Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "Grumpy Bee" Parody of, "Grumble Bee" SCENE I: A crowd of the same kids (to be exact 14 of the same kids) are in Miss Appleweed's weed-whacking and math class, particularly Billy, who's the only ranger there because the others cut class to go to an unauthorized class for gifted minds only being taught by a stud guy teacher and some hot chic from a 1-900 number commercial. Getting back to Billy's class... Miss Appleweed walks over to a starry-eyed, anxious Billy. Miss Appleweed: I'm sorry, Billy, but my kids threw up in my purse. I got angry and ah, I wanna give you a bad grade for once. Here's a B. Billy: A B!?!? A B!?!?!? I'LL LOSE MY MIND!!!! Oh no! Now my compensation for my mental shortcoming no longer exists! What am I going to do? Miss Appleweed: Get a grip. When Appleweed leaves, the other rangers sneak in to keep from getting caught for ditching class. Kimberly: Hey Bill, you wanna have some quality time with me after school? Billy: Not now, Kim! The worst thing in the entire world has happened to me! Zack: What? Did your mom get mugged? Trini: Did your house get robbed? Jason: Did you realize you had private parts? Billy: NO! I got a _B_ on my test! Oh woe is me! Kimberly: You're starting to talk like a girl, dope. Billy: I'm going to lose every single stitch of sanity I have! Zack: Too late for that. Kimberly: C'mon, just because your love life is shot, you don't have much physical skill, you're socially inept and have no discernible personality doesn't mean getting a B means that much. Billy: My mind is all I have! What more, if I get another bad grade... Kimberly: I would hardly call that a bad grade. THIS is a bad grade. Kimberly hands Billy her report card filled with Ds and C minuses. Billy: I'm glad I'm not in your shoes. Anyway, if I get another B, I can't get into the Geek Nerdites Fraternity of American Schooling! Jason: Come again? Billy: Got no time! I've gotta hastily retreat to my location of headquarters and residence to rapidly collect large quantities of excessively technical insight to enhance my intellectual capacity! Kimberly: Huh? Trini: He says he's gotta hurry home and study! Gosh, get a brain, Kim. Billy closes up his books, drops them in his backpack and attempts to flee the classroom when he runs right into Bulk's belly. Bulk: Hey, geek. I heard about your stupid B! Billy is standing there, frozen, with bags under his eyes, his hair muss, bloodshot eyes and his teeth grinding. Billy: I have no time for this! Bulk: Sure you do, punk! We are not going to allow you to go anywhere until we've thoroughly made you feel like soap scum! Skull: Yeah. B stands for bum! Bulk: B stands for boob! Skull: B stands for Bulk. Bulk: Would you shut up? Skull: Right. Bulk: B stands for... Billy: ...the barf you will be tasting if you don't get out of my way. Billy steps on Skull's foot and jams his fist up Bulk's belly and walks away. Bulk: I'll get you for this, nerd! SCENE II: At Rita's palace... Rita goes into Finster's workshop with a bone to pick with him. Rita: FINSTER! FINSTER! I'm in a _real_ bad mood! Finster: You always are. Rita: That's because I just got through taking a look at the trashbag we haven't emptied since October and it's piled with your stupid little monsters that make my brains look like running toothpaste! And I'm tired of it! Do you have a monster?? Finster: I always do, somehow. Anyway, this is called Grumpy Bee. Rita: What is he suppose to do? Finster: I dunno. I guess he's suppose to buzz a lot. Rita: You stupid idiot! It's suppose to sting the rangers into delirium! Finster: The only problem is he has a really crummy attitude and is always cranky, grumpy and cantankerous all the time, kinda reminds me of someone I know. Rita: Uhhhh, just stop talking and make the monster! Finster: Right away! SCENE III: In the locker room, Kimberly has ironically changed clothes again (even though the school session isn't over yet, let alone the day). Kimberly and Trini approach Billy, who is nervously shaking while trying to open his locker. Kimberly: I'll help you study, Billy. Billy: That wouldn't be a good idea. Kimberly: Why not? Billy: One, you don't know anything whatsoever. Two, with you around, I'll NEVER get any studying done. Kimberly: You're right. Trini: I'll help you study! Billy: Ah yes! The teenage female with the most unappealing exterior and brain the size of Saudi Arabia. You'll do quite fine. Trini: Thank you. What? Did he just make a pass at me? Kimberly: No. I think he made a slam at you. Trini: The nerve! Oh well. Kimberly: I'm going to go shoot some hoops with Jason and Zack. Just remember, Billy, you tried your best. Billy: Oh, now I REALLY feel good now! Thanks a lot for calling me stupid! Get outta here! Kimberly: Right, right, right. SCENE IV: Jason, Kimberly and Zack are shooting hoops outside Zack's house. Kimberly: That was really fun, huh? Jason: I'm sure. Ya know, Billy's such a dork. Did you hear how over-emotional he got over a stupid B? Zack: Man, there's nothing wrong with getting a B. Heck, I get C minuses everyday and I don't fret. Wait a minute, I only got running Cs last week. Jason: That's because Billy got sick and couldn't do your homework. Zack: Oh yeah, I hate his tonsils. Jason: Well, I guess he got the B because he's always busy doing our homework, I guess we all feel pretty bad about it, huh? [Pause] ALL: NAH! Suddenly, Muddies and Goldar appear. Goldar: Bahahahahaha, IT'S ME AGAIN! Jason: Oh no. You got something obnoxious to say as usual? Goldar: Muddies, attack the over-confident lame-brains! Muddies start aimlessly attacking the rangers and eventually tie them up with some odd looking bubble gum. Goldar: Hahahaha, that bubble tape Bubble Gum is going to stick onto you so long, while Grumpy Bee and me turn you into that popular soda pop. Kimberly: Which one is that? Goldar: Slice! Hahahahaha. Isn't that too bad? We're going to attack the most weak, pitiful rangers of all! Hahaha! Oh yeah, and just remember, there is no escape. Bye! Goldar and the Muddies disappear. Jason: We have to get out of here. Zack: Escape! Escape! Freedom! Escape! Jason: Snap out of it, we've only been tied up for 54 seconds. Zack: I know, but I have to scratch my nose. Jason: Let's switch the scene. Hopefully, it'll give you some time to scratch your nose since we all know we're pretending like we can't get out and this is really some stupid super-imposed, computerized lasso. SCENE V: In Billy's tiny bedroom, he and Trini are studying some book for the equation of life itself. Billy: Oh! So square root of 8,001 times the energy times the mass divided by C squared plus X divided by Y results in the prime numbers 365, 666 and 321! I'm real smart! Trini: You're amazing, Billy. Billy: Yeah, I know. Trini (to herself; sarcastically): Yeah, and modesty is his middle name. Billy: Uh what was that, Trini? The rangers are paged by Zordon. Billy: Yeah, Zordon? Zordon: How do you know it's me? It could be Alpha. Billy: You're usually beeping because you're bored. Is this the same reason? Zordon: Yes and no. Actually, your friends apparently got tied up by a sticky, gooey like bubble gum after being attacked by muddies and they can't get free. Billy: Why don't they just go... Zordon: Teleport, bonehead. Billy: Oh right. C'mon, Trini. Trini: I'm almost out of the bathroom, hold on. Zordon: You're coming now! Trini walks out of the bathroom stall still buckling her skirt on. Trini: I'm read... Aaaaaah! Trini is interrupted by getting teleported just after leaving the bathroom. ---------- Zordon: Better. Billy: Why did you teleport us? To tell us to look at the viewing globe again? If so, I'll do it myself. So who's this gross monster? Zordon: I'm not telling because you didn't let me tell you to look at the viewing globe. Alpha: For god sakes, you're 31,995 years old, you're old enough not to pout. Zordon: Oh all right. The monster is Grumpy Bee, he stings everyone 'til they start seeing pink elephants and oatmeal colored snakes. Trini: Basically, delirium? Zordon: Yes, with the rangers tied up in Bubble Gum, they're vulnerable to its sting. You have to stall him away before he gets to the gang. Trini: Then what? Zordon: Well, then the plot starts getting outrageously confusing. Trini: Oh, IT'S MORPHIN TIME! Billy: But I thought I'm suppose to say... Trini: Just forget it! Billy: Tribladdertops Trini: Sabertoothed Alley-Cat SCENE VI: Rita takes her eye away from the telescope smiling. Rita: Ah, the bee is winning. Goldar: Don't be a fool, my queen. Grumpy hasn't even shown up in this parody yet. Baboo: I think she's lying to herself again. Squatt: I'm glad, now I won't get yelled at! Rita: My yelling is determined by your boob brained friend Finster and his dopey monsters. Goldar: Whatever. Time to attack, Grumpy. Grumpy: Who are you lookin' at, huh? Do I look like some kind of soldier here to attack and bring back five insolent dummy teenagers here to amuse you? Goldar: Get this through your pollen filled brain; I'm ten times stronger than you and I could have you as small as an ant if you don't shut up and bring back five annoying teenagers with their weenie coins! Grumpy: Yeah, yeah. Just as long as I get extra pay. SCENE VII: The rangers are still in the sparkling bubble yum bubble gum, bubble tape, but they're not struggling due to boredom. Jason: Now what? This is starting to get boring. Kimberly: I know. Being tied in some odd gum is awfully dull. Zack: We have to wait for Billy and Trini to do something. Jason: That could take hours. Kimberly: Well, we're gonna have to find something to amuse ourselves until then. Jason: How about fantasizing about the best things in our lives? Like when I became a pathetic ranger? Zack: Ego-man. Ahh, I can't help but think about that date with Sandwicha. Kimberly: Or what about that time Billy and I went to this motel and we did it 'til... Jason and Zack stare at Kimberly. Kimberly: Well, um; nevermind. SCENE VIII: Billy and Trini are getting squashed and squished, mashed and mushed by Grumpy Bee's stings out in that unknown park area. Billy: We're not getting anywhere! Trini: If only the other three stronger rangers were here. Billy: If only Tommy was here! Trini: He's gotta conserve energy. Billy: Why? The only reason that comes to mind is that he's exhausted after that Saturday night last week. Trini: Get your mind out of the gutter. Gumby is going to attack. Grumpy: That's Grumpy! Take this! Grumpy blows up the field... Billy/Trini: UGH!!! Trini: We've gotta get out of here! Billy: You're right. Grumpy: You two are a bunch of whimps. Billy and Trini run for their lives. SCENE IX: Trini and Billy appear within the Command Center. Zordon: You two dolts. You didn't do anything but get your new suits all dirty. Billy: It's time for this parody to start getting confusing. Zordon: Right. You have to destroy his tail to be able to get access to his eyeball, thereby sending him to the Achlorhydria Acrotism. Trini: Gotcha! It's morphin time! Zordon: Hold it, you idiots! It's time to shift back to the other rangers' scene. Billy: This gives me some time to use the bathroom... Zordon: Their scene won't take THAT long. Billy (sarcastically): That's really funny, Zordon. SCENE X: Meanwhile, at the outdoor basketball court. Jason: Time to do some ridiculously impossible tricks. Zack: Right. Jason begins wiggling his arms and they get free. Kimberly: I often pause and wonder what the point of this past venture was for? Jason: Suspense, I guess, that went directly down the drain. Listen, it's time to find out what's going on. Zack: I'm sure we've missed out on several things. Jason: Zordon? What's going on? Zordon: Well since I can't rewind the videotape, I'll have to tell you. Grumpy Bee is Rita's new creation, he's been BUGGING... Zack: Yo, lose the dumb pun. Zordon: Shut up, Zachary. Now then, the Bee has been bugging Billy and Trini, and they therefore need help. Of course, Yellow and Blue Ranger are still on the John. I knew this dumb gum scene wasn't going to last THAT long. Jason: We're with ya. IT'S MORPHIN TIME! Alpha: Hey you guys, how did you get out of that gum without my help? That WAS in the script. Remember? Jason: Nothing in these dumb parodies make any sense, so why are you whining? Alpha: Oh right, I just wanted to feel useful. Jason: Well you're not. IT'S MORPHIN TIME, again... Zack: Majormess Kimberly: Pterodorky Jason: Trashosaurus SCENE XI: Billy: Tribladdertops Trini: Sabertoothed Alley-Cat Trini: Why didn't I get to say it's morphin time? Billy: I'm sure the kids don't wanna see yer big head all up in the camera. Trini: [Nasty Grin] Anyway, we're gonna join the rest, okay? Billy: But they're all tied up. Trini: Live, Billy. They're already free, dummy. Billy: Oh. Cool. The rangers bunch up together. Jason: WE NEED MORE POWER! Zack: Wait! Rita hasn't even made Grumpy Bee grow big, yet. Jason: I know, I just crave more power. Trini: You're starting to make me sick. Jason: Yeah, yeah. ---------- Rita: Make Grumpy grow! Goldar: Yup, desperate. ---------- Jason: We need DinoJunk power now! The Zords crash together and destroy Grumpy Bee. SCENE XII: In Ernie's Junk Food Bar... Tommy walks up to the gang, who are doing nothing. Tommy: Hey, dudes! Zack: Where've you been? Tommy: I don't know. So what's up? Jason: Nothing, besides destroying some cranky ol' bee. Tommy: Cool. Although, I wish Zordon had've called me. It's always nice to drop in with my totally rad suit. Kimberly: Well you have to conserve your energy. You can only come in every OTHER episode. Tommy: Conserve what energy? I was home all day watching "90210!" Billy: HEY! I didn't get a B! I got an A! All rangers (unenthusiastically): Yay. THE END (C) 1994 Artist Bros. Enterprises NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS... ...Kimberly is chosen to go on the most phony game show on Angel Grave Television! Kimberly: NO. I'm going on Smelly Meat as a contestant. Tommy: Oh wow! Kimberly: Yeah, and I can win a Brand New Mustang Ford. ...but Rita discovers her escapades and patterns yet ANOTHER evil scheme after it... Goldar: Bahahahaha! Squatt has planted old moldy meat in Angel Grave Park. The smell can deprive their good citizens of 3 of their senses. Will the Rangers run the garbage disposer on Moldy-Meat? Is Kimberly going to die on Smelly Meat from smelling too much 6 year old poultry? Find out on the NEXT Episode of the Pathetic Rangers!