Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "A Stupid Reflection on You" Parody of, "A Bad Reflection on You" SCENE I: Rita is beginning the show in her nasty palace. Rita: Hahahaha, I have an idea! Baboo: Don't we get a part in this show? Goldar: No, neither do I--that sucks. Rita: Zip it! Don't you wanna know my plan? Goldar: I guess I don't have a choice, do I? Rita: No. Anyway, I have made the Super Muddies--the ultra play-doh creations. Finster: I saw you, Rita! You stole my monster cookbook! Rita: So I did. You have something to say about it?!??! Finster: Uh, not really, no. Scheduled is an extreme pull-out from Scorpina, except when Scorpina supposedly pulls her hand from over her face she can't get it loose because her claw gets caught on her head-gear. Goldar: You fool! You just ruined that pull-out. Scorpina: I'm sorry, but someone stuck gum on my hand. Goldar: Ugh, anyway, let me take care of that! There. Take 2! The pull-out again. Goldar: Scorpina will lead the Muddies as they become the Pathetic Rangers' evil doubles! Hahahaha. Rita: Yes. Now go down and do what you were just now told! SCENE II: Outside the Angel Grave High School, The "Rangers" are standing around with the same clothing and speaking Muddie gibberish. Rita: No! You have to get a fix on their voice! "Jason": Oh, yeah right. We have our orders? "Trini": No. "Jason": Yeah you do. Man, even the evil Trini has peanut butter for brains. "Zack": I want a pudding pop. "Jason": Well, you ain't getting one. "Zack": Aww, are we just gonna frame the Pathetic Rangers? "Jason" (dismayed over his belittling): Is that ALL??? "Zack": Oh yeah, now I remember. "Jason": Ugh, c'mon; this scene was only suppose to last for 2 seconds. "Billy": Okay. SCENE III: The fakes start roaming the school hall beating up on and shoving everyone. "Trini": Let me get this straight, I'm Thuy Trang, and I'm playing the bad one too? "Jason": Yes, stupid! Now to the fountain. While Billy's trying to crack open the water fountain top with a crowbar, his good guy, nerd friend walks up to him. Nerd: Hey Billy. Whatcha doin'? "Billy": Exsqueeze me, but can't you see I'm BUSY? Nerd: What are you doing? "Billy": None of your damn business. Nerd: Oh that's nice. So, how's life been treating you? "Billy": I can see you don't understand language, you understand knuckles! Pasta la pizza, homenerd! "Billy" grabs the nerd friend and throws him to the ground then takes his crowbar and roughly brushes it aside his face. Nerd: Aaaaaaagh!! Nice chatting with ya Bill. Ugh. "Billy": Where were we? "Jason": You were about to take a pee in the water fountain. "Billy": Right. Billy and Trini jimmy off the water fountain top and Billy commences urinating in it and then he puts the fountain top back on. "Billy": Oh right. Uh oh, it's Capbutt. Let's split! Capbutt approaches the water fountain and turns it on to drink when a tall squirt of yellow liquid hits his face and he has to wipe it off. Capbutt: UGH! Augh!! Ugh! Ew! All "rangers" are laughing at Capbutt. Capbutt: YOU FIVE DETENTION, YOU FIENDS! They continue laughing and walk away and we take an extremely quick pan to the real rangers, who see Capbutt swallowing his tongue and Jason notices him covered in grime and quickly gets him a towel from out of no where. Billy: Are you okay, Capbutt? Capbutt: You five! Detention! Jason: What did we do? Capbutt: GO! Billy: But... Jason: I hope this wasn't for giving Miss Appleweed a haircut! Capbutt: Shut up and go! Jason: All right. But you can't do this to us! Capbutt: And just why not? Jason: Because we're the Pathetic... MMMM!!! Billy covers his hand over Jason's mouth. Billy: He means we're pathetic, we'll just mosey. Capbutt: Yes you will. SCENE IV: In the detention room... Capbutt: You will stay here until I finish taking a shower and taking my ruined clothes to the cleaners! Capbutt leaves the hall. Bulk: Peeing in the fountain? Hahahaha, that was really lame. Kimberly: We didn't do it, ice-cream brain. Jason: Ugh. Bulk: Beat it, muscle head. Jason: My head is not made of muscles. Bulk: Yeah it is, that's why it's so big. Skull: Yeah, big of himself. Jason: Be quiet and take your seat. Bulk: This IS my seat! Jason: Do I see your name written on it? Bulk: Yeah--look. Bulk shoves Jason's books aside and there are dark letters engraved on the desk. Bulk: See that? B-u-u-l-c-k! Trini: It's not even spelled right, gomer. Bulk: That's because it's suppose to be me. Billy: I don't mean to be a prude but I thought that the cro-magnons were extinct. Bulk: Oh that's hilarious, dweeb. I'm going to take my seat. Jason: Just don't break it. Bulk: Urrrr. Ahh. Skull: So, how about that date [Kimberly]? Kimberly: This time, you didn't pour wine down my mouth. Skull: What's that s'pposed to mean? Kimberly: It means, get out of my hair before I smash your nose up in my text book. Skull: Well! Zack: Man, I can't believe we have to put up with this all day long. Trini: Better be glad we're not in Detention where I was born. Jason: Why is that? Trini: Because they'd make you watch the original show where we got the stock footage from, " Zyu Stooges." Billy: No no, that was Japan. Trini: Really? I thought it was Vietnam. Kimberly: What does it matter? This show is just recycled. Zack: Recycled garbage, you mean. Trini: Pipe down. The writers are STILL listening even though we're not on the main set. SCENE V: The fake rangers jump off a building and smash up their suits and starts rubbing their heads in pain. Somehow, picking the pieces up, they start attacking every japanese woman, man and child in Japan. SCENE VI: Back in the detention room... Zack: Man, this stinks. Jason: What does? Your drawers? Zack: NO! We're in detention. Trini: It's better than watching Jason kiss his muscles after class. Jason: Hey look, Bulk's gonna eat. Take cover! Bulk brings out this lunch-box and starts pulling out balogna sandwiches, Pizza's, Soda cans, pastromi sandwiches, mashed potatoes, steak, pork, spam, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a chicken drumstick, breadsticks, biscuits, milk shakes, hamburgers and a jar of pickles. Bulk: What, no spaghetti? Aww, I might get hungry. Kimberly: Why don't you just kill yourself after detention? Bulk: What do you mean by that, pretty? Kimberly: Nothing. Nevermind. Skull starts ogling Bulk's food in hunger. Bulk: Get away, your breath is going to blend with my sandwich. Skull: Sorry. Can I have something to eat? Bulk: NO! Go away. Skull: You have to at least give me a can of beef soda. Bulk: All right. I never liked that flavor anyway, I prefer turkey. Here. Skull: Thanks. Skull shakes it up too much and opens it and the soda goes splattering all over his face and hands. Kimberly: Hahahahaha! Skull: Oh yeah? Skull begins shaking up his soda can. AB Writers: We know what happened next, let's just skip it. SCENE VII: Bulk brings from out of his bean bag a 7" TV set and sets it up in detention. Bulk: Time for my favorite cartoon show. Zack: Oh no! Skull: Yeah, it's "Wendoll, The Exposed Organ Man." Bulk: This is the one where he eats his own intestines. Billy: A show of abalienation and possible decerebration leading to a distinct condition of morosis and neuroma. Kimberly: Quiet. They're getting off on their idiot fest. Bulk: Haha. Ha ha. Hahahahaha! Jason: Stop laughing. Turn it to "American Gladiators." My father works on that show. Bulk: All you wanna see is someone spilling blood. Billy: Ahhh, nevermind. Newsdude: Hi, I'm Link Linkellinky. I'm a serious newsdude. By the way, I'M GAY! SEE, I'M GAY! I AM A HOMOSEXUAL! SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT? Jason: Do we have to know that? Trini: Shh... Newsdude: We interrupt this important program to bring you a trivial report... Wait a minute.. That's - We interrupt this trivial program to bring you an important report -- well, sort of. Anyway, five crayon-colored, egg-shaped, helmet-wearing, ego'ed-out comic smashes have shown their true colors. Tee-Hee. They are in Downtown Tokyo, I mean, Angel Grave blowing up a lot of stuff and nobody knows how much it will cost. And just for your enjoyment, we shall rewind, for 5 times, the rangers falling on their helmets, causing a major, and in fact, noticeable, crack in their egg-helmets. Back to "Wendoll, the finale generation." Jason: Man, that's bogus. I. . . I mean, Red Rash Ranger would never join the forces of evil, unless... Nevermind, anyway; I'm being framed!! Billy: What about us? Jason: Who care... I mean, we're being framed. Billy: You suck. Trini: This sucks. Kimberly: We suck. Zack: Zordon sucks. Jason: What else sucks? Kimberly: That my chair is only two inches away from ham-hog over there. Bulk: Hey, you call my name? Kimberly: And plus, I haven't gotten a real line in this farce since I don't know when. Jason: Whatever. That water-retaining bean-bag boob of a fish swarming in that aquarium hasn't beeped us yet. Hey, since we're on an uncharted TV sound stage and Zordon can't page us, let's say what we really hate about him. Kimberly: I hate when Zordon yells at us and tells us to look at the viewing globe. Zack: I hate how he sends us to face death while he plays Konkey-Dung with Alpha. Trini: What about when he contacts us and says something obnoxious? Bulk: What are you dweebs talking about? Trini: Can't reveal our identity to those clowns. Jason: Who cares, their brain is about as good as an old banana peeling. Besides, I do get your point, if they know who we are, we'll be forced to give them a hot dog and doughnut morpher. Billy: And boy how angry would Zordon be if we brought those cholesterol ingrates to the command center. Kimberly: Hey, I think Mr. Capbutt split. Jason: What are you talking about? He's in the hallway loading an elephant gun. Kimberly: He is? I don't see him. Billy: Hallucinations - first sign of withdrawal of sex. Don't worry, Kim. Once we get out of this hell hole we can get our fulfill our true desire for each other. Kimberly: It's kinda hard when I'm seeing you wearing a shirt without sleeves. Ooo, those pumped arms. Billy: Oh, you're making me so horn... Zack: Ah, I think we should cut it right there before the censors hurl. Jason: We have to think about more important things, like how am I suppose to get a hold of my power? Trini: I was suppose to ask that question, dope. Jason: Well, ask it. Trini: Ugh. But how? Jason: How, what? Trini: What? Jason: I asked, How what. Trini: What you mean? Jason: What, how you ask? Trini: How, what? Jason: You asked what how. Trini: I asked how what. Jason: No, wait a minute, I did. Trini: You did. I asked how do we moprh. Billy: Not so loud! Zack: Uh, while you guys were dementing that Abbott and Costello routine, I already had these balogna brains counting backwards from 100. Bulk and Skull have their fingers plugging up their ears and blindfolds on. Skull: 43. Bulk: 67. Skull: 54. Bulk: 67, wait a minute. 23. Skull: 22. Jason (yelling): IT'S MORPHIN TIME! Zack: Just ego tripping because I deafened Bulk. Jason: Shut up. Zack: Majormess Kimberly: Pterodorky Billy: Tribladdertops Trini: Sabertoothed Alley-Cat Jason: Trashosaurus SCENE VIII: A powerless Tommy is seen at the command center eating chinese food with Alpha. Alpha: Are you sure this stuff won't oil my motor battery? Tommy: Trust me. Alpha: Okee. Zordon: Observe the viewing globe. Tommy: Where'd you come from? That wasn't in the script! Zordon: I know. Alpha: Wow, looks like the Rangers threw a party. Tommy: No. YOW! Yellow Ranger just threw a beach-chair! Alpha: My goodness. These can't be the real rangers. Zordon: Of course not, this is Rita's doing. Tommy: Well, what are we going to do about it? Zordon: Absolutely nothing. Alpha: Oh. Uh oh, Tommy, the cameras are here. Better clean up this take-out food. You get outta here, you're suppose to be powerless. Tommy: Right, I'm outta here. SCENE IX: ALL: Pathetic Rangers! The rangers arrive at some unknown Mall parking lot for battle. Scorpina: Attack the Pathetic Rangers! The phony rangers start beating each other up. Scorpina: No stupid, THEM! Phonies: Oh. The fakes begin attacking the real rangers. SCENE X: Back at the school's detention room... Bulk: 9. Skull: 7. Bulk: 8. Skull: 8. Bulk: Wait, I just said that. I give up. Bulk gets up, unplugs his ears and takes off his blindfold. Bulk: Hey! They're gone! Skull, what did you do with them? Skull? Bulk opens Skull's eyes and ears. Skull: Hey, they're gone! Bulk: Gee, Skull; nothing gets past you. SCENE XI: The Rangers fight the Muddies in Rangers' Clothing until TwinTwerp is left. TwinTwerp: Hey Rangers, wanna here a joke? Zack: Yeah, tell us something we haven't heard. TwinTwerp: Like Miss Appleweed's thighs when she walks? Jason: Now that's funny. TwinTwerp: Nevermind. Here goes: why did the fireman wear suspenders? Trini: Why? TwinTwerp: Because he's a nerd! Billy: Now I know why they call him a twirp. TwinTwerp: Now you've got me hopping mad! TwinTwerp starts hopping up and down. Kimberly: What are you doing? TwinTwerp: I'm hopping, mad! Now you're going to get it. All: UGH!!! Jason: Oh well, let's just wrap this up since we can't fight worth a damn. We need the MegaSpitter! Zack: Power Axe! Kimberly: Power Bow! Trini: Power Daggers! Billy: Power Lance! Jason: Power Sword! Their weapons formulate the Mega-Spitter who fires laser-spit. They blow TwinTwerp up and there's nothing left but a bunch of cut glass when the citizens run up to the Pathetic Rangers to give their apologies. Fat Lady: I knew you were being framed. Those frauds weren't funny at all! Skinny Nerd Dude: It's good that those evil twins got what they deserved. Now we have good clean comedy. Man: Hey guess what!? "Soap" is having a reunion! All Citizens: YAY! News-chic: And the rangers have been cleared of any wrong doing. This is Barbara Alwaysmakinluv for channel 99 news. SCENE XII: Back at the detention room... Skull: I've got an idea, how 'bout we turn those goody-two-shoes in? Bulk: Yeah, let's do it. They walk out the door when they find Mr. Capbutt examining a piece of mold at the end of a sandwich. Bulk: Hey, Capbutt; those goody-two-shoes SPLIT! Capbutt: Oh really? Skull: Yeah! Capbutt: Oh all right. But if they're in there, you'll be doing detention 'til this show actually is good! All five rangers are seen in the detention room teleporting back to their seats. Capbutt then enters the detention room to see them all standing side to side in a broadway manner. All Rangers: Hey Butt, we learned our lesson! Jason: And all the rangers sing... All Rangers (singing while crossing arms over legs): Shoop ta doop, shoo ba doo be doop, shoop ta doop, shoo ba doo be doop. Hey, Mr. Capbutt! Capbutt: Uh huh. The classroom bell rings. Capbutt: I hope you've all learned a lesson. Jason: We sure have. Kimberly: What lesson? Zack: Just take the credit! Capbutt: As for you and Skull, I'll see you tomorrow. Bulk: I hate my life. THE END (C) 1994 Artist Bros. Enterprises NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS... Because of their supposed undying service to the city, the Mayor has decided to name today Pathetic Ranger Day! Kimberly: ...and because the Rangers are so funny, they've decided to name today: Pathetic Rangers' day...? ...but the bad guys get some ideas from this, as usual... Rita: Maybe we should join in the festivities too! Baboo: Should I bring my bikini? Goldar: We're not going on a social visit, you nerd! We're going to mess things up a little. Rita: No! We're going to mess things up a lot! I'm going to call upon your WarZord Cementus. With its pavement blocks for feet, MegaJunkaZord wont stand a chance. ... Will Kimberly stop wearing spandex so tight you can see her undergarment straps three miles away? Can MegaJunkaZord and Pathetic Rangers defeat this Freeway segment? Did the Rangers threaten the Mayor into creating "Pathetic Ranger day"? Find out on the NEXT Episode of the Pathetic Rangers!