Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "The Ninja Disaster, Part III" Parody of, "The Ninja Encounter, Part III" LAST TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS: Lord Bread got his metal undies in a tizzy and decided to bug Angel Grave again... Lord Bread: Hmmm, tournament, aye? Well I'll fix it so that their tournament will be a NIGHTMARE. I'll plant three fake ninjas to kidnap those nitwit teenagers and turn them into my DARK rangers! ...and that's just what he did. Things looked hopeless for the three annoyed teeangers... Goldar: Yeah, we're gonna torment you by making you listen to whiney protest songs from the '60's until your brains grill into nothing. You'll be so annoyed you're gonna WANT to work for Bread! Hahahahaha! ...Lord Bread delt the Rangers a trouble that they couldn't withstand... Lord Bread: I SHALL NOW CALL UPON FLOWERFUNK! FlowerFunk: Hi there, rangers! Better get your nose clips because you're about to smell something REAAAAL BAD! HAHAHAHA!!! Billy: Gee, it's times like this I really loath the changing of my zord. Black Ranger: Why? Billy: Why? Because Tribladdertops smells like urine, if my Acorn BlunderZord also smelled like it, he could repel this stupid monster. Now, we're defenseless against his funk. Red Ranger: I can take him! Aye ya!!!!! Red Ranger goes after him and returns fainting. Billy: Gee, Trini's lasted longer than that... ...over cocky Jason, Trini and Zack wanted to collect the most of the fame by withstanding FlowerFunk's smell, and they did.... But it had dangerous side-effects... Billy: Either they've been frozen, or they're trying to do the Vogue. Kimberly: Apparently, the smell was so horrible, it completely locked up their bodily functions, therefore, we have to find an antidote for the stinch to get them loose. Can the rangers un-freeze Zack, Trini and Jason? Or was Zack squeezing Trini's butt pretending to be frozen just to get to do something he knew would earn him a good slap on the cheek? Will Aisha think of a plan and execute it without doing something stupid? Are the three teens going to be Lord Bread's dark rangers? Can the rangers save them? Do they see it necessary? Am I asking too many questions? Find on the conclusion of "The Ninja Disaster" on the Pathetic Rangers, NEXT! SCENE I: In the command center... Billy is typing away at the command center keys with a smoking cigarrette in his mouth. Kimberly: You don't smoke, Billy... Billy: I know... Tommy: What's the matter with you? Billy: MEE?!? GOD!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE!?!? IT'S OVER!! WE'RE DOOMED, DON'T LET 'EM TAKE ME! NO!! I AM NOT GOING DOWN!!! Billy begins acting nervously crazy when Tommy grabs him. Tommy: Pull yourself together, dude. Sheesh... Billy: Can't you see? We're not going to make it... Kimberly: Yes we will, this is not the last episode... Zordon: Of course not. Otherwise, it would be a mushy, yucky, one-hour-each seven parter. Billy: Uhhhhh.... Kimberly: Now that's it, just give me the cigarette. Kimberly swips the cigarrette from out of Billy's hands and puts it out on Alpha's head. Alpha: HEY! I am not a butt tray. Kimberly: Stop whining, we gotta do something. Billy: Well, Zordon? Don't you have one of those neato, exotic antidotes you tell us about? Zordon: I didn't bring it. It looks like you're just gonna have to make one. Billy: Oh boy. Kimberly: Yippy. Tommy: Hoorah. Kimberly: Smelling salts, that should work. Billy: Go for it, sugar buns. Kimberly: Oooo, you make me feel all tingly inside. Tommy: Uhhh, some kids might be watching and eating. Billy: Let 'em watch. Billy and Kimberly, with their helmets off, start to approach each other for a make-out kiss when Tommy comes between them. Tommy: Break it up, you two sick love-birds. Now get the smelling salts. Kimberly: That would be great, but we don't have any. Billy: We're apparently just gonna have to get them. Tommy: We always get the fun jobs. SCENE II: Lord Bread: I have the rangers' fate in the palms of my hands. Goldar: How? The rangers aren't even in action yet. Lord Bread: And they won't be; because as long as my monster has them fleeing in fear, they won't want to come out! Goldar: I sure hope you're right. Lord Bread: You bet your gross I am. Afterall, only 10 minutes left until that annoying guitar player turns those little brats into my dark rangers! Hahahaha, it's all been gift wrapped! Goldar: Whatever you say, master--whatever you say. SCENE III: In the dungeon... Hippy (singing): C'mon people now, grab your brother, everybody get together, try to loath one another right now... Rocky: I swear to god If I hear one more of his songs, I am going to crack!! Aisha: Good, because we've got 20 more parody minutes before we're finally saved. Adam: Well I wish they'd hurry it up, because I gotta go to the bathroom REALLY, really REALLY bad!! Mr. Dweeb: But if Jacob is... Aisha: Jacob, schmacob; I warned you I'd pull down your shorts if you didn't be quiet. Mr. Dweeb: But he's my only son. If I lose him, I'll be hurt, terrified, devastated. Aisha: Yeah, it's kinda like breast reduction for Dolly Parton. Mr. Dweeb: Yeah... Rocky: Well just cut it down to an insignificant peep, because I'm trying to rack my brains to get outta here. Hippy: [singing James Taylor's "You've Got a Friend" song] ....and you just call on my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running, to see you again. So, in the Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall, all you gotta do is call, and I'll be there, yeah, you've got a friend... Adam: Whoa, he's a voice chameloan too! I hate James Taylor, I'd like to get his address and send him a stampede of elephants. Aisha: I feel really weak, and I have a headache. Rocky: This is it, I never knew my talents would be used for evil. Adam: I did--unless evil isn't pinching girls' boodies and then telling them you're a martial art genius. Aisha: You guys are pathetic; stealing scene space just to complain. My shoes are uncomfortable, this is the only time I've worn something more than once. Mr. Dweeb: Aww, c'mon! Everything will be aye okay. I just know it! Aisha: Would you PLEASE shut up!?!? You can look at the bright side of a train wreck! Rocky: Ugh. You'll be the death of the act. SCENE IV: At the park, Tommy, Kimberly and Billy run up to Red, Black and Yellow Ranger, who are frozen in a different position by the tree. Billy: I thought...oh nevermind--put these three on the dolly and roll 'em outta here. Tommy: Cool plan, but what are we going to do about that Muddy that's going knock your block off? Billy: What muddy? COO! Billy gets punched into the tree and knocks the frozen Yellow Ranger over. Yellow Ranger assumes another position. Billy: Oh, now I saw that! Kimberly: (Ahugha!) Forget about them, they can't act! Let's get outta here. FlowerFunk: Not so fast, Super-Twits! The rangers slowly move away. FlowerFunk: What are you doing? Kimberly: Going slow. FlowerFunk: Why? Kimberly: Because you told us not to go so fast. FlowerFunk: That's not what I meant, Weenie Ranger. Tommy: That's Pathetic Ranger to you, sissy-face. FlowerFunk: You're ruining my scene. We're doing more talking then fighting. Billy: What could better? FlowerFunk: Serving your liver to you. Billy: On second thought... Tommy: Casaba, I call on the power of your might. Kimberly: Hmm. Casaba jetisons itself into the air, opens it mouth and red laser light burn off the edges. FlowerFunk: I was just kidding. Kimberly: This isn't working. This plot is running out of gas and creativity, what are we going to do? Billy: The only thing we can do when we run out of names to call the monsters... SCENE V: Bulk and Skull are trying to take care of Mr. Dweeb's Jacob. Bulk: God, he still won't stop crying. Skull: Let's face it Bulk, this is one real unhappy baby. Bulk: [Sniff sniff] Do you smell something, Skull? Skull: Yeah, have you been skipping showers again? Bulk: No, it smells like... Both: POOOOOOOOOOP!!!! Skull: Well gee, I hear my mother calling, so... Bulk: Get back here! I'm not going to die alone. Skull: Why do I have to wipe up the baby? Bulk: I don't know, but you're the one who fed him all that junk. Skull: Uh uh, I simply told you what I have to eat; and you told me to give it to him. Bulk: Well, who's gonna change his diaper? Skull: Not me. Bulk: Oh yes you are. Alright, alright, let's just take it one itty bitty step at a time. Skull: Alright. Bulk: Skull, take off, the stink bomb. Skull: Alright. Skull unzips the baby's diaper and makes a sour face in disgust after smelling the dirty diaper. He holds the diaper with the tip of his two fingers. Bulk: Okay, now clean it up... Skull: Auugh!! Bulk: Alright, we'll rely on TV time. Skull: What's that? Bulk: Well you know: put on some lame 50's song record, and we dissolve to several pictures of us doing different things making it look like we've been working. Skull: Oh finally, the easiest part of doing this episode. Bulk: Yeah, let's do it. After a long, boring 50's record going while Bulk and Skull are changing the baby, they keep messing up and not putting the diaper on right. After using up 200 diapers, Skull finally uses his scarf to wrap up the baby's crotch. Bulk: Ahhh, finally, so the nightmare ends. Skull: Hey, do ya hear that? He's not crying. Bulk: What a hero I am. Skull: You? It was me that... Bulk: No nononono, fathead, I made him the... Skull: If it wasn't for... Jacob begins crying again. Bulk: Oh no!!! Quick! Sstick a bottle in his mouth!! A prop man's hairy hand hands Skull a baby bottle. Skull: Thanks, prop man. Skull sticks the bottle in Jacob's mouth and he sucks at the milk until he goes to sleep. Bulk: Uhhhgh. SCENE VI: In the park... Kimberly: I found the smelling salts! Billy: Great, let's get them back to the command center. Tommy: Right!! ==== Goldar: Uhhh, Bread, I think they're hatching a plan that we don't know about. Lord Bread: IMPOSSIBLE! I HAVE THOSE STUPID RANGERS ON WATCH 24 HOURS A DAY!! Goldar: Yeah, that's why Mr. Blackwell rendered you not only a fashion statement insult, but a very lifeless lamer. Lord Bread: WHAT?!?!!? Goldar: He said it, not me. Lord Bread: Oooo!! I'm steamin' mad now!! FLOWERFUNK! HOW COME YOU HAVEN'T RIDDEN ME OF THE PATHETIC RANGERS YET?!?!? FlowerFunk: I don't know what they're doin'. They seem to be cookin' up something that I don't think I'm gonna like. Lord Bread: This stalemate is making me furious!!! Switch scenes before I explode!!! Goldar: Right away, your explosion means our meat mess all over the walls. Lord Bread: Hmmmm!!! You leech! We take a shot of Lord Bread slapping Goldar's off-screen face. SCENE VII: In the command center... Yellow, Black and Red Ranger have changed positions--again. Billy: Ya knows, this is really starting to miff me and doubt my sanity. Tommy: I would've 9 months ago if I were you. Billy: Quit with the snide comments. It's immature and time draining, scrambled egg brain. Kimberly: Well, I'm going to get the rangers back on their feet. Kimberly lifts the smelling salts bottle up to the three frozen rangers and not too much later, they rapidly return to their unfrozen selves. Red Ranger: Hey, thanks. Kimberly: A little sudden, don'tcha think? Black Ranger: Nah. Yellow Ranger: I could've sworn that you squeezed my butt while we were frozen. Black Ranger: I know, I really wasn't frozen. Yellow Ranger: You pig!!! Get outta my face! Black Ranger: Why do these two characters always have to snipe at each other? Yellow Ranger: Yeah. Why can't we just get along and play games? Billy: Because it's funny. Now shut up. After all, you're only suppose to speak for only so long. Tommy: Well now that you're back together again, let's destroy this stupid monster before he reigns his terror any further. Red Ranger: Right! Let's get back to action! SCENE VIII: Flowerfunk notices that Red, Black and Yellow Ranger are un-frozen. FlowerFunk (nervously): Well, hehehehehe, you got them free, well, I'm gonna destroy you, ahehehehehe. Tommy: Denial, the first sign of a washed up monster. You're smells are not match for us!! [Quietly] Now don't mess up this time, Jason. Red Ranger: No problem, I can take 'em! Tommy: HOLD IT!!!! Lord Bread: I'm gonna make him grow and make his funk ten times worse than it already is! Take that, Pathetic Losers! Jason: We need BlunderZord power now! Zack: Majormess-Cowardly Lion BlunderZord Power is what I want! heh-heh Kimberly: Pterydorky-TiredBird BlunderZord power! Billy: Tribladdertops-Acorn BlunderZord power! Trini: Sabretoothed-Alley Cat-Lipton Tea BlunderZord Power! Jason: Trashosaurus-Red Dragon Liver BlunderZord power! The rangers meld together their zords. FlowerFunk: Very impressive show, got a side-show? Tommy: Yeah! It's called CIDERZORD power!! Deadpan Singers: Go, white, ranger... Go...[echo] They all team up to destroy the monster, and that's just what they do after MegaHeapaJunkaMegaZord gets his sword. FlowerFunk: No! No!! You can't do this to me! Tommy: Wanna bet? Let's kick some stinch! Red Ranger: I'm gonna enjoy this! They take the sword and slashes away FlowerFunk until he blows up because of an over accumulated amount of stinch. Tommy: Well, let's go home now. Billy: Gee, it's just odd, there seems to be something missing, I know there's something we've forgotten. Kimberly: Hmmmm.... Yellow Ranger: SAVE ROCKY, ADAM AND AISHA!!! Tommy: We already knew that, we just don't wanna save 'em. Billy: Well, if you are equipt with the function to recall anything, Zordon said that if we don't save them, we'll have more problems, and I'm already tired from withstanding that smelly funk. Tommy: Alright, let's do it! SCENE IX: All six go after the cave to rescue Adam, Rocky and Aisha and are met with muddies. Billy: Aww damm! Can't he make it easy?!?!! Goldar: No way! There's no way you're getting to them before the spell is over!!! Tommy jams his fist up Goldar's stomach. Goldar: Okay, I gotta go, I think I need first aid... Tommy: Sissy. Come on, muddies. Make my day... Black Ranger: Ha! Caught stealing lines from Clint Eastwood! Billy: Tattletale. Aren't you a little old for that? Black Ranger: I can tattle whenever I want. Billy: Oh gawd!! They battle the muddies for a real long time. Kimberly: This isn't working! Billy, you go save Adam, Rocky and Aisha, I've got my hands full. Billy: Not with Jason, I hope. Kimberly: Oh good grief, free the teens. Billy: Right! Blue Ranger runs into the cave to save the three shackled teens and Mr. Dweeb. Rocky: Oh finally, what took you so long? Aisha: Yeah? Adam: I nearly peed on myself. Billy: Maybe I'll just be on my way, see ya... Rocky: No wait! We're grateful. Billy: Good. Rocky: NOT! Billy: Alright, you're free, now BEAT it. Mr. Dweeb: What about me? Billy looks at Mr. Dweeb standing naked, save his blue-striped boxer shorts and black socks. Billy: Whoa, talk about knobby knees. By the way, what's the horrible noise? Aisha: Our friend. Hippy (singing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"): ...Momma, ooo ooo eee ooo, I don't wanna die, just sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all..... Adam: You can't imagine the torture we've endured. Billy: Well, you're free now, I guess I'll go free Mr. Dweeb. Mr. Dweeb: Oh thank you. Billy: But you have to tell me that I am your eternal master, you love me with all your heart, I am god, and you mean the world to me.. Mr. Dweeb: But I tell Jacob that everyday. Billy: SAY IT. Mr. Dweeb: Alright, you're my eternal master, I love you with all my heart, you are god and you mean the world to me. Billy: I'll think about it. Mr. Dweeb: Hey!!! Billy: Alright. Billy unshackles Mr. Dweeb and he runs away. Mr. Dweeb: Ooo, now to find me some pants! Mr. Dweeb runs out of the cave in a huge hurry when Yellow Ranger is standing there and stops him. Mr. Dweeb: Hey, listen--I don't have any Skittles on me right now, but I've got to hurry and get my pants. Yellow Ranger: I'm not Trick-Or-Treat'ing, Mr. Dweeb, sir. I'm trying to get you to safety. Mr. Dweeb: But you don't understand, if any cops are... uh oh. A black & white police car drives by the park and the cop inside sees him. Cop: Uh oh, some freak thinks he's gettin' cute. Let's bring him in and see what his story is. Mr. Dweeb: Oh no, thanks a lot, Yellow tramp. Yellow Ranger: But.. but... oh darn. My big rescue scene -- down the drain. ===== Billy: Alright you three, hurry! You've only got seconds left!! HUH? The Hippy ends his final song and then molecularly transforms into a slimy, green devil with green eyes and a skinny long red tongue and his guitar becomes an evil snake that wraps itself around Billy. Billy: Ugh! Ugh! Gotta get it loose! Help me! Adam, Rocky and Aisha, slowly, but nervously, back away, still facing Billy. Adam: See ya! Rocky: Bye! The trio run for their lives tripping over each other. Billy: Wait! Come back! I... The evil devil-hippy slowly approaches Billy. Hippy (burly evil voice): I'm glad you enjoyed the show, haw haw haw! The Hippy fizzes away. ===== Meanwhile, Kimberly and the others are still fighting the muddies outside the cave where Billy's getting drained by the viper snake. Kimberly: Billy, are you okay in there? Kimberly hears screaming and yelling emitting from Billy in the cave. Kimberly: Thought so. Thanks, Billy. Black Ranger: He doesn't sound alright. Red Ranger: Well he could simply just zap the snake and... COOO!!! The muddie slams his iron-hard fist up Red Ranger's stomach. Red Ranger: I think maybe I'll call my chiropractor. Kimberly: Oh my god, I think he's dying! Tommy: Oh puh-leeze. And even if he was, who gives a damn? Kimberly: I do! C'mon, Tommy. Tommy: Hey! Man, why do I have to be involved?! They run into the cave where Billy is rolling around on the ground reeling in pain as the snake slithers around his body. Billy: This is it, do your worst Big-G! Billy raises his hands to the air signifying god as Kimberly runs in. Billy: Took you long enough, sheesh. [Big Gasps] I can't breathe in here. Tommy: I wanted to make you sweat a little. Hehehehehe. Kimberly: Oh boy, he looks awful! Adam walks back into the cave with Rocky and Aisha behind him. Adam: Hey look, I forgot to get my black belt, could I just get that? Tommy: Oh no!!!! Kimberly {Distracted with Dying Billy}: We have to get his helmet off! Tommy: Why?! Kimberly: I dunno. Tommy: So we're just gonna blow our secret for nothing when we could just go teleport to the command center and take care of everything there? Kimberly: Gee, I never thought of that. Boy what a stupid episode this is. Tommy: Oh brother. Billy: I did warn you this was a pathetic excuse of an episode in part one. Tommy: Oh well. They take off Billy's helmet and Aisha, Adam and Rocky awe in amazement. Aisha: Billy? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy: HEY! What's so FUNNY? Rocky: C'mon, really... is this a halloween costume? Billy: NO! I >AM< The BLUE RANGER! Aisha: I'm shocked. Adam: Oh my god. Billy lowers his head in disgrace and there is a long pause when Billy lifts his head and pans it over to Kimberly and Tommy, who have their helmets on. Billy: Well? Tommy: Hey, I'm not revealing who I am because of your stupid blunder. Billy, out of pure mad rage, grabs Tommy's helmet, unhooks the latches and yanks it off and does the same with Kimberly. Kimberly: Hey, I...! Adam: Kimberly? Tommy? Rocky: Whoa, Kimberly! Pink Ranger is my new hero. Kimberly: I'm taken, and I have a blade blaster. Rocky: It's okay, babe, you don't have to get...sexy. Kimberly: This is just great. Tommy: Thanks a lot, Billy. Aisha: Wow! Like, do you know what this means? Adam: What? We finally cracked the secret of all time? Aisha: No, we own their life! If YOU don't want us to tell the world, you'll do what ever we so much as think! Hahahahaha. Tommy: Our new friend. Tee-hee. Rocky: Hey Bill, I want you to wax my car, clean out my garage, and have my house painted by next week. Tommy: Way to go. Aisha: This is great! Kimberly: We don't have to do jack crap for you. Aisha: I see me with my phone in my hands calling all my girlfriends..... Tommy: Alright! Alright! We'll do it! I'm never gonna forgive you for this, Billy. Billy: SCENE X: Returning with pants, Mr. Dweeb, exhausted from losing the police, runs up to Bulk and Skull, who've nursed his baby for the last three days. Mr. Dweeb: Oh my baby! Bulk: Hey looky here, you creep; what do you think you're doin' leaving your baby in a garbage can? Mr. Dweeb: It's a long story, thanks for saving my baby. Here's 20 dollars. Skull: Who-hoa! This long quest of torture actually paid off! Bulk: C'mon, let's blow it on a Super-Slushy at Ernie's! Skull: Yeah. SCENE XI: In the command center...Adam, Aisha and Rock are standing in front of the control consoles in front of Zordon, while the other six are unmorphed standing around. Zordon: GREAT! JUST GREAT! This is PEACHY, Blue Ranger. This is the STUPIDEST thing you have done in a LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, TIME! Billy: Here it comes.. Zordon: But I forgive you, I'm just going to have a nice little chat with your new friends. LISTEN UP, PUNKS! Adam: Talkin' to me? Zordon: No, I'm talking to Margaret Thatcher. Of COURSE I'm talkin' to you. You have to swear on your video games, your telephone, your mother's life, and your entire life that you won't reveal the identity of the Pathetic Rangers. Aisha: 'kay. Zordon: Ugh! Not, "'kay," you have to SWEAR! Adam: Alright, I won't tell the mutha-****king secret of who the ******tty-ass Pathetic Rangers are, alright, dip-**it? Zordon: I hate you guys. I didn't mean SWEAR. I mean, promise. I want you to repeat after me, I swear... All: I swear... Zordon: Upon my video games, and my entire life... All: Upon my video games, and my entire life... Zordon: That I will not... All: That I will not... Zordon: Reveal the true identities of the Pathetic Rangers... All: Reveal the true identities of the Pathetic Rangers... Zordon: Otherwise, I donate... All: Otherwise, I donate... Zordon: My entire life to Zordon, to destroy, to zap and to kill... All: My entire life to Zordon, to destroy, to zap and to kill. Huh? Oh no. Zordon: That's right, you break the word, I break your bones. Now get out. Adam: Nice speech, now if you will excuse me. We hear Adam running into the bathroom of the command center. Much later, a huge "Ah!" echos thoughout the command center as a toilet-flushing noise is heard. Adam: Finally, okay--later guys. They are teleported away. Zordon: As for the six of you, you'll be scrubbing every millimeter of this command center until your bones break. Tommy: I hate you, Billy. Billy: Yeah yeah, eat it. Alpha: Just before they went, I implanted a device in their brains that will give them a migrain headache to the twelth power if they feel the urge to squeal, and if they do; they'll be anihilated in the teleporter. Zordon: In that case, you idiots will be cleaning until it just aches to move any muscles of your body. SCENE XII: Goldar: Well, since I'm fresh outta ways to oppose your stupid plans, I'll simply say, I toldja so. Lord Bread: GET OUTTA MY FACE AND GO TO YOUR PAINROOM! ALL OF YOU!! Goldar: Yes, sir. Lord Bread: You may have gotten outta this you Pathetic Rangers, but you will not the next time! Goldar: They haven't gotten outta didley squat, they have to do slave labor for Zordon for busting their secret. Lord Bread: That's a nice fact to bask in, and DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO GO TO YOUR PAINROOM!?!?! Goldar: Yes, sir. Lord Bread: Back to the drawing board. SCENE XIII: Mr. Dweeb is holding Jacob in the park with Kimberly, Billy, Aisha, Tommy, Adam, Rocky, Bulk and Skull. Mr. Dweeb: I don't know how to thank you two. Skull: We deserve a major cash reward! Mr. Dweeb: I would, but I ran outta money. And for some odd reason, my wallet's missing. Adam: Uhhhhhh... Mr. Dweeb: When I do get money--do you wanna do it again!??! Bulk: Dahhh, uhhhh... Skull: No thanks. Billy (laughing in-sync with Rocky): Heheheheh... Billy feels Rocky's arm behind his pants while lifting his wallet. Billy: Hey!! That's my wallet!! Rocky: I know. I'm pretty sure you wanted to give me that money. Especially since the PATHETIC RANGERS saved us! In fact, it's the Blue Ranger, in which... Billy: Alright! Alright! You can keep my wallet, you little viper. But just remember that Zordon said that if at any time you squeal on the six of us, he was gunna fry your brains. Rocky passes Billy back his wallet. Billy: Oh thank you. They all resume laughing and then stop. And an odd silence hovers over the end of the show. Tommy: Hey, we still have time left. Let's laugh some'more. Everyone engages in a forced laugh until the show is over. THE END (C) 1994 Artist Bros. Enterprises NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS... Jason, Zack and Trini were fingered (without their knowledge) to be low-payed mascots in the country of Germany as a cheap ploy executed by the writers to write them out of the show! TV Man: Okay okay, ah hem, three teenagers have been chosen to alienate German children known as Hansel and Gretel as a metaphore for not encouraging bad eating in Germany as part of their mascoting for World Peace, and the Anti-Neo-Nazis Association. The three teenagers are... ...Jason Lee, Zack Taylor and Trini Quinn. ...believing Billy, Kimberly and Tommy are so idiotic to take him on without their three parting compadr‚s, Lord Bread (like 4,000,000,000,000 other sheepish citizens) buys cheap garbage, courtesy the Home Shopping Network to defeat the rangers... Lord Bread: Bring me my war machine SerpantSlinky. He's so skinny he can fit into a sucking straw, and I'll destroy the three weak rangers once and for all! ...in addition to his already stupid plan, Lord Bread has another plot going... Lord Bread: Get down on earth and release my crystal of stinch. I killed so many skunks and sucked out their odor and put it in the crystal, there's enough stink in there to put to sleep an Army! ...retrieving the MasterCard from a famous film director's statue has a great deal to do with how Zordon intends to replace Jason, Zack and Trini... Zordon: Another problem is that you must journey to Pluto and bring back the statue of Martin Scorsese to snatch the concrete MasterCard. Billy: Then what? We go on a rocket to no where and walk through fire? Alpha: He considered it, but he read up on it and found out that he doesn't have the funds for the rocket. Is this another two parter that will bore you like the last three-parter? Why do I bag on the show that I'm employed on? Did I inadvertadley give out the entire plot to the next episode? Will the rangers succeed in their plan? Or get creamed? Find out on the NEXT Episode of the Pathetic Rangers!