Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Kinky Alien Stooges "Along Came a Yellow Jacket" Parody of, "Along Came a Spider" SCENE I: Billy is at his garage with Monotonous and Cestraterrestrial analyzing an undescribable mechanism (which seems similar to a bug zapper) that has a giant V-shaped beam rising with red electric sparks going through it. Billy: no No NO NO! Cestraterrestrial: What is wrong, Billy? Billy: This stupid thing is a piece of crap. Monotonous: What is crap? Billy: It's the stuff that comes out your ears on your planet. Monotonous and Cestraterrestrial cringe. Monotonous: Why is it a piece of feces? It does not appear to have the density of... Billy: It's an expression. Anyway, the reason why is because I can't align the Zero sub crystals into a cohesent matrix. So even if my friends don't die out there in the middle of god knows where and get the crystals, it won't mean jack because I can't combine all the Zero crystals' energies into one. Cestraterrestrial: So this phase modulator is obviously not suffecient. Billy: It's junk. Monotonous: Perhaps you can get a better one. Billy: I can't do that. None of the good stores sell them anymore. And I got this from a local Radio Shack. Kay-Bee Toy Store had one of these things, but I think they sold out. Cestraterrestrial: Eh? Billy: I might be able to find one at some type of university or place like Nasa, etc... but that would be a lot of strain and we don't have that kind of time to be doing that. However, Angel Grave Science University might have something like this. I dunno. But it's worth a shot. Monotonous: Let you make haste then. Billy: Look, I'll only be gone an hour. Monotonous: Where are you going? Billy: To the store to pick up Teen Magazines for Alpha and humor those people I call parents that I never really care to see. Monotonous: Ah. Billy: And while I'm gone... try not to get into trouble. And I don't want to see milky substances all over my garage either when I get back. Monotonous: Who? Us? Billy: You know what I'm talking about. Now I'm outta here. SCENE II: At Lord Bread's... Lord Bread: Look at that. That stupid, halfwit blue bore is trying to finish a transformer. Rita: So what? His efforts will be in vain because it needs all six Zero subcrystals! And those stupid rangers will NEVER be able to find it! And if they try to, they'll be dead before they can get into the thick of their journey! Lord Bread: Haha! You're right, I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to worry about! Now let's dance to our song... Suddenly, the theme to "The Addams Family" begins as they both start dancing. SCENE III: Young Adam is seen walking through the mean streets of Bankok with a tape recorder in his hand. Young Adam (into recorder): Bankok. Destination: No Where. My name: Adam. Young Adam to be exact. I'm on a journey for my piece of the Zero sub-crystal. Suddenly, a woman with a perpetual frown on her face walks toward Adam. Young Adam: Uh, hi... Woman: Hello! Young Adam: You speak english? Woman: Yeah. This is an english speaking show. Besides, we're not really in Bankok. This is just a cheap set that we ripped off from a bad Steven Segal movie. Young Adam: Can I ask you something? Woman: Sure. Young Adam: Am I gonna die? Woman: If you're not careful. Young Adam: Oh. Am I gonna be tortured? Woman: How should I know?? I don't even know your name. Are you lost? Young Adam: Uhh, no. Woman: Do you think I'm gonna kill you? Young Adam: Ummmm... Woman: Don't worry. Just don't make any eye contact with anyone who looks suspicious. Young Adam: I see. Anyway, I'm not really lost. See, I came through a big toilet whirpool and ended up here, where my roots are. I just had no idea it'd be this destitute. I'm looking for a crystal. Woman: The Zero Subcrystal? Young Adam: How did you know that? Woman: The closed captioning. Young Adam: Huh? Woman: It's on the bottom of the screen. Young Adam: And what person who ISN'T deaf and doesn't have a caption box is gonna know what you're talking about? Woman: It's a joke. Jokes are funny. And jokes make a parody good. Young Adam: Whatever. Where do I go next? Woman: Just keep walking down the streets till you see a golden manhole. Young Adam: Manhole? Something tells me I'm gonna end up dirty and stinky. Young Adam walks off down the streets when a strange man turns the corner, hunchbacked, keeping his stance using a cane with a twitching eye, sucking on his gums. Young Adam doesn't see this and just walks off. SCENE IV: Meantime, at Billy's lab, Carcuss leans over out of character pissed off and angry while Cestraterrestrial plays with Billy's undescribably mechanism. Monotonous: I can't wait for Billy to pick up magazines, visit his folks for dinner and then take a Greyhound Bus cross country to MIT and then return! I need my sex...now. Monotonous starts pacing the floor. Cestraterrestrial: Try to put it out of your mind. Monotonous: How can I! I have been hard for nine hours! Cestraterrestrial: And you're only complaining now? Monotonous: Carcuss and Urethra all went back to Peenewawacatchetorinnakashookia with Delicream for group sex and I'm stuck here in this dry atmosphere without any cheese or sex. Monotonous stops pacing and faces Cestraterrestrial. Montonous: Can't I at least run down the street naked? Cestraterrestrial: No. Billy specifically asked that if we are to remain welcome on this world, we are to at least resist being abnormal by their conservative standards. Monotonous: I honestly don't know how you can stand it. I just don't! Cestraterrestrial: Perhaps you're right. Monotonous: I cannot last much longer! I have to do it with something. Cestraterrestrial: Don't look at me! I may be Kinky but I am straight still. Monotonous: I wasn't even thinking about it. Cestraterrestrial: Well. Just this once. We'll take a brisk walk down to the 10-4 market in the buff. Monotonous: Thank you. SCENE V: Rita is spying through her omnipresent telescope. Rita: Well well well! It looks like your Kinky pals are gettin' horny. Doormat: No matter how many times I read this script, it never fails to make me sick. Rita: Quiet you! Rita watched the Aliens undress and then turn out the lights. Rita: (Oh thank god.) Anyway, those perverted little creeps are going to take a walk in the nude! This would be a perfect time to really freak those guys out, huh, Bread? Lord Bread: They'll have a little surprise waiting for them while they go get their stupid cheeze! Squatt: What's it gonna be this time, Lord Bread? Baboo: Yeah! A Monster? A gigantic sock puppet? Or how about a... Lord Bread: Tangos!! And while they're roughly inspecting the alien's orafices... Lord Bread focuses on a Yellow Jacket that flew out of Ernie's produce bin as he prepared another gross drink. Lord Bread: We'll have Wasper Man create a stingy situation. Rita (singing): Ahhhhhhhhhhhh... Lord Bread: Dear lord! Let us not kill our viewing audience with your hideous voice. And now! Let's get funk-eh!! Lord Bread shoves his staff into the air as a nest under ground starts getting rattled with electricity. Lord Bread: THERE! That oughta do it! And while that demon seed is killing every living thing on earth. Goldar and Cheeto are going to stick that bomb up Zordon's head tube. That'll really blow his mind! ---------- Underneath the Command Center, Goldar and Cheeto are walking down corodors that seem to be getting darker and darker. Goldar: Okay, Cheeto. I've got the facts right here. We don't have a clue as to where we're going. Cheeto: I knew you were stupid. Goldar: I'm not finished, rockhead. We should draw a map. Too bad we don't have any blood around here. I can't see cracker jack! Where the hell are we? It's so dark! Cheeto runs into something and giant crash noise is hurt. Goldar: Oh what did you do? Goldar gets out a flashlight and sees Cheeto wearing a bunch of crashed-into video tapes. Goldar: What's this? "Cheek of the Week?" "Sonic the Screwhog?" "Who Did Roger Rabbit?" "Boobs and the Beast?" "The Woman Who Did 400 inside Two Days?" Cheeto: Aye, I saw that one! Cool! Goldar: I don't want to know. What is this junk? Cheeto is hit in the head with another tape. Cheeto: Ow! Where'd that come from?? Goldar: I don't know. But I hope you didn't suffer any brain damage from getting that hit in the head. Cheeto: My head isn't that soft. Goldar: Hmmmm... "The Woman and the Seamen." What is going on? Cheeto: This looks like some kind of chute. Who keeps dumping these videos? ... In the Command Center... Alpha: This movie sucks. Too much dialogue. Alpha throws "The Erotic Office Romance" down the chute. ... Cheeto: OW!!! Goldar: Nevermind... Let's keep looking. Goldar produces two cans of spray-paint. Cheeto: Where'd you get that? Goldar: It's magic. Now, over here. Goldar and Cheeto proceed to the wall. Goldar: Now. We know we're here... Goldar sprays a giant stripe if spray-paint on the wall. Moments later, several swears words, non-legible because of overlapping grafitti, is left on the wall of the Command Center. Cheeto: Wow. We just vandelized the Command Center--and we still don't know where the heck we're going. Goldar: I should never have given you the spray paint. And that S word isn't even spelled right. What is a Shid? Cheeto: Psst. This is a children's show. Goldar: You define stupidity. Cheeto: Aye haven't you criticized my stupidity long enough? Goldar: No. SCENE VI: Young Adam is walking down the streets. Young Adam: It's so cold and smelly around here... Why couldn't I have been put in the more scenic part of Asia?? A hand rests on Adam's shoulder. Young Adam: Aaah!!!! Who are you and what do you want??? Strange Old Man (twitching eye/slurred speech): You have lot nerve... You're the stranger. Who you? Young Adam: I'm not telling you anything you creepy old goat. Now leave me alone. Strange Old Man: Fine... Adam. Young Adam: How'd you know my name? And don't tell me you read it in the credits, the script or the dang closed captioning. Strange Old Man: I know you from the spirit of the Hog. Young Adam: Oh really now. I got rid of that "Hog" stigma a long time ago. Strange Old Man: Gmmmmmmm... Young Adam: Is there something wrong with you? Strange Old Man: Other than my hideous appearance? Young Adam: Yeah. Strange Old Man: Nothing. Young Adam: You smell. Strange Old Man: What's a dangerous little kid like you doing in this town? Young Adam: Dangerous? What kind of thug do you think I am? If anything, the scuzbags are probably nesting in here. Strange Old Man: Well, I guess you can be trusted. Suddenly a gunshot is heard. Young Adam: Aaah! What was that? Strange Old Man: I cannot tell you. Young Adam: Well, I didn't need to know that bad anyway. So there. Nyeah. Strange Old Man: Hoggy hoggy hog! Moi! Help you may need! Huggah! Wooja Wooja... Young Adam: I don't have time for this frivolous time-wasting. I'm on an important quest and I have to get it over with within the 20 minutes of this show or else they're cancelling my contract and I get eaten by a bear. AB Writer: There are no bears in Bankok. Young Adam: It's written where a bear crawls out a trashcan and tears me up. AB Writer: That's stupid. Young Adam: Tell me about it. Strange Old Man: I come with you! Young Adam: Are you kidding me?? You reek of B.O., you can barely stand on your legs and you have a back problem. Strange Old Man: You need protection. Young Adam: I gotta go... Strange Old Man: If you need me! Just request my name. TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!! Young Adam: Aah! I'm outta here! Young Adam runs off. SCENE VII: At the drug store, Billy has a bucket of cheeze and an arm full of magazines. He walks up to the counter as the balding moustached main in an apron walks up to the register. Billy: Let's see... 6lbs tub of Wisconson Cheese and uh these magazines here.. Clerk: Hang on... The clerk runs each magazine over the bar code reader with each cover featuring a bone-thin 15 year old girl in a string bikini. Clerk: Teen Beat. Teen Spirt. Seven Teens. Teen Rap. Teens. Teen Rock. Teen's Teen Rock. Teen Style. Six Teens. Teen Talk. Teen Help. Teens. Teen Lines. Teen Gossip. Teen Parents. Teen. That'll be $29.85 for those. Plus the $5.85 for the cheese. That'll be $35.70. Billy frowns while digging in his pocket for his wallet. Clerk: Hey, what do you need all that cheese for? You feedin' an army? Billy: Sorta. The magazines are for my little sister. Clerk (sarcastically): Right. Billy: No, really! Clerk (condesendingly): Sure. Billy: I am not a freak! What?!? Do you need the shot? Billy suddenly jams his hand in his pocket. Clerk: DAH!!! Nevermind, nevermind, nevermind, NEVERMIND!! Huh, here... Billy: This is too much change... Clerk: Take your cheese and magazines and get out of here and don't come back. Billy: I'll be sure not to! Billy leaves the market in a tantrum. ---------- Billy arrives at the park in his car running into a garbage can. Billy: Aw shoot! Billy puts his 4x4 in reverse backing into another car 'causing its alarm to go off. Billy: Forget it! Billy gets out of his car as he walks into the park. Black Scientist Lady: Hi, Billy. I'm glad you called. Billy: Yeah, it's nice to have scientists friends on the Internet when nobody in real life will pay attention to you. BSL: Uh, sure. I find it strange, though, how someone of your age would be interested in a U-232 Platinum Electron Particle Acceloration Klystron Model. Billy: Uh, my friend wants to know where photons come from. He's into Star Trek you know. Unfortunatley, the CO2 Laser Reflecton Phase Modulation Device wasn't expensive enough to adequately perform the light show they wanted to see. BSL: Oh. Well. [Courteous laugh.] It is so refreshing to see such a fine, nice -- young? -- man like yourself interested in advanced quantum hydro nuclear physical resonation mechanics. Billy: Uh, pardon me? BSL: That is what you need a U-232 Platium Particle Accellorator for, isn't it? Billy: Uh. Okay! Billy smiled. BSL: Billy, do you even know why you came here? Billy: Uh...yes... BSL: Okay...? Billy: Well, can I have it? BSL: Well... GASA lent us an ancient model of the thing developed by Albert Einstine in the late 1940s. I don't know if it works anymore, but I'm sure we can blow enough dust off of it to work properly. Billy: Oh brother. BSL: Let's fire the thing up and see if it's still working, okay? Billy: [Sigh.] Okay. BSL: But first! Billy: Oh no... AB Writer: Billy, I don't know where this comes from or how this applies. BSL: I'm testing out my new rocket model! Billy: Aheh--WHY? BSL: Because that's what I was doing before you called me up. Billy: All right. SCENE VIII: Naked from the back up, the Kinky Alien Stooges walk to the store that Billy left a little while ago. Meanwhile, everyone in traffic honk their horns as many people start screaming and yelling. Cestraterrestrial: I wonder what all the people are honking for today! (Lady in Background): Oh hideous. So horrible! Monotonous: I don't know. (Man in background): Somebody call the cops! They've got green genitalia! (Another man in BG): Hey, hey! Put on some drawers, man! Cestraterrestrial: Such strange reactions humans have to natural nudity. Monotonous: Where is the massave supply of cheese? Cestraterrestrial: Inside that Structure. It appears to be what the Earthlings call a Quicky Mart. Monotonous: Let us join the line of patrons waiting to pay for their goods. Monotonous and Cestraterrestrial enter the store and walk towards the cold isle where cheese, meat and other stuff is. Male Shopper: Pardon me? Cestraterrestrial: What? Male Shopper: Who do you think you are? How'd you like it if I came in here with my pants off? Monotonous: Where's the cheese? Male Shopper: It's over there... but really... and those strange things on your heads... I'm getting out of here... Male Shopper walks off with his basket full of goods. Cestraterrestrial: Look at all the many choices of cheese! Cestraterrestrial and Montonous savagely tear off the packaging of several cheese wheels and cheese slices, etc... when a woman walks by. Woman: Aah! You filthy gluttons. Do you have no shame?? Cestraterrestrial: Want cheese? Woman: Clerk! Clerk! These two nasty men are making a mess! A bunch of nearly completely eaten hunks of cheese are found scattered all over the floor as the two Aliens keep eating. Suddenly a twentysomething manager walks up to them. Manager: Excuse me, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave and put some clothes on. Technically what you are doing is against the law. Cestraterrestrial: Law? What are laws? Manager: Hey are you some kinda wacko or something? Woah! How much cheese did you guys eat? We're completely out and I just restocked them too! That's it, march your naked butts up to that clerk, pay for all that cheese you ate and then get out. Moments later, Cestraterrestrial and Monotonous are at the check-out stand. Cestraterrestrial: We ate all the cheese you have. We greatly appreciate your kindness and self-giving. Clerk: Well I... [turns around and sees them] DAAAAAAAH! All right, this is the last time I'm gonna have freaks in my place! Get out! Out! OUT! ---------- Rita is looking through her SpyCam Telescope seeing the Clerk on his last nerve yelling at the naked Aliens, who are covered up by the check-out stand in front of them. Rita: Hahaha! Did they really think they'd get all that cheese for free? What idiots! Hmm, but that Monotonous sure has some nice buns... Lord Bread: What!?!? Rita: Ah, ahem... I said, that Monotonous has feet that must weigh tons! Lord Bread: That was such a lame cover-up. Rita: What the heck do they think they're doing?? Go back to the lab ya naked ninnies! That monster of ours isn't getting any younger! Lord Bread: Patience, Rita, my buttercup. We can easily stall those spectacles with an army of Tangos while Wasper Man is being created. ---------- Clerk: ...and I don't EVER want to see you in here again! I have had enough with that pedophilic freak who just came in here grabbing for a gun! Monotonous: We come in peace... Clerk: Well, I bet you come in peace... and I don't wanna know about it. Now get out! Suddenly a bunch of Tangos enter the store and start running around the place throwing food around... Tango #1: Where are they? Tango #2: Just look for someone who's naked. ... Manager (in the Cheese lane): There. I suppose we can salvage with 2 boxes of cheese. Monotonous: Look. The nice man is providing us with more cheese. Manager: Hey, stay away! I thought I told you to get out! Cestraterrestrial: We need cheese or we die. Manager: Hey, I don't know what this place looks like, but this ain't a setting for an America's Funniest Home Videos videoclip. The aliens tear into cheese while the Tangos raid the entire store tearing through food scaring the daylights out of everyone in the store. A frenzy breaks out and people begin running into each other trying to run out the store. The microwave at the counter falls down and breaks into a fire, then the sprinklers go off. Clerk: This is insane!!! That's it! I quit! ... Monotonous: Look, Cestraterrestrial. It's water. An excellent chance to rehydrate as well as satisfy our sexual and dairy needs. C+M: Nyam nyam haaaaaaaaawwww!! The Tangos are now dripping wet. Tango #3: Aw man this sucks! I would've preferred a fight scene to this! Tango #2: Aaaagh! SCENE IX: Young Adam is found batting off the Strange Old Man. Young Adam: Look! I said I don't want you following me, okay? That means buzz off! Strange Old Man: But I must... you are... Young Adam: How many times do I have to say it?? I don't... NGH! The Strange Old Man pushes himself onto Adam, who falls into a strange looking shack, where a strange oriental in ripped jeans and a Yoko Ono T-Shirt pulls out a gun on the two. Strange Oriental Man: All right. Just stay right there, and nobody gets hurt. Young Adam: Dddddd....mmmm... SCENE X: Billy is returning to his lab, where all the lights are turned out. Billy: All right, guys. I got your stupid cheese. Eat up. Guys? Hello? Why are the lights turned out. Don't tell me you disobeyed and did that You know what anyway... guys? Hello? "Ch-ch-ch... ah-ah-ah," chilling type music plays while the sound effects of a heart beat is heard as shaky camerawork slowly moves in on Billy's back. Billy: Hello? All right, guys. This isn't funny anymore. Zordon's gonna have my hide if he finds out that I let you guys get away. Come on out! Please? Suddenly, the sound of some strange creature drooling is heard. Billy: Is that you, fellas? Where are you? Hello? Billy turns around with a surprised look on his face and screams as the camera quickly zooms in on Billy until the picture fades out. SCENE XI: The scene resumes as the Yellow Jacket Wasper Man runs after Billy and begins grabbing his arms. Billy: Let go of me you hideous creature! What are you doing?? Wasper Man: What does it look like? I'm gonna sting your ass so much you're gonna need wallpaper to bandage yourself!! Hahahaha! Billy: Get out of here!! Aaagh! Wasper Man: Hope you like my sharp personality! Hehehe! Wasper Man turns up his behind and starts sticking Billy with his sharp, thick stinger. Billy: OWww!! Aaaaughl!! Help! Someone help me! Ughl!!! Billy falls down to his knees with stings and his face swells. Billy: Help! My thoungue! Aaaaughll!! Ugh... The stinging continues as we pan away from the massacre and leave the camera at the entrance to the lab. We dissolve to see the aliens just now returning from the store, getting dressed. Cestraterrestrial: Quite reliving, wouldn't you say, Monotonous? Monotonous: Oh yes. Very refreshing indeed. This funky rock music starts going to signify tragedy when the two aliens see spots of `blood' all over the garage. Monotonous: Somebody's been here. Cestraterrestrial: What in Peenewawacatchetorinnakashooka happened here? Monotonous: Looks like a massacre. Monotonous puts the red stuff in his mouth. Monotonous: It tastes like tomato sauce. AB Writer: That was SUPPOSE to be blood you fools. Monotonous: Oh. Cestraterrestrial: Someone has seriously done in Billy's garage. Monotonous trips over Billy. Cestraterrestial: What was that? Monotonous: I don't know... Let's find out. Cestraterrestial: It looks like Billy! Look! He's hurt badly. Monotonous: Children's Television laws prohibit we show the body. We must get help. ---------- At the command center... Zordon: I figured it was about time I got some airtime. You must teleport to the Command Center immediately. Something tragic has taken place. ---------- Cestraterrestrial: Yes, Zordon. We shall teleport immediately. SCENE XII: Cestraterrestrial and Monotonous teleport to the Command Center with Alpha standing there. Monotonous: Hello. Cestraterrestrial: Delicream, Carcuss and Urethra have returned from Peenewawacatchetorinakashooka. Alpha: Yes. We...know that already. Delicream: We enjoyed the physical group therapy we had on our planet. Alpha: Ummm, what might that be? Zordon: Group sex, Alpha. You do not need to know about this. Alpha: Aye yi yi! You have to help Billy! Delicream: What is wrong? Zordon: Observe the viewing globe. The Aliens turn around to face the viewing globe. Zordon: The evil Wasper Man, unleashed by Lord Bread and Rita has broken into Billy's lab and repeatedly and severely stang Billy into unconsciousness. And he single-handed ruined the Phase Modulator. Alpha: But I thought that it was called a Particle Accellorator. Zordon: It was. Until now. Alpha: But that's blatent discontinuity. Zordon: Uh huh. Alpha: Aye yi yi. I give up. Zordon: Someone needs to call 9-1-1 to help Billy, as he has fierce sores all around his body. Or we can do option number 2. Alpha: Yeah, I thought a number 2 would be appropriate. Zordon: Alien Rangers, you must teleport to the underground nest where lies the Yellow Jacket mutant Wasper Man. You must not be afraid and you must be on guard against his fierce stinger, for you must save Billy and the Phase Modulator. Delicream: Yes, Zordon. Eet's, MORPHING Time. All: Stooges of Peenewawacatchetorinnakashookia, we need full power. SCENE XIII: In a flash of light, the Kinky Alien Stooges appear in the same underground cave they've used a thousand and one times before. Delicream: It's musky and humid in here. Carcuss: Yes. It smells as if a large mammal has been dying in here for years. Delicream: Regardless, we must proceed with caution. Wapser Man could be setting a trap. Let's go this way. Monotonous: Uh, why? Urethra: It's the only way out of this part of the sound stage. Montonous: Right you are. Let us proceed. Delicream: Yes. The rangers walk through the huge up-side down nest. Urethra: This place is filthy! Carcuss; Wait. Deep hissing breathing is heard near by. Carcuss: I think I hear Billy up ahead! AB Writer: That's Billy? The rangers run by after something Carcuss saw as a shade preceeds their footsteps as the gargling hissing gets louder. Wasper Man: That's right, you Perverted Wierdos! Walk right into your demise. AB Writers: Coincidently, this episode is almost over. We should be seeing some real butt kicking in a minute, but first... SCENE IX: In the shack in Bankok..... Young Adam has his arms in the air and the Strange Old Man does too. Strange Oriental Man: All right. What do you want? Young Adam: Ttthhhe Zero SubCrystal... Strange Oriental Man: Get in the chair. Young Adam: Yyess sir. Strange Oriental Man: You too, you strange old geezer. Young Adam: What do you want?? Strange Oriental Man: I dunno. This entire scene is pointless. Strange Old Man: Eh? Young Adam: Then why are we filming it? Strange Oriental Man: To fill up time and make your journey seem more difficult than it actually should be. Young Adam: In that case, I'll just...leave now. Strange Oriental Man: Not so fast. I have you under a gun now. If you talk, I'm in deep trouble. Now get in the chair so I can tie you up. SCENE X: The Alien Stooges keep walking in search when they come up to Billy near a rock stung up and bruised and red. Billy: Ugh...guys, I won't make it! Look out! Save yourselves! Delicream: No! We must save you, Billy! Billy: No! Look out it's a trap! Delicream trips over a rope and then a giant stinger falls down and sticks both Delicream and Urethra. Delicream: Aagh! I'm hit! The others roll out of the way. Billy: I told you to move, you idiots! Delicream: You're suppose to be unconscious in your lab. Billy: The monster didn't want my body to be left behind as evidence. Delicream: Oh brother. Carcuss: Delicream!! We have to save them. Cestraterrestrial: No time! Wasper Man: Just think of me as the phantom of the opera! You yanked my chain long enough and now I've come back for revenge. Cestraterrestrial: What is that thing talking about? Wasper Man draws a black, spiked pointed object and aims it at the Kinky Alien Stooges. Wasper Man: Prepare to wind up a gigantic puss head! Delicream: Disgusting... Carcuss: Attack! The brutal battle insues as each Kinky Alien Stooge is struck by the singer on Wasper Man causing sparks to fly everywhere. Cestraterrestrial's foot gets stepped on causing him to bend over and grab his foot while hopping on the other as Wasper Man punches out Cestraterrestrial. Meantime, Urethra breaks the black pointed rubber prop on his knee and throws the broken pieces down and then runs over to Delicream. Urethra: I will remove the irritant. Wasper Man: Naw ya don't... Wasper Man throws another stinger at Urethra, on impact, sparks explode from his chest causing him to fly backwards through the air into the cave wall hitting the ground again, slowly rolling over. Carcuss: Aw, you suck! Carcuss draws his pistol and shoots Wasper Man, it backflips over the sparks and then throws two stingers into Cestraterrestrial and Carcuss causing sparks to explode on contact as they go down. Delicream: Oh shoot! Cestrerrestrial and Carcuss fall on the floor like rubber statues. Suddenly the stinger strikes down on Delicream as she takes a blow. Wasper Man takes another dig at Delicream as she goes down from it. Delicream: Hey you! Cut it out. Wasper Man: Oh, and who's gonna make me. You? Come on, make me. Make me stop. Carcuss: If I could just get to my trusty six shooter. Wasper Man decks Delicream again as she goes down smoking. Carcuss starts shooting off the stinger missing each and every time. By sheer luck, he hits it as sparks burst from it's explosion. Delicream: You finally did it. Carcuss: Of course! Wasper Man: Oh please. Carcuss: Behold my shiney sword! Eeah! Eeah! Eeah! Carcuss forms a triangle with his sword which explodes making the Wasper Man drop a ton of stingers on the ground one by one. Carcuss: Now to save my friends! Carcuss dabs rubbing alcohol all over the other Alien Stooges and they quickly and miraculously go back to normal health. ---------- Rita/Lord Bread: Make my monster grow!! Rita and Bread's staffs make Wasper Man grow. ---------- Wasper Man: Hah! Well well well! It's a small world afterall! Hahahaha! Urethra: Okay. Time for us to get out of here! Time for battle! Delicream: Right! Let's go! Billy is left on a rock with stings all over his body. Billy: Um, guys... hello? You forgot to rescue... me. Ah well. Criminies. ---------- Delicream: Okay! There is no time to waste. We have to get busy. Cestraterrestrial: I agree, Delicream. Let's get the bungle borgs! Wasper Man: Yeah. All right. I'm a big bug. I can take it. Bring on your stupid Bungle Borgs. I'll have them in so much pain you won't believe it! Ha ha! Seconds later, the Bungle Borgs have beaten the crap out of Wasper Man and his stinger is hanging off his behind... Wasper Man: All right. You slightly wounded me. But that doesn't mean anything! Wasper Man whips out a handful of stingers and throws them at each Bungle Borg, creating explosions and sparks. Monotonous: You're gonna be sorry you did that, you atrocious insect! All Aliens (rapping): Power of hex, Power of sex! Powers unite! Powers respite! Let's get bring out the big chords! We ask of the power of the Croakin' Zords! The Croakin' Zord is formed and it poses. Wasper Man: Oooh. You get out an equally pathetic heap of trash... well, I'll just sting the hell out of it too! Delicream: That's what you think! Your stinging days are over! Wasper Man: Huh. Go lay an egg, aliens! Cuz the battle has just begun! Seconds later, the Croakin' Zord uses its fierce, fire-coated sword to slice Wasper Man. Wasper Man: Ahh! This is nothing but a minor setback! You can't destroy me!!! Delicream: Looks like we just did. Wasper Man: You haven't seen the last of...uhh...uhh, I feel sick... ughll... Wasper Man explodes. ---------- The sores on Billy's body begin to dissipate... Billy: Hey! I'm healthy again! Yes! No more yellow jacket stings! That former-nerd allergy was beginning to make its comeback! Suddenly the other aliens crowd around Billy. Billy: Oh, you guys pick a fine time to come back. Carcuss: Well excuse me, but the only way to get rid of those sores all over your body, we had to destroy the monster. Billy: Why? Cestraterrestrial: You ask too many questions. Billy: Whatever. Anyway, the Phase Modulator is safe despite the fact Zordon said it was ruined. AB Writer: How'd you know he said it was ruined? Billy: NO MORE PLOT HOLES!!! AB Writer: Cheez. Get stung a few times and they get all jumpy. SCENE XI: Young Adam and the Strange Old Man are sitting tied up in old wooden chairs in a shack at night with a lone light bulb lighting it up. Young Adam: You can't keep me here forever, sir. Strange Oriental Man: Yeah... but I can sure try. Young Adam: Excuse me, but I have to use the bathroom. Strange Old Man: Who says you need a potty? Your pants are fine. Young Adam begins moving his chair away from the Strange Old Man. Young Adam: I want the Zero crystal! No trouble. Please...just let me go! Suddenly, the door busts open and on the other end is movies' Sam Ragatony. Young Adam: Sam Ragatony of the famous movies "Gun Up His Ass," "Gun Up His Asparin" and "The Third Gun Up His Ass!" Sam Ragatony: Ah hah! So THIS is where I'd find you. Strange Oriental Man: What do you want, Ragatony? Sam Ragatony: Wanna know where you're hiding the dope, dude. Strange Oriental Man: I ain't telling you nothing! Sam Ragatony: Then I have no choice. Sam Ragatony brings out a rifle and begins shooting all over the room. Gunplay ensues in the shack. Young Adam: Aah! This is too dangerous! All I wanted was the Zero Subcrystal! Not this!! Ragatony and the Oriental end up in a fist fight until Ragatony punches the gunman through a convenient glass window. Ragatony: Hah. Never mess with the Ragatony. Young Adam: Can you rescue me? Ragatony: Somehow...this green crystal was able to guide me here. Maybe it's the key to finding out who shot my parents and my... Young Adam: Hey!! That's the Zero Subcrystal! You found it! Ragatony: But it's my only... Young Adam takes a giant, heavy crystal shard and puts it in his sack. Young Adam: Thanks mister! I owe you! Young Adam runs out the shack. Ragatony: Daphuh... Oh well. In the next sequel, Sam. In the next sequel. SCENE XII: Rita: Oh Breaddy Boy! Lord Bread: Don't call me that, woman, it makes me sound like some spokestoon for some cheap, overbleached bread. Rita: Your stupid Yellow Jacket went crash and burn. Lord Bread: Well that was because you got involved. Rita: Oh I'm not about to buy that crap. Such a cop-out. Lord Bread: Well even worse bad news that isn't as predictable (in a way) is that that idiotic weiner kid Adam got that crystal somehow. Rita: Well, they won't be so lucky next time! Hahahaha! Lord Bread: What do you have in mind? Rita: You'll see in tomorrow's episode. Lord Bread: Well, I guess it's back to looking at the young, fresh new faces on Malibu Shores. SCENE XIII: Young Adam teleports into the Command Center on the "Zero SubCrystal Discoverer Chair" recliner #2. Young Rocky: Hey, Adam! Are you alive? Young Adam: Yeah. Just barely. Billy: How was the journey? Young Adam: Horrible. I ended up in the mean streets of Bankok, I was approached by this creepy, scary old man who had various physical problems, then I ended up at gunpoint by a drug-dealing korean with a bad haircut. Then I watched deadly gunplay and... Billy: Oh quit your whining and just gimme the stupid subcrystal. Young Adam: What??? Do you have any idea what kind of nail-bitingly painful hell I went through to get that thing??? Young Rocky: Join the club, Adam. He didn't give a crap when I came back out of a volcano with one of them. Young Adam: Here's your stupid shard. Billy: Thanks. Now I'm waiting on Aisha, Kat, Tommy and Austin. SCENE XIV: Underneath the Command Center.... Cheeto: Are we there yet? Goldar: You got eyes...look for yourself. Cheeto: But it's much more fun nagging you. Goldar: You're such a selfish son of a gun. Cheeto: Are we there yet? Goldar: If you say that one more time, I'll stuff my sword down your throat. Cheeto: Fine. Can I use the bathroom? Goldar: Monsters don't NEED to use the bathroom, stupid. Cheeto: You're so mean. Goldar: Hey, I'm TRYING to keep close to our job categorization. BAD guys. Not comedy reliefs. Cheeto: Hey! There's light at this tunnel! I think we're here! Cheeto and Goldar make it out the tunnel. Goldar: What is this??? This is just the back of the Command Center! Damn! Cheeto: Woah! This looks like a nice spot to take a pee. Goldar: Oh how disgusting. Cheeto: Man, what a grouch you are... Goldar: Oh shove it down your throat. THE END/TO BE CONTINUED... Monotonous and Cestraterrestrial enter the | Young Adam - Matthew Sakimoto store and walk towards the cold isle where | cheese, meat and other stuff is. | Young Rocky-Michael O'Laskey, II. | Male Shopper: Pardon me? | Billy Cestraterrestrial: What? | David Yost Male Shopper: You're buck naked! Can't you | see? Are you blind? | Lord Bread Rita Monotonous: Tell me, why is it offensive to | Robert Axlerod Carla Perez be natural? | Male Shopper: Well, because...it's not | Goldar Cheeto allowed on television. | Kerrigan Mahan Bob Pappenbrook Monotonous: On our planet, it is a festive | celebration of that which is the| Baboo Squatt sacred, beautiful body. | Colin Phillips Michael J. Sorich Male Shopper: Look, no one wants to see your| green doodle. How'd you like | Zordon Alpha 5 it if I came in here with my | Bob Manahan Sandi Sellner pants off? | Monotonous: Where's the cheese? | Delicream Urethra | Rajia Baroudi David Bacon ------------------------------------------- | | Cestraterrestrial Monotonous | Karim Prince Jim Gray | | Carcuss | Alan Palmer | | Written by | Ondre and Dairenn Lombard | | Directed by | Ondre Lombard | | Created by | Ondre and Dairenn Lombard | | Original Story by | Stewart St. John | | Originally Produced by | Haim Saban | Shuki Levy | | Original Story Based on | "Beast Ranger" & "Hiding Ranger" | by TOEI Inc. | | Computer Facilities | Packard Bell | | These works are protected under | the fair-use parody provision of | the copyright laws and are not | intended to infringe upon the | original Copyrights of Saban | Entertainment, Saban Int'l, N.V., | or TOEI Inc. All Rights Reserved. | (C) 1996 Artist Bros. Enterprises