hold out! Alpha: Hey, listen you whimps; I'm not a biology P.H.D., but three of you four idiots have a rod dangling in your underpants. Therefore, you should be able to take care of yourselves. Now leave me alone! Jason: No, but Alpha, wait! We really... Alpha turns off the communicator lines. Zordon: I think they really needed help. Alpha: Ahh, they're just whinin'. Aye yi yi yi yi! Kimberly (in the plane): Would you STOP making that annoying shreak?! You're scaring me! Alpha: Sorry! I was referring to your sissy friends! Is everything okay? Kimberly: Yes! I can see Angel Grave! Alpha: Are you sure you're not just seeing YOUR grave? Kimberly: Oh no! Wait a minute!!! ALPHA!! Cut that out!! Alpha: Heh-heh. Stay tuned. Same Pink Time, Same Pink Channel. SCENE XI: Sneezer picks a wounded Billy from off of the ground and starts choking him. Billy: Ugh!! Ugh!! Sneezer throws him to the ground then jumps in the air and plunges onto Billy's belly. Zack: Hey you! Why don't you pick on someone your own size!?! Sneezer: Like you!? Jason: Wait to go, Zack! I would've been quite content if he ripped Billy to shreds. Zack: Yeah, but Zordon wouldn't. Sneezer: Let's have some fun! Sneezer throws a bunch of snakes onto all four rangers and they start struggling with the snakes wrapped around their bodies--all four constantly holding the snakes' necks while struggling. Sneezer: Now time to take out the garbage! Jason: No wait! Don't do that! Don't do that! Sneezer is seen in front of the camera jumping towards the camera--signifying he's pouncing Jason. Trini: This isn't fair! You already have us de-mobilized! Sneezer: That's the point, stupid! Hahaha! Can't take the heat? Well I don't care! Hahahaha! AB Director: 'Scuse me, Rangers; but are you just holding onto those snakes? All Rangers: Hmm? Cut to: The rangers being laughed at by the directors unseen by the camera as they start rubbing their achy bodies while walking away from the park. Sneezer: Hey! Wait a minute! Get back here! I'm not done with you! Sneezer spits out a long cord that ties all the rangers' boots together and he drags them down the ground and throws some more snakes on them. Zack: This is just getting downright humiliating. SCENE XII: Bulk and Skull wake up in the plane and their mouths fill with vomit and they open the windows and throw up out the window. Elsewhere, Ernie is sitting on a recliner chair in a bathing suit catching some sun at the beach. Ernie: Alright, sun! Lay it on me! Suddenly, the camera begins going with Bulk and Skull's vomit which begins hurtling towards Ernie's face. Ernie: Aaaaaaagh!! Bulk (in the plane): Kimberly's flying. Skull: Yeah. Bulk and Skull: Aaaah!! Kimberly: That's it! Kimberly grabs Bulk by the shirt and kicks the plane door open with her foot and stuffs Bulk's upper body out the plane. Kimberly: Now, if you don't want me to toss you outta here without a parachute, you will do what I say, right? Bulk: Man, what are you? On your period? Kimberly rams more of Bulk's body outside the plane very roughly. Bulk: Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll do what you say! Kimberly: Good, NOW GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT AND SHUT UP! Skull: Hey, don't have to be so rude! Guess we're too manly for you? Hows about a kiss, baby? Kimberly: Yeah, I would, but your boyfriend looks like the jealous type. Skull: Hey now... Kimberly sticks "Don't Open 'Til Christmas" stickers onto Bulk and Skull's mouths. Kimberly: Much better. Okay, Alpha. I'm ready to land! Alpha: Great! The plane lands to fast into the runway breaking off the landing gear, causing the bottom of the plane to go skidding down the runway with sparks flying because of the friction when, as it's motioning along with unwavering speed, it crashes into a house. Kimberly: Yet another three-point landing for Kimberly. Uncle Steve begins to regain consciousness. Steve: Auh..uh...oh, uh... Whaa-ha-ha happen? Kimberly jumps out of the plane's door and briefly look at the delirious Bulk and Skull with disgust. Kimberly: Ew. Um, I gotta go. Steve: My plane! My beautiful plane! WHAT HAPPENED?? Kimberly: It landed itself. Steve: Hey wait, where're ya going? Kimberly: My, uh, dog has a er, a dentist's appointment. Steve: But you don't have a dog! Kimberly takes off running as several emergency vehicles surround the downed plane. She runs towards an abandoned yard and tosses her backpack aimlessly which lands on a vagabond. Bum: Ow! Kimberly: Sorry... Kimberly picks it up and runs to another spot when she radio's for Alpha. Kimberly: Okay, Alpha; I'm ready to go. Alpha: Well then whaddya doin' standing around talking to me for? Depart with all haste! GO, GO! Kimberly: Well I've had a really rough day and, oh; forget it. I gotta morph, now! Loud Announcer: And that's just what she did. Wait a minute, why didn't you say "It's Morphing time?" Kimberly: It allowed you to cut in. Now beat it before we get sued for using someone from a completely different children's series. Loud Announcer: Okee dokee. Carry on with your little adventure. I doubt you'll get any ratings without me. Kimberly: IT'S MORPHIN' TIME! Kimberly: Pterodorky SCENE XIII: Loud Announcer: As we re-join our heroes tied in the plastic snakes bound by Sneezer, he threatens them with the destruction of their useless lives as they know it. Jason: We're not useless! Sneezer: I'm going to nail you to the wall, you crayon-colored goofs! Trini: You're never going to get away with this. Jason: This is it! If only we had a bow and arrow, we'd be free! Loud Announcer: Just as Sneezer readies his bow and arrow for the killing, suddenly at that very moment, Kimberly (secretly known as The Pink Wonder) somersaults into the air and blasts the arrow into two sticks with her power bow. Kimberly: Leave my friends alone, you shrimp. Sneezer: So you think I'm a shrimp, aye? Well, you're a hussy! Kimberly: You've had it! Kimberly somersaults into the air in slow motion and kicks out Sneezer. Sneezer: Muddies, attack the Rangers! Loud Announcer: And the battle begins, with Pink Ranger in the lead. With a seemingly endless stream of Muddies attacking one after the another, she picks them off like the flies they are with her omnipotent power-bow! Is this the end for Pink Wonder? Or the Muddies? Stay tuned for our next episode entitled, "Pink Slip," or "Kimberly Gets The Point" Kimberly: This isn't a two-parter. Wrong show. Loud Announcer: Oh, in that case--carry on. Dead muddies roll to the feet of Sneezer. Sneezer: Oh no! Kimberly takes her Bladeblaster and dismembers the snakes from the Rangers. Jason: Thanks, Kim. I thought Billy would never breathe again. Kimberly (sensuously): Oh don't worry, Bill; you'll be breathing hard tonight. Zack: Break it up, you two, that thing is comin' at us and I don't think he's giving us presents. Trini: His source of power is the Apple on top his head! Jason: How convenient. Kimberly: Pasta la pizza, sneeze-man. Kimberly aims her bow for the monster and lets go as the Monster's head pops wide open allowing the air inside deflate the monster into a limp rubber costume. Jason: How humiliating--being saved by a gurl! Trini: Yeah, you got a problem with that? Jason: Um...no. We pull out to see a Bladeblaster stuck in Jason's back. Trini: I didn't think so. Zack: I have a problem... you're no girl in this Japanese Footage. Trini: Would you STOP bringing that up!?! SCENE XIV: Kimberly is seen at the Youth-Center junk-food bar with a acne-suffering teenager. Zit-Guy: ...no, I mean it; not anyone could have landed a plane. Kimberly: Aww, thanks! Zack and Jason stick their fingers in their mouths indicating their disgust for his praise. Jason (mockingly): Oh, tell us again how you landed that 747 Jumbo-Jet... Zack (girlish voice): Oh, I just couldn't...it makes me feel all warm and squishy inside. They both laugh when Zack turns around and knocks a platter full of milkshakes Sandwicha was holding into the air. Bulk and Skull conveniently walk into the room and get splattered by the gook. Bulk: BUT WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! Skull: Yeah! Ernie: Listen up, deadbeats. I payed off some witch to cast a hex on this place. If you don't pay for the food and drink, you get hit with the food and drink. Skull: Don't-cha think that's a little eccentric? Ernie: Would you prefer I get my secret service buddies out here to rough you up? Hey, Switchblade, Magnum. Meet my brainless thugs. They have a pretty extensive resum‚, everything from working for Exxon with busting people's heads in with lead pipes to being loan sharks themselves and just kicking the snot out of idiots like you who don't pay up. A pair of gargantuan, husky, hefty, huge men with army haircuts in tacky suits approach Bulk and Skull with obvious frowns. These two men are Magnum and Switchblade, Switchblade brings out a switchblade and Magnum affixes brass knuckles onto his fist. Magnum: I eat Bulk like YOU for lunch! Switchblade: YEAH. Bulk and Skull run for their lives. THE END (C) 1995 Artist Bros. Enterprises NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS... A new student of Angel Grave High (...on dope) is fingered by Rita to be her new slave warrior!... Rita: I'm going to use this Green Vomit Coin I ripped off from my ex-husband, Zordon and pick some loser to be my slave and crush the Pathetic Rangers. ...And while Alpha 5 is recharging his batteries reading a pornographic magazine and Zordon is taking a nap; Green Vomit Ranger brings the Rangers to their knees! Zordon: Hey, how'd you get in here? Only a person with a Pathetic Coin can get in undetected. Tommy: Yes, and I have that coin. My empress RITA gave it to me. Zordon: What? Tommy: I said, hey! You can't trick me, I told Rita I was gonna keep it a secret. Anyway, I'm gonna fix it so you never speak again by yanking out the computer cords so you don't have contact with this dimension. Have the Rangers finally met their match? Has Kimberly gone astray to an unknown? Will Billy plot to kill the Artist Bros. Writers for making such an idiotic plot? Find out on the NEXT Episode of the Pathetic Rangers!