And now, another word from Billy: Billy: Uh hem, ummm, well, yesterday I told you all that this was an extremely violent episode, well, sort of, but you still didn't listen to me. And well, if you won't then, you probably won't now. ...Enjoy the show. Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "The Power Mastercard, Part II" Parody of, "The Power Transfer, Part II" LAST TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS: Trini, Jason and Zack were whapped on the head with a giant wooden club and were forced to poke fun at unhealthy German children, and dance naked on the golden paved streets of Germany to mascot for their peace program. TV Man: Okay, okay. Ah hem, three teenagers have been chosen to alienate German children known as Hansel and Gretel as a metaphore for not encouraging bad eating in Germany as part of their mascoting for World Peace, and the Anti-Nazis Association. ...Meanwhile, Lord Bread used SerpantSlinky to assist him in his evil plan to put everyone to sleep with his stinky aromas eminating from his crystal of stinch! Lord Bread: Hahahaha! ===== Zordon: I am saying that I must kidnap another batch of fresh meat, dah I mean, youthful, strong teenagers to stand in your place, but the only way is to use the Power MasterCard . . . you must call the number on the MasterCard, order two rings of power and transfer the power to three teenagers for which you OBVIOUSLY know who they are. . . Another problem is that you must journey to Pluto and bring back the statue of Martin Scorsese to snatch the concrete MasterCard. Well, that about sums up the story... So, Here's Part 2. SCENE I: Aisha, Adam and Rocky are sitting tied around a tree in the park while the Muddies are watching them. Aisha: Adam: Stop griping. Aisha: Griping? I coughed, you little toad. Rocky: I think I may have an idea. Adam: The last time YOU had an idea, we all wound up drinking pure molasses. Rocky: How was that? Adam: I dunno, I just don't like your ideas. Why, you told me to go for the goals of my dreams, and I kissed Aisha. Rocky: Yeah? So? Adam: So?? She slapped me. Rocky: That's what you get for being a weenie. Aisha: Would you all just stop being big babies and do something constructive? Rocky: We're supposed to be big babies, and just what is a big baby? Like you're so mature. Aisha: I don't go around leaving spitballs on the school toilet seat and leave phleghm in the water fountain. Adam: Man, you're gross, Rocky. Rocky: Scrote. Adam: Bonehead. Rocky: Asswipe! Aisha: This is NOT how it was written, but I can see by you two yammering it's up to me to rescue us--again. Rocky: Whaddya mean--again? That stupid hair-pin joke was so lame, it made a limping horse look like Jack LaLanne. Aisha: Fine, in that case, SHUT UP AND DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!! Suddenly, a soccer ball is just thrown to Adam's direction like a prop man just threw it. Adam: Hey look, a soccer ball. Aisha: How convenient. Rocky: What do we do with this? Adam: Don't be so cynical. Watch. Adam tries to bring the ball closer to him. Adam: Pretend to be sick, Rocky. Aisha: Thought he already was. Rocky: Ooooo! Adam: DO IT! Rocky: Alright alright. Adam: Now, cluck like a chicken and count backwards. Rocky: Is that really necessary? Adam: Of course! Now do it! Rocky begins coughing. Rocky (saying it): Ahhh, cau-augh, sneeze sneeze, caah cahh, choke choke. Oh, I must be coming down with a fever, cluck, cluck, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, cluck cluck. Adam: Hahahaahahahahaaha!! Hah hahhh! Hahahaahahahaha! Hahahahahaha, cough cough, sneeze sneeze, you look so stupid, hhahahahaha! Rocky: Alright, laughing boy, now what? Adam: Hahahaha. Rocky: How did that help? Adam: My spirits have now been uplifted, looking at you humiliating yourself was a gaser!! Rocky: You mean, that had nothing to do with the plan? Adam: Hahahahahaha, no! Hhahhahahaha... Rocky assumes a ticked-off face and slams his fist into Adam's face. Adam: Hahahaha, duuull. Rocky: Shut up and do something, igit. Adam: Alright, go as far as you can behind the tree. Rocky: Alright, now what? Adam: Stay there. Ah hem. Muddie: Mee mee mee. Adam: Alright, run as fast as you can right now, Rocky! The Muddie with the keys to the shackles on Adam, Aisha and Rocky goes after Adam, who grabs the soccer ball with his feet and throws it at the Muddie, and it bounces off his head and the muddie keeps going after them. Aisha shifts her eyes between the Muddy and Adam grinding her legs into the ground trying to put some non-existant distance between her and the Muddy. Aisha (nervously and frantically): Gee, Adam, now what? NOW WHAT??!?!?!?? DO SOMETHING!!! Adam: Uhh, uhhh... Suddenly, another soccer ball is thrown in Adam's direction. Adam: Thank you, prop man. Adam tries again and it hits on target on the Muddies' pelvis and he combusts and drops the keys. Adam: There it is. Rocky: I think you're so dumb... Aisha: Let's send these dorks where they came from!! They begin attacking the muddies until they're cleared out and they eventually destroy the can of stinky funk. SCENE II: Lord Bread and Goldar are inside his war machine SerpantSlinky. Lord Bread: Let's shell shock 'em some more! Hahahahaha! Goldar: I'd love to, but ah, we're wasting too much energy. We're nearly out. Lord Bread: WELL then we'll just blow up the entire planet! Nothing will stand in my way!! Goldar: I'll try, oh annoying one. SCENE III: The rangers are tugging at the statue of Martin Scorsese trying to get the MasterCard. Billy: Just a little more... Red Ranger: HOLD IT!!! Black Ranger: What? Red Ranger: Zack, Trini, stop! Yellow Ranger: Why? Red Ranger: Exactly why are we trying to get this credit card? Black Ranger: So we can give up our pow-er.... Wait a minute, why should we be helping you guys get rid of us? Billy: Please don't make the AB Writers play rank again. Red Ranger: Anything for the money. Black Ranger: What money? Once we're gone, we're getting didley squat. Red Ranger: This sucks. Well, don't expect any enthusiasm outta me. Billy: I just thought of something. Tommy: Did you hurt yourself? Billy: Get a life, white trash. Tommy: Hey! Kimberly: Where's the map? Billy: I got it. Red Ranger: Give it to genius, you know it's gone. Billy: Here's the wedding ring of Mr. Scorsese. Tommy: How do you know he was ever married? Billy: Makes no difference, parodies are supposed to mean absolutely nothing. Ah hem, it says on this map, to chant this and put the ring on, eh? Oh no. Tommy: Hahahaha, I've gotta get a camera for this. Billy: You weasel. Tommy: Go ahead, make my coffee talk. Billy: Martin P. Scorsese, will you marry me and make me the happiest... Tommy: BUSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! [Tommy flips over holding his belly in side-aching laughter] Hahahahaha!! Billy rams his foot into Tommy's belly. Billy: ...the happiest Ranger to ever live? Kimberly: Hurry, Lord Bread is gonna do some evil stuff! ======== Lord Bread: WHY ARE YOU WAITING?!?!??! BLOW THEM UP ALREADY!!! Goldar: I'm waiting for them to get the upper hand. Lord Bread: BUT WHY?!?!?! Goldar: Because it's in the script sir, and I LU-AU-UVE the script! Lord Bread: Then you'll just la-u-auve this part too, I GET TO BEAT UP ON YOU VERBALLY AGAIN!!! HAHAHAHA! Goldar: Oh no! Lord Bread: You're nothing but a worthless bag of waste material! You mean nothing to the moon! You suck! I think you bite! YOU SIR, DISGUST ME!! Goldar: Can I respectfully leave before you totally trash my good name? Lord Bread: Get back here, I'm not threw making you look stupid! You're nothing but a... ======== Billy: ...for sickness and in health. Tommy: Waahhahahahhahha!!! Billy: Would you just SHUT UP!??! Tommy: Bite me, nerd. Billy: Bite this. Billy zaps Tommy's helmet with his blade blaster. Tommy: Are you outta your mind? Billy: Yes, I didn't raise the setting passed 2. Tommy: Argh. Kimberly: Well the planet is as good as gone, so stop goofing off! Billy: With this ring, I wed thee. Billy puts the ring on and the Power MasterCard is lifted. Yellow Ranger: Say Billy, how come you pratically married a stack of concrete, just to get the credit card? Billy: That's how it goes; pretty ladies marry the rich, and rob 'em blind after twenty charges of sexual harrasment in the bed. Kimberly: Tommy, I'm suing you for sexual harrasment. Tommy: Why? Kimberly: Because all my girlfriends are doing it. Tommy: Sorry buddy, I'm staying on this show. Try Jason. Red Ranger: Sorry, I'm leavin' town, the only thing you'll get, is a German Lawyer answering the phone saying "Gootentah." Kimberly: Foo. Well, how about Zack? Tommy: Sorry to say, Kim; but if you did that, no one would believe you. Billy: Knowing Zack, it'll take a while for him to understand that slam. Well I got the Mastercard, let's split! SCENE IV: In the command center... The rangers--again--are standing in unison in the command center with their helmets off while Jason is holding the Power MasterCard. "Jason": Alright, we got the stinkin' thing. Zordon: Great. Now, I have been payed to give you a sweet, mushy, yucky and pukingly disgusting sentimental goodbye scene. "Jason": Fine, fine. Zordon: Ah hem. On August 28th, 1993 at exactly 10:30 AM the morning of Saturday, five teenagers had been... Billy: Get to the point. Zordon: Well, since we've been flooded with letters, we have no choice but to replace Jason, Zack and Trini. 200,000 letters said that Trini needs to wear more sexy clothing, and should do something about her BREASTS. "Trini": Oooo, subtlty at its finest. Zordon: Women said Zack couldn't act to save his own miserable existance, and his hair stinks, no girl would ask him out if he was the last imigrant on earth, and he's ugly. Now Jason just got fed up. Alpha: I knew making Tommy the leader was pushing it too much. Tommy: Not me, my prayers seem to be coming true before my very eyes. Hehehe. "Jason": HEY!! You don't >HAVE< to be so *HAPPY* about it. Tommy: Uhh, yes I do, buttman. The only power you'll have, is scaring off citizens. I can just see it now. Tommy humps his back over with his arm dragging to the floor with his free hand out pretending like he's Jason in ripped up clothes with a measuring cup asking for cents. Tommy: Duhh, spare some change for the smelly and needy? Hahahahahaha! "Jason": Don'tchu PUSH it, mon!! Zordon: Ah hem, can we get back to the point? Kimberly: No problem. Zordon: Well, since you FOOLS wasted too much time, I've gotta make this short, and non-sentimental. Ah hem, See, since you--Trini--serve no value whatsoever besides playing stooge and decoy to Bread's monsters, you'll probably be better as a force-fed hostage in Germany's barreling jails of torture, and hard knox. Jason, hard-headed and stubborn, you serve no purpose here now that Tommy has been deemed head honcho. And Zack, well, you're just plain stupid. So I suppose, MAYBE you'll serve more purpose in Germany. But until then, the best of luck to you, because you're in for a large amount of pain and suffering that is being bestowed upon you. "Trini": Hmmmm, I don't wanna go to Germany now, I'm scared. "Zack": You dddddon't think they'll really, force feed me dddddo you? "Jason": And jail usss??? Tommy: Hahahaha, enjoy the trip. Ha ha. Billy: Nice knowin' ya, pancake face. "Trini": Well if you're booting us out, who's gonna take our place? Kimberly: Like, duh! Like you wouldn't know? It's Aisha, Adam and mmmm!!! Tommy slams his hand on Kimberly's mouth. Tommy: Great, there goes our suspense. Zordon: For that, I'm lowering Kimberly's power by 4 percent. Kimberly: Aww screw. Zordon: Well come along. Alpha: Alright. I'll teleport them. Alpha teleports Rocky, Adam and Aisha and Rocky has his penis out trying to take a leak when he's suddenly just teleported long with Aisha, who was situating her bra, and Adam, who was situating his underpants. Rocky: Aye?!?!?! Whaddya think you're doin'!?!? Aisha: Ahhh!! Tommy: Hey Aisha, nice set. Aisha walks up to Tommy and slaps him. Aisha: You dog! Alpha: Perhaps maybe I cought you at a bad time? Adam: Aww that's it, let me get my hands on... Adam slams his fist into his palm and charges after Alpha who moves back. Alpha: Ahh! Hostile attack! Forcefield around three teenagers! Rocky: Hey, what do you think you're doin', ya crazy robot? Zordon: You have been rudely interrupted because it is time. Aisha: No, I took birth control before Adam and me did it. Zordon: Oh gawd. Aisha: Oh, you mean... OH! I get it, hehehehehe. Zordon: Uh yeah. Anyway, it is time for the power transfer. "Jason": Right. Jason picks up the command center phone and dials. "Jason": Hello, CSPenney? Billy: CS--PENNEY? Zordon: Cheryl Saban Penney. Billy: Ugh. "Jason": Yes, I would like to order three spandex costumes, yes, three diamonds, 3 pairs of diamond boots, and three helmets. Thank you, bye bye. Suddenly, three supersuits appear on Rocky, Adam and Aisha. "Zack": Here, take 'em. I'll just, suffer. Alone, in the cold, in Germany, Aisha: Hey thanks, Mr. Bum. "Zack": It's Zack, and you better take GOOD care of those suits. "Jason": Yeah, and you gotta be obnoxious and grouchy like me, Rocky. Rocky: Bite my ass, bum. "Jason": Perfect, couldn't have picked anyone better. Aisha: I just gotta go change a minute. Could I? Tommy: Oh, I'll help you... Aisha: Don't push it, Whitey. Tommy: Hey! I see you're one of those tomboy chic's who won't lighten up without cheep booze, huh? Aisha: Yeah, and you better not pinch me. ==== Later... Rocky, Aisha and Adam are in Jason, Zack and Trini's outfits. Rocky: Whaddya think? "Jason": Your crotch is too big. Rocky: So is yours. "Trini": Hey! You got bigger bosoms than me!! Aisha: It's about time someone worthy was affixed into this suit. "Trini": Mmmm!!! And a bigger butt too. Billy snickers. "Jason": You do a good job, okay? Adam: You can count on us, if the price is right. Alpha: Let's call it, an I.O.U. Adam: Okay. Alpha: For the end of this season. Rocky: Darn! Zordon: Goodbye, bums! Haw haw haw! "Jason," "Zack" and "Trini": Jason, Zack and Trini hold each other in terror as Zordon flashes them away. Billy stands there, and rapidly turns his head around. Billy: Anyway, now that that garbage is gone, now we got new people. Cool. Kimberly: I hope this is the last new thing going on, it's giving me a headache. Alpha: Oh no no no. Zordon: Alpha is correct. Billy and Kimberly's jobs may also be in danger, seeing is that nothing on this show has been written in stone anymore. Alpha: We can't afford to get a barrage of nasty letters and lose even so much as an ounce of ratings. Zordon: Lose them to the Q, Z and X-men. Tommy: Lord Bread's still got an ulcer, he's still peeved and we gotta go back into action. Aisha: We won't let you down. Zordon: Very good, because if you do, I'll have you tarred, feathered, and picked apart with a butter knife. Adam: Yeesh, [muttering under his breath] what have we gotten ourselves into? Billy: Lord Bread has us on watch 24 hours a day. Kimberly: We never get to complete a date happy. Tommy: And we have no life at all. Welcome home team. Aisha: Uhhh, I changed my mind... Aisha, Rocky and Adam are backing away from Zordon slowly when they whip their bodies around and charge for an escape out of the command center. Zordon: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A giant energy bolt stops them. Zordon: You have no choice!!! Rocky: We're prisoners! Trapped like rats. Alpha: You have no idea. So you just STAY here and do as Zordon says! Zordon: Yes. You must watch reruns of "As the World Turns" 20 times a day, clip your toenails, eat as many lollipops as you can until you get sick, and last but not least, drain anyone's brain if they learn you are a Pathetic Ranger. No one must know you are a Pathetic Ranger. Billy: Could this be, oh, I don't know, the 100th time I heard him perform that speech? Zordon: Silence, William. Tommy: Let's get BACK to action! SCENE V: Lord Bread: Hahahahahaha! Well, if I can't get what I want with SerpantSlinky, let's see how they handle my MONSTER SilverCorn! Hahahaha! SCENE VI: Zordon: Now look what you igits have done, we wasted so much time that Lord Bread has now released his new monster: SilverCorn. Kimberly: It was inevitable. Aisha: We got problems. Tommy: Yeah, let's get BACK to action! Billy: You just said that. Tommy: Well it's your fault for not getting back to action. Sheesh. Billy: Ugh. SCENE VII: Suddenly, Silvercorn appears before the rangers, who just arrived to the grass filled place, and for once--Saban uses special effects and explosions. SilverCorn: Hahahaha!! You won't look so cool once I get threw with you! Take this! SilverCorn throws the Rangers a firey bolt of lasers and they're all blown up. Tommy: This is not doing amazing wonders to my Ranger career image. Billy: No kidding. Whaddya gonna do about it, big brains? Tommy: I know what to do, and YOU'RE supposed to be the big brains, hot shot. Billy: Oh ugh. Tommy: We need Tar power! Tar arrives ready for battle and starts shooting at SilverCorn. ------- Back in SerpantSlinky... Lord Bread: DAHHH! This is NOT looking good! Goldar: Should I simply shock the rangers by having Baboo dance naked? Lord Bread: THAT would be TOO easy, I wanna pull off a stunt so heinous it will get me into the villianous book of records. Goldar: But there is none. Lord Bread: I know, why is that? Goldar: Because the bad guy has never been written to win, which makes me ponder why I even work for you. Baboo: Because you're ugly. Goldar: So are you, and get outta my face, you're not supposed to be in SerpantSlinky. Lord Bread: Forget the book of records, I'M going to deal those rangers something they can't comeback with!! Goldar: Is this the ultimate plan? Lord Bread: You bet your sweet, I'M GONNA MAKE HIM GROW!! Goldar: Oh no, now we're done for. Lord Bread: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?!? Goldar: Nothing, not really, go ahead. Lord Bread throws down his banana peeling which makes SilverCorn grow. Rocky: I'll ask for BlunderZord power!! Kimberly: So soon? For goodness sakes, they just left only 2 minutes ago. Rocky: Do you mind being baked to a dark crisp by Bread's monster? Kimberly: BlunderZord power is good, real good, go for it. Rocky: Thank you. Rocky: Trashosaurus-Red Dragon Liver BlunderZord power! The Trashosaurus-Red Dragon Liver BlunderZord arrives in it's solo battle form to challenge SilverCorn. SilverCorn: Cute toys, but I'm gonna rip 'em apart! Hahahaha! Rocky: No way! Zordon has my life in his hands, and I'm going to make you look uglier than a railroad accident! SilverCorn: Hahahaha! Eat my dust, Red Ranger!! SilverCorn charges after Rocky's Trashosaurus-Red Dragon Liver BlunderZord and gives him a really crappy beating until Rocky's zord is on his side, smoking. Rocky: In this present time, it does not seem like this is working. SilverCorn: Hahahaha, how does it feel to be made into mashed potatoes?? Hahahahaha!! I'm gonna enjoy this! ========= In SerpantSlinky... Lord Bread: YES! HE'S WINNING! I KNEW HE WOULD! Goldar: Not quite, look. Lord Bread: Huh?!?!? --------- Tommy: CIDERZORD POWER! NOW!! Deadpan singers, who sound unlively, chant "Go, white ranger, go Ciderzord" as CiderZord charges threw the creation and Tommy jumps in. SilverCorn: Oooo, fresh meat. Everyone knows corn goes with mashed potatoes. Tommy: I bet you'd really like to get a piece'a me, repulsive. But you're getting nut'n but a sore jaw, and a groin injury! SilverCorn: Hahahahaha! Take this, Pathetic Baby! Tommy: HA! CAUGHT RECYCLING OLD JOKES! JUST FOR THAT, YOU'RE GONNA GET A MEAN BLAST!! White CiderZord gives SilverCorn a blast, as does SilverCorn, who throws ears of rotten laser corn at Tommy, whose zord begins imploding with electrical sparks flying and Tommy's covering himself. Tommy: This never happened to Indiana Jones. Adam: Majormess-Cowardly Lion BlunderZord Power! Kimberly: Pterydorky-TiredBird BlunderZord power! Billy: Tribladdertops-Acorn BlunderZord power! Aisha: Sabretoothed-Alley Cat-Lipton Tea BlunderZord Power! ====== Lord Bread: THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED!! Goldar: What are you griping about? They haven't even formed the BlunderHeapaJunkaMegaZord yet. Lord Bread: I do NOT grip. We have Squatt for that. I'm boiling mad! I'm burnin' up! Turn out the lights in Angel Grave so we can ambush 'em! Goldar: Alright, whatever you say. Goldar attempts to turn out the lights of Angel Grave, but after he switches with SerpantSlinky's switches, suddenly the lights in SerpantSlinky go out cold. Lord Bread: What??!?!?!? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!?!? I TOLD YOU TO TURN OUT *ANGEL GRAVE'S* LIGHTS!! NOT OURS!! Goldar: I didn't. You wasted so much time gloating and so many missles that we ran clean out of energy. Lord Bread: Great, thanks to YOUR gloating, we're outta energy, and those Pathetic Rangers are ganging up on us. ====== Tommy: Are you guys with me? Kimberly and Aisha: Right. Billy and Adam: Morphy. Tommy: Ugh. Anyway, let's clean out SilverCorn and SerpantSlinky. Billy: Uhh, pardon my cynility, but how come Rocky is suddenly back on his feet after reeling in pain leading to conclude that Rocky faced certain doom? Tommy: Does it matter? Billy: Yes, it determines whether we'll be sued for having bomb shelter holes for a plot. Tommy: Lord Bread doesn't stand a chance, that's all that counts, so stop whining and let's finish him! SilverCorn: WAIT A MINUTE! You CAN'T do this to me! The rangers, with their weapons destroy SilverCorn, who spontaneously combusts underground. SCENE VIII: Lord Bread: Well now, Thomas Edison; what do you prepose we do now?!?!?! Goldar: Excuse me, ungrateful grouch; but you're the one who says I'm worthless and stupid, when all you do is pace around the floor commanding orders and complaining! Lord Bread: You DARE talk to me like THAT?!?!?! Goldar: Not really, ahehehehe. I'll fix this right away. Lord Bread: Oh very good! Two thousand megatons of pure destruction power and we're lying here like this is a Volvo. THAT'S the LAST time I order from the Home Shopping Network. Goldar: Well, Bread; you're not gonna like this... Lord Bread: I know! YOU CALLED ME BREAD! YOU ARE TO CALL ME *LORD* BREAD!!! Goldar: Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway, LORD Bread, we're stone cold outta power, we have to retreat! Lord Bread: I'm charging this GARBAGE to YOUR credit card. Goldar: Gee, what a surprise. Lord Bread: Let's get outta here. As Satan as my witness, I will DESTROY the PATHETIC RANGERS!!! SCENE IX: In the command center... The Rangers are looking at the viewing globe which is displaying Jason, Trini and Zack leaving for Germany in a prison bus with jail bars on the windows. Billy: Gee, it's kinda sad to see them go. I kinda liked humiliting Trini. Tommy: And smacking Zack. Kimberly: And insulting Jason. Alpha: They will be missed. Zordon: And most likely returning for Sweeps Month next year. Tommy: I hate Sweeps month. Kimberly: Oh well. Adam: Yo guys? We do exist. Billy: Yeah, but you're new, we get payed to feign sentiment towards the departing of our former friends. Aisha: Former? Tommy: Yeah, if you're not on the show, we pretend like they'll be forever friends, but the next batch of episodes we pretend like they don't even exist. Alpha: Ergo, you guys would be better off staying in our team, furthermore, it's less hazardess to your health. Rocky: Uhhhh... Well, the Big Red trashy thing was pretty cool, nice stereo. Aaron Waters is my idol. Billy: Ahhh... Nevermind. All six clasp their hands together and jump in the air. All: PATHETIC RANGERS! THE END (C) 1994 Artist Bros. Enterprises NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS... Billy REALLY becomes a nerd and comes up with a not-so ingenius idea by creating a dance night where girls ask out the guys. Puh... Billy: Well, the club from which I belong to--The Geek Nerdites Fraternity of American Schooling... Rocky: Exsqueeze me? Billy: ...is putting on a Vice Versa dance. Adam: Why is it called that? Billy: Well, because the girls ask out the guys instead. Adam: Now I know why your fraternity is called Geek Nerdites. Billy: Shut up, Adam. You're just sulkin' cause you're ugly and couldn't get a date to win you a million dollars. Rocky: Hehhehehe. ...Lord Bread plants a spy to destroy the Pathetic Rangers! Goldar: What if we fool that idiot into thinking that this virtual spy we've brainwashed into infiltrating the rangers is a hard-up lady who's never dated in her life? Maybe she'll ask the idiot out, and he'll fall for it. Lord Bread: But who? Goldar: Well, I've already hacked the Youth Center's computers and tacked a Jessica Wong into the computer. Lord Bread: Wong, Wong, Wong. So boring, can't we use a different Asian name? Goldar: Nah, no one gives a damn. Lord Bread: Great idea!! Maybe I'll revive an old buddy of mine. Is Adam so hard-up that he'll date an evil being bent on destroying him? Will Goldar think of a nice plan instead of a lame one? Will Adam streak the episode away until he's arrested for indecent exposure? Will looking at Adam in the buff give Billy an unstoppable laugh that will place him in the hospital bed? Find out on the NEXT Episode of the Pathetic Rangers!