Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "The Feeble Claymation" Parody of, "The Beetle Invasion" SCENE I: The Pathetic Rangers are sitting in Ernie's Junk Food Bar listening to disco music on a transister radio. Jason (singing with the radio): Turn the beat around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love to hear percussion! Turn it upside down, yeah yeah yeah... Trini: I am really, really.... bored. Jason: Shhh, here comes the best part! (Singing) Flute player, play your flute chords, I know... Tommy switches off the radio. Tommy: Shut up, Jason. Listening to the tunes of Donna Summer can become quite tedious. Jason: Well? If that's the case, do you have a suggestion for what we should do? Kimberly turns back on the radio. Kimberly: Ooo, my favorite song is on! [Singing to Ace of Base's "The Sign."] I saw the sign, and it opened up my mind... Ernie: Aye oh, you two; you can't play any music. It conflicts with the hip-hoppening stuff I've personally selected. Jason: But we were just... Ernie: Turn the crap off! Jason: Yes sir. Trini: Please tell me that was NOT our only source of entertainment. Jason: Man, am I bored. Zack: Yo Ernie, whatcha doin'? Ernie: Playing sports. Zack: Yeah right, you were sweepin'. Ernie: No I wasn't. I was playing sweep-soccer. Jason: Is that a new sport? Ernie: Naww, it's real old! Jason: Then how come this is the first time I ever heard of it. Ernie: You shut up. Billy: How do you play? Ernie: Well--it's just like hockey. 'Cept you use a broom, and a ball. Zack: Duhhhh, really? Is that what that round thing was? Kimberly: Fascinating! Ernie: Shut up you two. You were interrupting my game. Tommy: You won't play anywhere passed two minutes. If you were as athletic as you say you were, you wouldn't be as huge as a 3-story apartment condo. Ernie: Why don't you shut up? Tommy: Because I'm bored. What better than to take pot shots at Mr. McNugget. Ernie: I don't appreciate you taking shots at my weight. I find myself to be very sexy. Billy: Heh--heh, heh. Right. Ernie: Just what's that supposed to mean? Billy: I was just mumbling. Jason: Can we play? Ernie: Sure I... These rich male and female teenagers with tennis-wear on with an ascot stuffed inside their shirts barge in the Junk Food Bar and knocks Ernie aside. Male Rich Braggert: Hey Chunky Pork-Punk, we entered the bar, we OWN it now. Female Rich Braggart: Yeah. Ernie: Need I remind you. *I* bought it with my own money! Male Rich Braggart: What did you have to do? Sell that clonky Dodge of yours? Ernie: I am in no mood for you. Jason: Hey, I'm Jason. Kimberly: I'm Kimberly. Female Rich Braggart: Oh hi, Bimboly. Kimberly: Nice to meet you too. Hey, I've been doin' this club where I do potted plants and spandex pants. Wanna sign up? Female Rich Braggart: Moi? Involve myself in the activities of mere Pigeon Extriment? Kimberly: How about I sign you up anyway? Kimberly begins writing in her clipboard. Kimberly: Let's see here, B-I-T-C... Jason: Listen, what do you want? We're bored, but we're not so bored that we'll revel in the fact someone spent enough time to make fools of us. Male Rich Braggart: Listen, we have to get to that Sweep-Soccer game. Ernie: Hey, I think these guys would like to take you on. Tommy: But wait a minute, Ernie.. we never... Ernie: They could kick your buns back to England. Zack: No no, stop for a minute. See, what we're tryin' to say is... Ernie: They'll twist you into a pretzel with their bare teeth. Jason: Nononono! We didn't say that, we... Ernie: They'll wipe up the walls with your ass's and then toss them to the next starbay. You don't know what kinds of power you snobs are messin' with! Male Rich Braggart: Is that so. Hmmm; well, I don't know. We've had several sissies on the floor begging us for mercy--we need a REAL challenge. Jason: Listen, ya snobby little punk; we don't have to take this abuse. And frankly, I don't think we're as whimpy as you high-browed snot-ass's make us out to be. Male Rich Braggart: Yeah right; real athlete's don't hang out with NERDS. Tommy: Hey, we don't hang out with a... Tommy suddenly notices Billy in his chair writing pages of math homework with a penpocket. Jason: Billy? Billy: Mm? Jason: Go away--you're making us look bad. Billy: HEY! I'm pumped! More pumped than Zack. Female Rich Braggart: Ahh well. I've had a rough week. Maybe I'll take a break and take a challenge from these canaries. Come on, Wilson. Male Rich Braggart: Geeves? A really old, balding british man humped over in a tuxedo enters the bar ready to escort the two braggart's home. Geeves: Yes madame? Female Rich Braggart: Take us home, Geeves. Geeves: Yes sir. Madame. All three exit. Jason: Eulk! What a revolting sight. We're gonna kick those snob's bottoms Saturday. Zack: Alright!! Uhhh, how do you play Sweep-Soccer? All: Aww no!! SCENE II: Lord Bread's... Lord Bread: Hmmmm.... I need a monster--a monster that'll wipe out Green Ranger. Goldar: Ya know, this mad persuit is quite reminiscent of the tale of Moby Dick. And I'm startin' to get worried about your psychological health. Lord Bread: You say that as if I give a damn. Goldar: Alright. But you're relentlessly trying to get Green Ranger. And the only reason it may work is because he's lame--literally. Why don't you try to get Red Ranger? Without him, the rangers are nothing but cackling idiots. Lord Bread: If you make me look bad on the camera once more, there's gonna be hell to pay! Goldar: What are you gonna do? Lord Bread: I'm thinking! You're ruining my concentration! Goldar: What do you have to concentrate about? All you do is finger any inanimate object that happens to be obvious on earth and turn it into a not-so-scary mutant. What next? A traffic-light monster? Lord Bread: That sounds interesting. OH what am I saying? OBVIOUSLY the ideas coming from you--the incredable moron--couldn't POSSIBLY work! I am the smartest of all. Goldar: Great. Then what's your plan? Lord Bread: SHUT UP. Goldar: Bye. Lord Bread: I'll surely think of something. All I need is a really scary monster who can swipe every last drop of Green Ranger's power and start wasting it left and right like a charge card. Yeah, then, once he's done using it up, Green Ranger will be no more! Hahahahahah! SCENE III: In the park... Tommy and Kimberly have a mess of flyers advertising the tryouts for the soccer game. Tommy: Why are we doing this? Kimberly: Because we need players. Tommy: But we're the Pathetic Rangers. Kimberly: Yeah? So? Tommy: So? We know karate. What would we need with extra players? Kimberly: Oh I don't know--I guess they call it; a TEAM? Tommy: Ugh. Oh well. SCENE IV: Lord Bread: That's perfect! That flyer for the Beetle Team will be perfect! Goldar: AH yes, the bad guy team. How pathetic. A FLYER?? AS IN--ON PAPER!!?!? Lord Bread: It's genius! What a masterpiece! I call him, BeetleJuice! Goldar: Oh puh-leeze! Lord Bread whips out his X-stick and makes the picture of a beetle on top of the rangers' opposing Sweep-soccer team's flyer become a "hideous" beetle monster with a squeaky, high-pitched voice. BeetleJuice: Alright, pathetic rangers! I'm ready ta rock! You'll get pulverised when I get my fists on you to crack your bones and deform your juggular! HAhahahahaha!! The BeetleJuice monster fizzes away as several computer-generated beetles fizzes him away. SCENE V: The rangers are waiting for Billy when Billy runs up to the rangers outside the Junk Food Bar. Jason: Billy! How can you be so incredibly late? Billy: Hey, there was a sale. Buy 2 nachos and get one taco for free down at taco bell. Jason: I'd expect this from Zack. But you? Trini: I knew he wouldn't be impressed. Billy: Our sign looks much better. Zack: Yeah--well we're expected to say that. I mean, what are we gonna say? "Gee, their sign looks far better than ours." Trini: Yeah, our conceited ego-stroking is kinda obvious. Jason: We're gonna kick their buns. Just as soon as we get some lessons. Billy: Right. I sure hope Tommy isn't pinching Kimberly's ass and in a lip-lock with her by the river instead of pasting more flyers. Zack: God your paranoid. Billy: Yeah well, you have not'n to worry about. I'm pretty sure Sandwitcha was the last love of your life that you'll ever have. Zack: Bull. Jason: What happened to Sandwitcha? Zack: She moved to Oklahoma to start a farm. Trini: I don't believe these writers. Billy: Odd, I wonder what happened to the beetle in the other flyer is missing. Jason: Maybe Bread turned it into a monster. Trini: Our lives must be real pathetic when the first thing that pops in our mind is "Bread turned it into a monster." Billy: Let's just forget all about it and get back to work. After all, Tommy and Kimberly will act as shock absorbers and take the ass-kicking's we're slated to receive when all I do is stay nice and comfy in my suit and think up a plan to flunk at saving Tommy's neck. But I guess I'm forseeing way too far in the future. So guys, I think we should... We pull-out to see Billy noticing the rangers have already left him alone to go practice. Billy: Thanks a lot, guys! Wait up! Billy runs off. SCENE VI: Tommy and Kimberly are walking side-by-side while chattering about meaningless nothingness. Tommy: Yeah, that's great, Kim. Hey, I'm in the mood for another lame Muddy fight. Kimberly: That's great, because that's why we're in our unusually predictable walking position. God this show is so lame. Here we go. A bunch of Muddies show up. Kimberly: Oh no! Muddies! They engage in a big fight. Kimberly: They just don't seem to quit! Tommy: Ya know, is that all you can say? That's all you ever say when we get in these fights. Kimberly: I'm an airhead. What do you expect? BeetleJuice appears. BeetleJuice: Hahahahaha!! Hello! I'm here to pay you a visit, you worthless lamers! Tommy: His shreaking voice is piercing threw my brain! Kimberly: We better morph, and now!! Kimberly: Pterydorky Tommy: DragonFly Tommy: How do you like a taste of my fist, whistle-throat? BeetleJuice: Oh don't worry, readers--this won't take long. BeetleJuice grabs Tommy and throws him sky-high until he falls 50 feet onto another drive of the grass. BeetleJuice rapidly runs towards Tommy before he's able to get up and smacks his head-helmet back onto the ground and begins repeatedly punching and smacking him a couple of times. Tommy: Aww man!! Get off of me!! BeetleJuice: Had enough? Tommy: SEET-EEEYA!! Tommy gets up and smacks BeetleJuice in the mouth. BeetleJuice: I didn't like that! You're gonna pay for this, Green Vomit Face! Muddies, attack! Kimberly: Hah! HEE-YA!! Kimberly sommersalts away 3 muddies then backflips and swiftly brushes her leg against two muddies and they fall down. Kimberly: I wish they'd expose their nuts! Tommy: You're threw, marshmellow-brains! BeetleJuice: I'm just gettin' started, Green Chili Rot-Face! BeetleJuice sucks away gobs and gobs of Tommy's power until it's all gone. BeetleJuice: Operation: Success!! Hahahahahaha!! How do you feel now, Green Ranger? Now--you're just in an itchy, hot, smelly spandex-suit with no powers! Eat my dust and get out of my face! Hahahahahaha!! Your next, Pink Dink Ranger! Kimberly: Oooo. Zordon, we really need help. Zordon: I understand the situation. I will alert the rangers. If I can get to them. They goof off too much. Kimberly: Whatever, we're getting our bottoms kicked! Tommy, I'm so sorry. You need help! Tommy: Gee, you noticed? Get me some help!! Ahhh!! This sticks! SCENE VII: The remaining rangers are paged. Jason: Yeah? Zordon: Did you know that Pizza was made in China and not in Italy? Zack: Uhhhhh... This is supposed to mean something, right? Zordon: Nahh, I was just goin' threw my fascinating fact book again. Bye. Trini: Zordon, get back here! Zordon: What??!? Trini: Something's wrong. Now what is it? Zordon: Ummmm, beats me. Alpha: I must compensate for Zordon's idiotic brain-transplant behavior. Lord Bread has finally done it--he's robbed Green Ranger of his powers. All Rangers: Alpha: But the good news is he's okay. All Rangers: Ahhh. Alpha: But the bad news is Kimberly and Tommy both got kicked in the mouth by two dozen muddies. All Rangers: Alpha: Well? What are you gonna do about it? Jason: Beats me. Do I look like the Albert Einstein here? Billy: Aww great. You morons want me to fix something again, right? Zack: That was the plan. Trini: I got a better idea. Okay, here's the plan: we leave Tommy behind and get Kimberly home. Billy: And then what? Trini: That was the plan. Jason bops Trini on the head. Trini: Oww!! Jason: That's the most STUPID plan I've ever heard. Listen, Tommy needs our help. So let's pretend like we'll actually save him when he'll end up saving his own neck and ours all at once in the end. Are you with me? Zack: Sure, why not. The only way to get a part in this lousy episode. Jason: IT'S MORPHIN' TIME! Zack: Majormess Billy: Tribladdertops Trini: Sabretoothed-Alley Cat Jason: Trashosaurus The rangers instantaneously teleport to the site where Kimberly's nursing Tommy back to health--she's seen scooping chicken soup into his mouth. Kimberly: Alright now, Tommy-poo. Everything's gunna be okay. Tommy: That's ENOUGH, Kim; we're on camera now. Kimberly: Oh right. HEY RANGERS! OVER HERE! Jason: There you are! Hiya! Trini: Howdy. How's it been? Kimberly: Does this look like the time for chit-chat to you? Jason: I guess not. Hey Tom, feeling okay? Tommy: What do you think? Jason: Great. UH OH! MUDDIES!! LET'S DO IT! The rangers charge after the swarm of combating Muddies. BeetleJuice: Hello, Red Ranger! I'm so GLAD you came! Jason: Well we're not glad to see you, dung-brain. BeetleJuice: I'm gonna drain the rest of you just like I did Tommy! But first, I'm gonna go on a power-spree! WITH TOMMY'S POWER! HAHAHAHA!! TAKE THIS, RANGERS! He begins tossing 15 volts of explosive energy at the rangers and they all jump up in the air and fall down again in a giant explosion. All: UGHN!! Jason: You better cut it out before I maul your ugly little ass up! BeetleJuice: Shut up. Take a little bit of this, hahahahahaha!! What's the matter, sissy rangers? Can't take the heat?!?! HAHAHAHA!! Zack: Aww man, you're gonna get it now, stew-brains! Jason: No, Zack! That's dangerous! Trini: GO ZACK! Billy: Trini!! Zack charges after BeetleJuice in the air with his blade blaster and BeetleJuice catches him in the air and throws him to the ground and begins incessantly pounding him when we rapidly pan over to the other rangers watching this brutality. Zack (off screen): Oh!! No! Please, no!! Get off!! Ahgh!! Jason: Ooo! It's gonna take 20 stitches to get out that pain. Billy: What are we gonna do! Kimberly: We need to regroup. Zack!! Over here! Zack: I can't feel my legs! BeetleJuice prepares to take another smack at Zack when he stops his fist. Zack: HOLD IT!!!! This is startin' ta hurt! BeetleJuice: That's the idea, twerp. BeetleJuice takes another smack at Zack. Jason: Take your hands off of him, you over-grown gob of phlehm! Jason whips out his blade blaster and fires at BeetleJuice and he trips over and the other rangers run to Zack's side. Zack: Thanks, bro! Jason: I ain't your brother, spider-head. Zack: I need medical attention, quickly! Kimberly: Is there a doctor in the house? Billy: I'm a doctor! Trini: Billy begins grabbing Zack's appendages and twisting them around to unfold his cracked body. Zack: Aww that feels better. Billy: Tommy? Tommy is spilled on the ground unconscious. Jason: We better teleport to the command center. Billy: Right! The rangers teleport. SCENE VIII: They teleport to the command center with Zack and Tommy all beat out. Zordon: Hey, what happened to them? Billy: They tried to be the hero. Alpha: Tommy is just plain worthless. Gimme your suit, Tommy. Tommy: I'm not wearing anything under it. I can't do that. Alpha: Doah alright. Trini: I DON'T think that was the solution. Aren't we supposed to at least try to get his powers back? Billy: Yeah, we could do that. Trini: Well? Billy: Oh. Hehehehe, you're serious. Okay. Jason: I want a piece of that beetle, Zordon. Zordon: Then what are you talking to me for? Kimberly: We nearly died in that battle, Jason. I'm not willing to take another suicidal chance like that again. Jason: Nonesense. You just don't know how to take pressure. I'm gonna chew that moth up and spit him out like Tobacco-chew. Billy: The BeetleJuice monster is using what in Lamens term would be called: The Credit Card Conspiracy. Just like the typical unscrupulous thug on the street, if one were to be left with a rich man's credit card illegally--they'd have a party--with their money. Kimberly: You mean like when someone nabs your charge card and charges it passed the limit and then runs with their money? Billy: Exactly. BeetleJuice yanked Tommy's power and is holding it himself--and during that battle we just did, he used up approximately 49% of Tommy's power--hence leading us closer to the end of this dreaded "Tommy loses his powers" soap-opera. Tommy: Yeah, but what does this mean? Billy: If you haven't gotten in by now... Kimberly: Can't you do something? Billy: I could try. But I surely won't try my hardest. Alpha: Why not? Billy: Because it's in the script for me to be unusually incompetant this episode and be only able to ressurect 29% of Tommy's power using this invention that just miraculously popped into my mind. Jason: Listen, nerd; we don't have all the time in the world for your intellectual giberash. Just make our machine, and we'll be on our way. Billy: Alpha, I just wrote down how to construct this machine. Go make it, I gotta go fight off that monster. Alpha: Right! Tommy: Don't expect any feelings of reliability from me. I've been screwed to the wall way too many times with my power. Just go out there and show me your futile attempts. And in 15 minutes, I'll go out there and save my own butt again and yours' too. Jason: Excuse me, ungrateful. IT'S BACK TO ACTION! SCENE IX: The rangers fly in the sky in their ninja like introduction and prepare to fight BeetleJuice again. Jason: Before we begin, I'd like to request you close your mouth. That voice of yours irritates me. BeetleJuice: Lick my ass! So I see you came back for more? When are you gonna give it up, rangers?!?! I'M GONNA EAT YOU FOR BREAKFAST! Hahahahahahah!! Billy: Jason! We can't destroy him, when he goes--so will Tommy's power! Jason: What do we do then? Kimberly: Fight him? Trini: What's that gonna prove? Kimberly: Well, it'll have action? Zack: Alright. The rangers and BeetleJuice fight and BeetleJuice picks them off one by one. BeetleJuice: You Fruit-Loop colored drips are pathetic! Gimme a real challenge! Trini: We can't let him keep draining Tommy's power! We HAVE to get out of here! Jason: I agree. The rangers begin running away from BeetleJuice as he keeps throwing explosive bolts at the rangers, blowing them up. ======================= Lord Bread: YES!! This is GLORIOUS!! Any minute now, Tommy will be as useless to the rangers as Billy! Hahahahaha!! Baboo: I like his style. Squatt: Better than Rita's! Goldar: You kiss-ass's. Baboo: Please don't fax that to Rita. Squatt: Yeah! Goldar: Why don't you go away? Your sucking-up is beginning to become irritating! SCENE X: BeetleJuice: It's only a matter of time before I destroy you now, Rangers! Jason: Get off it, you broken record! Billy: Oh NO!! Dead end! What do we do now, Jason!?!? Jason: Dahhuhhh!!! Tommy shows up from out of no where with that machine that looks like a giant TV antennae. Tommy: You leave my friends alone before I play kickball with your brains! BeetleJuice: So, it's the former Green Ranger. Tommy: It's around now I get back what's mine, theif! Tommy snatches back his Green Ranger powers from out of BeetleJuice. BeetleJuice: What's this!?!? This isn't how it's supposed to work!! You're gonna pay for this! Jason: Let's kick him while he's down, rangers! Are you with me!? All: YEAH! Jason: Let's assemble the Mega-Spitter! Zack: Power Axe! Kimberly: Power Bow! Trini: Power Daggers! Billy: Power Lance! Jason: Power Sword! Their weapons formulate the Mega-Spitter who fires laser-spit. BeetleJuice: You can't do this to me!! *I* was winning! Jason: Let's finish this creep! SCENE XI: Lord Bread: This situation is growing to become intensely embarressing! I'm tired of this!! Let's turn up the heat! GROW, BEETLEJUICE!! GROW!! Lord Bread throws down his banana peeling. SCENE XII: Tommy: Aww man! Jason: TIME FOR BLUNDERZORD POWER! Zack: Majormess-Cowardly Lion BlunderZord Power! Kimberly: Pterydorky-TiredBird BlunderZord power! Billy: Tribladdertops-Acorn BlunderZord power! Trini: Sabretoothed-Alley Cat-Lipton Tea BlunderZord Power! Jason: Trashosaurus Red-Dragon Liver BlunderZord Power! While the zords are charging to form the BlunderHeapaJunkaMegaZord... Billy: Can this be like the 4th time we played this lousy "Go Go, Pathetic Rangers" theme song? Jason: Shut up, Bill. ALRIGHT! LET'S DO IT! They all jump up into the zord. All: PATHETIC RANGERS! BeetleJuice: Are ya ready to rock?!?! Hahahahahaha!! BeetleJuice jumps the zord before they're able to do anything. The rangers begin tossing left and right in the zord while electrical sparks are flying everywhere and Zack falls on top of Billy. Billy: Get.... off... me!! Zack!! Jason: I don't understand! We didn't get a fighting chance! BeetleJuice: Now it's time to ring in the new year! HAhahahaha! BeetleJuice begins relentlessly throwing explosive bolts at the zord and it loses balance and eventually falls to the ground. Trini: We have to get up! Jason: I can't! The controls are malfunctioning! Kimberly: I wonder who fashions this cheap zord anyway! Jason: The Half-Assed Way to Fight a Monster Co. Zack: We gotta get off the ground! BeetleJuice: Hahahahahaha!! Taking a little snooze rangers? Well wake up! BeetleJuice slams his foot up BlunderHeapaJunkaMegaZord's face and more explosions appear until the zord is nearly totalled. Billy: We can't take another hit like that! Jason: We better get the Blunder-Savor! BlunderHeapaJunkaMegaZord gets up miraculously and whips out the sword and uses the BlunderSavor to finish off BeetleJuice. All Rangers: YEAH!! SCENE XIII: Baboo: Oh my! What an explosion. You could just feel that exciting moment. That big KA-BOOM! The moment in which your long-time worked plan went down the TOILET. Yes siree, what an explosion--completely wasted monster. Yes siree, you failed like a mad dog! This plan went up in smoke... Lord Bread: SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Squatt: Baboo, you stupid idiot! Baboo: But what did I do? Goldar: I'm sorry your plan failed, master! Lord Bread: My plan did NOT fail! You messed it up! Yes, that's right. You're all but a bunch of stupid, incompetant nincompoops. You worthless MORONS! You jinxes. Get out of my way!! One day--you rangers will be made to pay and you will NOT be so lucky! SCENE XIV: At the Junk Food Bar... Bulk and Skull barge in. Kimberly: Now what do you want? Can't you see we're in the middle of a game? Skull: We are on a very TOP secret mission to find the true identities of... Bulk and Skull: THE PATHETIC RANGERS! Kimberly: Leave me alone, please. Bulk and Skull place ski-masks on and black gloves and start going after customers of the Junk Food Bar. Bulk grabs one teenage girl. Bulk: Hey Bitch! Are you a Pathetic Ranger!?!? Teenager: What? Skull: You heard him! Are you a Pathetic Ranger!??! Teenager: I don't know what you're talking about, you need help. Bulk: Get back here! I'm not done with you! Teenager: Leave me a-lone!!! HELP!! POLICE!! Bulk: ARE YOU A PATHETIC RANGER!?!? Skull: Tell us!! Teenager: Please no!! I'm not! Leave me alone!! Help me!! Let me go! Your hurting me! Skull grabs the teenager's legs and she falls on the floor and Bulk and Skull are dragging her. Bulk: You better tell me if you're a Pathetic Ranger! Teenager: Please no! Stop harrassing me! Ernie: Hey you two! Stop harrassing my customers. If I catch you doing another hairbrained thing like this again, I'll have you thrown in the cooler. Got it?!?!? Bulk: We'll deal with you later--Pink Ranger. Teenager: Back in the Sweep-Soccer competition, these "champs"--the rich snobs--take the rangers on and are easily beaten because they're letting the rangers win--as usual. Jason: I told you I'd kick your face in. Now I don't wanna see your ugly puss up in my nose again. Got it, stretch-nose? Male Rich Braggart: Yeah, you won for now. But this isn't over. Kimberly: Yes!! Tommy, Jason; you were great! Angel Grave won! Billy: Yeah--by only one point. If you dweebs had've let me play, we would've had 16 agains 4. Jason: No nerds allowed. Afterall, you're the one who blacklisted our team in the first place. Tommy: Would everyone just shut up for a minute? This is my moment. Kimberly: Aww no. Tommy: Yeah--you're gonna listen to it anyway. My powers--I'll only be a ranger for so long. Man, Bread's had it in for me from the get go. Jason (insincerely): No Tommy, as long as you're our friend you're still a ranger, blah, blah, blah. Happy? Tommy: Yeah, I guess so. THE END (C) 1995 Artist Bros. Enterprises NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS... Trini is bribed into taking her whimpy, annoying and disgusting stand-in for Sylvia neice named Happy, uh I mean hmmm, Halle... Halle: Trini, when are we gonna have fun? All we've done is go swimming, make sandcastles, meet new guys, eat best-cooked hot-dogs and that's it! I'm tired! Trini: Gee, I'd hit you if you weren't family. So shut up and enjoy the trip. ...Meanwhile, a usually upset Lord Bread sends Goldar to kidnap The rangers, but Goldar gets the girl Halle! Goldar: ...I'm going to kidnap Halle in the most ruthless, evil, vicious, most violent way! ...upset that Goldar made a blunder (again), Lord Bread sends down the Abominable Motor-Mouth (who sounds like a messed up Woody Allen) to antagonize the rangers with his horrid tales of his childhood miseries! TAMM: Let me tell you about the time when my pet hamster died. Oh boy, what that a killer. We played with him all day long, of course, except when I had to have my daily weed killer check-up appointment. See since I was always working in the yard I have to occationally spray my garden with highly-toxic weed killer. That reminds me of an awful time when my Uncle Louis accidently sprayed himself with the stuff and it was just simply horrifying how his... ZZZ.... ZZZ..... ZZZ.... (Director: You're supposed to be saying your lines) Oh, oh yeah, yeah! Hmm, Can the Rangers defeat The Abominable Motor-Mouth and put a lock on his mouth? Will the motormouth talk the rangers into shock before they can achieve that? Will anybody care about Halle, who's cooking on a hot grill? Is Tommy headed for the big one, or are they going to drag it out again? Have you already fallen asleep from reading this preview like *I* did? Find out on the NEXT Episode of the Pathetic Rangers!