Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" Parody of, "Rocky Just Wants to Have Fun" Billy and Rocky are at Ernie's Junk Food Bar. Billy is reading a book aloud to Rocky, whose face is buried in a plate of fries, asleep. Billy: ...and so the main dominator is the square root of 52, which leads us to conclude that the fraction of... Rocky? Rocky? Rocky: ZZZ...ZZZ...ZZZ...ZZZ...ZZZ... Billy: Ugh. Ernie walks out from behind the counter of the Junk Food Bar and places some trinket with a purple cloth on it on top of the counter. Ernie: Hey look; see, since I'm losing money, I've decided to hook some of my customers on this new trinket I bought. Say hello... to the Pachinko Machine! Ernie takes off the purple cloth and reveals a giant Pachinko Machine--a game that has these balls and looks similar to a pin-ball machine. Billy shakes Rocky to wake him up, and he pops his head up with his eyes wide open. Rocky: 54! The square root... Billy: Too late to pretend like you were listening. Look at this, Rocky. Rocky: Hey, this is too fun! Billy: What is? Rocky: This thing. Billy: You don't even know what it is. Rocky: Oh. Billy: Ya know, you're an insult to Clark Gable. Did you go to acting school? Rocky: Nah, it's just I have a rich family. Ernie: It's a Pachinko Machine. I have no idea what it is, it just looks colorful. Rocky: Cool. Billy: It's one of those Asian Toys. You have to keep getting balls into this little hole over here or something. I really don't know, and I don't care, 'cause I... Rocky? Rocky? Billy looks over to Rocky, who's already playing the Pachinko Machine. Billy: Oh brother, just don't take too long. Give me a turn. Ernie: Billy, you're supposed to be the deadhead of this episode, you don't want a turn. Billy: Damn. SCENE II: Lord Bread's Palace. Goldar is under Lord Bread's warrior machine SerpantSlinky with oil on his face while he's fooling with the switches under SerpantSlinky with wrinches trying to fix it. Lord Bread: WHAT ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME WITH THAT GARBAGE FOR!?!?! Goldar: Well, since I'm paying for it, and out on the lam from Bill Collectors, I might as well try to fix it, since you've charged it to MY credit card. Lord Bread: You're the one who bought it. Goldar: No I didn't. Lord Bread: If I say you bought it, you bought it!!! Goldar: Get off my back, can't you see I'm working? What are you doing? Lord Bread: Uhhh... Squatt: The writers told me to give you this script so you can hatch your latest, most evil plan yet. Lord Bread (reading the script): And then I unleash the PickleHead?!?!?! WHAT!??!?! WHAT KIND OF LAME SCRIPT IS THIS!?!?! I DEMAND BETTER THAN THIS!!! Baboo: It's not my fault! Lord Bread: Bring me the writers, I wanna kill them. Baboo: Can't do that, otherwise, we wouldn't know what to say. Goldar: I'm thinking he should know that already. Lord Bread: What did you say, Goldar?!?!?! Goldar: Nothing, nothing, I'm just working. Lord Bread: Very good. Ah hem. Rocky is having sooooo much fun, aye?!? I'll give him the party of the year! 'Cause you won't wanna do anything besides eat, drink and play! Hahahahahaha! SCENE III: At the Junk Food Bar... Rocky is still playing the machine and Billy is sitting at a table all by himself with his arm slumped onto his table upset. Billy: Rocky, when are you gonna stop playing that thing? Rocky: When my brain turns to Silly-Putty. Billy: Oh, well ya know, no one is here to study with me, so I need you, even though you look like a dipity-doo head. ====== Lord Bread: Let the games begin!!! Hahahahaha! Lord Bread takes his X stick and lasers the Pachinko Machine to put a spell over Rocky. Billy: Come ON, Rocky! Let's get back to studying!!!! I simply crave academic nourishment. Rocky: Get a life, syrup-face. I'm having WAYYYYY too much fun!! Billy: Get over here or I'll bash your face into that Pachinko Machine. Rocky: That's not fun, MAN! I'm going to win! Billy: Thanks a lot, Ernie. This noise is starting to hurt my head. Ernie: Hey, nobody's perfect. Billy: Yeah, and speaking as a medical trained student, you're FARRRRRR from perfect. Ernie: You're real obnoxious, you know that? I don't like it. Billy: Yeah, well my study-buddy has become a fuddy-duddy. Ernie: Become? I thought he already was. Rocky has his tongue hanging out his mouth with his eyes turning into green spirals. Billy walks up to Rocky and bops him on the head and walks away. Some little girl wearing glasses, and buck teeth with her hair combed back walks up to Rocky. The girl is known for constantly snorting. Nerd Girl: Hey, Rocky. I want to learn karaoke so I can defend myself against bullies. You promised you'd do it at 4. Rocky: Do it yourself, nerd! [Over-acting] I just want to have fun. Billy: Man, this guy's acting SUCKS. Nerd Girl (crying): Okay, I understand. Oh!! Rocky: Alright. Ya-hoo!!! I'm winning! Billy: Ugh. Billy walks out the Junk-Food Bar. SCENE IV: Tommy, Aisha, Adam and Kimberly are outside in the park standing around-- bored--throwing frisbee's to each other. Kimberly: Rah. Tommy: Yip. Aisha: Ya-hoo. Adam: Whoa. Tommy: How come the B.S. Trippers get to go skiing, jogging, bungee-jumping, and all we're left with is throwing frisbee's? Kimberly: Think the writers think we're not worth the money anymore. Tommy: That sucks. Oh no, here's one more thing that sucks, Billy's coming. Aisha: If you're not going to play with us, then go away. Billy: Play, play, play, that's all you morons wanna do. Tommy: What's your problem? Billy: My problem? Rocky has been playing this stupid Asian make-shift foosball machine that Ernie brought in, and he gave me the finger about studying. Adam: I do that everyday, what's the big deal? Billy: The big DEAL is, he'd rather play that machine than to go to the BATHROOM. Aisha: That is serious, we don't want him smelling like an alley. Billy: What do we do? Kimberly: I don't know, but I have a hunch Lord Bread is behind this. Billy: He is? I thought Rocky just had a road-block in the frontal lobe of his brain. Tommy: That may be true, since he can't act worth a damn. Suddenly, Lord Bread creates this odd monster (who happens to have several similarities to the previous monster of last episode) named PickleHead who is acting crazy. PickleHead: Hahahahahaha, you rangers, prepare to die! Because my power is so mean, you're gonna fly! Hahahahahaha! Billy: Oh boy. PickleHead: Muddies, attack the Pathetic Rangers! Aisha: Oh no! We've got trouble. Tommy: Maybe we should get Rocky. Billy bops Tommy on the head and gets his hand all sticky with hair spray. Billy: Ewwww... Tommy: Hahaha, my ultimate weapon! You muddies are mine!! They begin kicking Muddie boodie. SCENE V: Rocky is playing Konkey Dung Country at the Junk Food Bar when he gets a call from Zordon. Rocky takes off his watch and throws it at the floor and then steps on it and goes back to playing the video arcade game. Zordon pages him again, except the sound on the watch starts dragging and sounding messed up. Rocky picks up the watch and taps it. Rocky: What do you want, old man? Zordon: What?!?!? Rocky: If you don't tell me something fun, I'm going to hang up. I just want to have fun. Can't you see I'm having fun? I wanna have fun. Zordon: ENOUGH!!!! I've heard it all and I'm fed-up! You better morph, otherwise, I'll teleport you to the command center and have Alpha fry your hand on broken control panels. Rocky: That's no fun! Alpha: Zordon, we'll have to talk on stupid-face's level. The rangers are in the parrr-k. You must morph and destroy the monster. Rocky: That's no fun. But playing on the swing is. Zordon: What is this? A three-year-old? Alpha: I think Lord Bread just enlarged his brain, that's all. Zordon: What does that mean? Alpha: It means, he IS a three-year-old. Zordon: Good grief. Rocky: Now to have fun. 'Cause, see, that's the only thing I care about, I just wanna have fun. AB Writers: Enough already!!! Rocky: Being yelled at is no fun... AB Writers: Great, of all the actors, I had to pick one who overdoes his role. Rocky: I'm going to have fun... SCENE VI: ======= Rocky: Wait! My scene! It's not over... AB Writers: If you're gonna keep saying you just wanna have fun, then it's over. Rocky: That's no fun. AB Writers: AAAAAUUGGHHH! ======= The rangers have already cleared out all the muddies. Billy: Hey!! What happened to my big action scene? Tommy: Unnecessary. Billy: Oh no, here comes Rocky. Anyone have a lead-pipe? I'm in the mood for grave-digging. Tommy: I'll handle... Rockkkk.... oh my god!!! Rocky is swinging on the jungle gym. Rocky: This is loads of fun, ayyyyyyy!!! Rocky slips from off the jungle gym and falls down. Tommy: That's a stain. Billy: Get up, Rocky. Fun and games are over. PickleHead: I don't think so, Pathetic Stooges! Hahahahahaha, wanna play baseball? Rocky: That sounds like lots of fun... Billy: Uhhh, Tommy, can I serve Rocky a knuckle-sandwich? Tommy: Nahh, I wanna do it. Billy: How about making it a joint effort? Kimberly: Listen you guys, I think it would be better if we just morphed. Billy: Yeah, then I'd have my bladeblaster! Hahahahahaha! Kimberly: Since I'm the only mature one here... IT'S MORPHIN TIME! Tommy: I wanted to say it! Tommy: CiderZord Adam: Majormess Kimberly: Pterydorky Billy: Tribladdertops Aisha: Sabretoothed-Alley Cat Rocky: Trashosaurus Billy: Remind me to kill the producer. Kimberly: Why? Billy: This is why. Fan #1: Hey Billy, how come you were wearing a tank top when morphing, but when you weren't morphed you were wearing a T-shirt and a leisure shirt? Billy: I knew "arms-only" was better than wearing a tank-top. Kimberly: Maybe we shouldn't have worn a top at all. Adam: That would be heaven. Kimberly: Maybe not. Billy: C'mon! Let's kick Pickle brain into the next area code! PickleHead: That's right, Rocky, come, we can play volleyball! Rocky: That sounds like a lot of fun! PickleHead: Hahahahaha! Your FRIENDS BEING THE BALL! HAHAHA! Tommy: ADAM! GET BACK!! Adam: Huh? Whoa!! There's a huge explosion and Billy, Kim and Aisha get zapped until they turn into giant Pachinko Balls with Power Ranger helmet stickers on them. Tommy: It didn't happen that way in rehearsal. Adam: We gotta do something and FAST! Tommy: Yeah, like slapping Rocky upside the head. Rocky (in a Pee-Wee Herman Voice): La la la, la la, tra la la! Hey kids! What's the secret word of the day!??! PickleHead: That's right, that's it, play ALL the live long day! Hahahahaha! C'mon! We'll play hide and seek! You hide, and I'll find you... maybe... Rocky: I don't care, I just wanna have fun! Tommy: Auuugh!! I swear to god I'm gonna permanately re-arrange his FACE if he keeps SAYING that! Adam: We have no choice. Tommy: No choice on what? Adam: I must throw myself at the monster! Tommy: No!!! THAT'S SUICIDE! Adam runs up to PickleHead. PickleHead: Party crasher, aye?!?! Don't wanna spoil all the fun! Hahahaha! PickleHead freezes Adam into a bowling ball too. Rocky: HAHAHAHAHA! Rocky is jumping up and down acting silly with his fingertip on his head acting like a fool. PickleHead: ENOUGH! PARTY'S OVER, PATHETIC RANGER! HAHAHAHA! Rocky: Huh?! But wait! I thought we were having fun! PickleHead: I am! But soon, you won't! Hahahaha! Rocky: Wait a minute, help!! Rocky is sucked into becoming a bowling ball. PickleHead: Hahahaha! I got the rangers! Tommy: Not all of them! Take me on, twerp! PickleHead: I'm always in the mood for teatherball! Hahaha, c'mon, Weenie Ranger! Casaba: I believe it is high-time we have some tea. Tommy: NO! That's: it's HIGH-TIME THIS GAME ENDED! Casaba: But I want some tay. Tommy: Well ya ain't gettin' any, you're just a dumb sword that does what *I* tell you to do! Casaba: Very well. Tommy: You're history. PickleHead: I'm inclined to think YOU are! Hahahaha! PickleHead blows up Tommy's area and he rolls back to defend himself. ===== Goldar and Lord Bread are in SerpantSlinky. Goldar: Yes. SerpantSlinky is finished! Lord Bread: Yes!! NOW I CAN FINALLY RULE THE WORLD!! Goldar: How? The odds of this working are nearly zero. Lord Bread: WELL THEN WHY DID YOU GET MY HOPES UP?!?! Goldar: Oh, good grief. Lord Bread: Stop emulating Charlie Brown!! Goldar: Maybe I should just leave. Lord Bread: NO!! I NEED YOU TO STEER SERPANTSLINKY!! Goldar: What a raw deal. Lord Bread: What was that?!?! Goldar: Nothing, nothing. ===== Tommy teleports to the command center with the bowling ball heads. SCENE VII: Alpha: Aye yi yi! I am sure something terrible has happened! Zordon: It has --- this show hasn't been canceled yet. Alpha: Ugh. Not that! I think something's wrong with Rocky. Zordon: Other than the fact he can act about as much as a cat? Alpha: Sort of. Tommy arrives with the bowling balled rangers. Alpha: This is no time to bowl, Tommy. Tommy lifts one of the pachito balls (the Pathetic Rangers) and slams it on Alpha's head. Alpha: OWWW! That's a permanate dent! Tommy: I know. Billy: Hey! Watch it there! That was my pelvis. Tommy: Sorry, Bill. By the way, you're not supposed to talk--you're a bowling ball. Billy: Well this bites. Tommy: Bread's stupid monster has turned my friends into Pachinko Balls. Zordon: Haw, haw, haw, haw. Tommy: What's so funny? Zordon: How stupid this plot sounds. Rocky is getting a fun fix, and now, bowling ball friends? How stupid. Tommy: Worse, PickleHead suckered Rocky by tempting him to have fun. Zordon: Yeah? So? Tommy: So? HIS PLAYMATE WAS THE ENEMY!!!!! Zordon: Haw, haw, haw, haw. Tommy: It's not funny, meathead. Alpha: Aye yi yi. Tommy: Well, ever since the beginning of this season, we've over-hyped this show to have brand new everything. But this is a fairly simple problem, requiring a fairly simple solution. Zordon: Alright, big-brain. What's the solution? Tommy: I was gonna ask you. Zordon: Then why'd you bring it up? Tommy: Tell me the answer, or I'll unplug you, Alpha and everything else that's in this command center. Zordon: Very well. Alpha, do something. Alpha: Alright. Let's see here. The Demografyer enter-twine with the flagmector will seperate the... Tommy: OH WILL YOU JUST DO IT!?!?! Alpha: Well, we've gotta make this situation look desperate, otherwise everyone will think this is "Full House" with special effects and tight clothes. Tommy: Why? There's nothing desperate about this situation. In fact, THERE'S NOTHING SUSPENSEFUL ABOUT THIS SHOW AT ALL!! Zordon: Calm down, Thomas. Tommy: That's Tommy. Zordon: Whatever you say, Thomason. Tommy: Ugh. Listen, fish-face, I'm going back to action. SCENE VIII: Tommy goes back to challenge PickleHead. Tommy: Hi there! PickleHead: I'm always in the mood for a bloodbath, especially since I didn't do my math! Tommy: You're more annoying than Quackmiser. PickleHead: Big deal! You're toast, White Bore! Tommy: Gimme back my friends! PickleHead: Make me! Tommy: Alright... Tommy goes off camera and screaming, yelling and punching sounds are heard. Tommy returns with a torn up costume tripping on himself. Tommy: That's it, Scarecrow... You've had your fun, now it's time for the bill! PickleHead: You don't have jack crap. Tommy: Wanna Bet? White CiderZord power, NOW! White CiderZord goes charging threw the creation. Tommy: Alright! White CiderZord! Let's show him what play is all about! Tommy style! White CiderZord changes from Tiger mode to battle mode and is ready to fight the PickleHead. PickleHead: Pretty impressive, I'm always ready to play. But if we do, we're gonna do it MY way! PickleHead charges after White CiderZord and we take a shaky, jerky zoom-in at the White CiderZord (indicating PickleHead is going after him). PickleHead throws himself at White CiderZord. Tommy: Huh!?!?! Wait a minute! Aauuugh! Man! SCENE IX: In the command center... Zordon: Have you FINALLY fixed the rangers? Alpha: Oh yeah. I did 7 minutes ago, but it was Tommy's big scene. Zordon: Yes, he doesn't seem to be rewarding it by doing it right. Rocky: What happened? Zordon: Beats me. Rocky: Thanks a lot, dead head. Zordon: HEY! That's low! Alpha: Rocky, you've been under a spell of Lord Bread's that made you seek fun, and fun only. Rocky: Hahahaha, pretty lame. Lord Bread could've thought of something better than that! Hahahaha! Alpha: ROCKY! Rocky: Right, I'm out of here! Rocky: Trashosaurus SCENE X: Rocky: Trashosaurus Red-Dragon Liver BlunderZord Power! Red Dragon Liver BlunderZord clanks together and goes on solo battle mode and gets beaten by the monster. Lord Bread: YES!! MY MONSTER IS WINNING! Golar: Puh, anyone can beat this sissy. Lord Bread: Do not make snide comments during my moment of glory and gloating. HAHAHAHA! I'VE GOTCHA NOW! SCENE XI: Alpha is STILL trying to revive the other four rangers from out of the Pachinko Ball spell. Zordon: What is taking you so LONG?!?!?! Alpha: The considerable amounts of suspense, that's what! Zordon: Well hurry it up! We're running out of time, and Rocky is turning into a bloody mass of beaten-up garbage. Alpha: Too late for that. Furthermore, letting him lose would be like actually adding suspense into this episode, which has been rendered forbidden since the start of this season from which I conclude is... Zordon: I don't WANT to hear your stupid theories! Just revive the rangers! Alpha: Alright, alright. Alpha takes this heavy baseball bat and slams it at each Pachinko ball causing the rangers to return--unmorphed. Billy: Hey, how'd we unmorph? Aisha: Just be happy it happened, big-mouth. Billy: Over-acting weirdo. Alpha: I'd hate to break up your idiot fest, but you have to help Rocky and Tommy, who are getting beaten up by PickleHead. Kimberly: Why would those FOOLS use Zordon's toys without us? Zordon: Desperate situation? Aisha: Good grief. Kimberly: It's morphin' time! Adam: Majormess Kimberly: Pterydorky Billy: Tribladdertops Aisha: Sabretoothed-Alley Cat SCENE XII: Adam: Majormess-Cowardly Lion BlunderZord Power! Kimberly: Pterydorky-TiredBird BlunderZord power! Billy: Tribladdertops-Acorn BlunderZord power! Aisha: Sabretoothed-Alley Cat-Lipton Tea BlunderZord Power! The BlunderHeapaJunkMegaZord is formed and they make this giant (50-second) battle scene with PickleHead. PickleHead: Hey! I'm not winning! This isn't right!! Tommy: Uhh, yes it is! You're going down! Rocky: Let's throw him a new ball game. They use the MegaWeenie Sword and slash him away. Lord Bread: DEE HEE!!! THIS MONSTER WAS A LAMER! GOLDAR! Goldar: Yes? Lord Bread: Let's beat up the rangers and make them pay for the set-back they've caused me! Goldar: Yes, your uncleanliness, but I'm certain it isn't going to do any good. Lord Bread: Goldar: Okay, okay! SerpantSlinky invades the scene and bashes away at the rangers until they all--excluding Rocky--fall out. Billy & Adam: AHHHHH!!! Kimberly & Aisha: AhhhH!!! Auuughhh!!! Rocky: I can take you, meathead. Lord Bread: I dare you! Rocky takes Red-Dragon Zord and gets into Tar (a zord that looks like an OLD turtle), the Fighting Machine and SerpantSlinky steps on him for a good hour and it doesn't defeat him. Lord Bread: Hahahaha! Yes! I've got the power! And all YOU have is a hernia, Red Ranger! HAhahaha! Goldar: Not quite---look. Lord Bread: Huh? Rocky: I'm not licked yet, but you are. SerpantSlinky's eyes go dark (again)--signifying it ran out of energy again. Lord Bread: WHAT?! AGAIN?! Goldar, I thought you fixed this thing! Goldar: I told you this thing wouldn't work. Lord Bread: You idiot! AGH! Just as I was winning, this PIECE OF JUNK fails me, AGAIN! Goldar: Don't look at me, I'm not the one who bought it and charged it to my credit card! Lord Bread: Quickly!! Get us out of here! Goldar: Yes, my emporer. SCENE XIII: In the Junk Food Bar... Billy is sitting at a table with a cup of soda pop and Rocky walks over to Billy. Rocky: Hey, Billy. Wanna study? Billy: Yeah sure, so you can take a snooze with your chicken McNuggets. Rocky: Sorry about that, dude, but, see... You're boring. Billy: Thanks a lot, Rock-head. Aisha: So, what are you gonna do now? Rocky: It's that time again... Aisha: To string Bulk and Skull's underpants to a flag-pole? Billy: To stuff Adam's locker with jock-straps? Rocky: No, it's time for the moral of our story... Suddenly, this angel music starts and then these midieval words appear on the screen saying "And the moral of today's story is..." Rocky (overacting): Gee, Bill, Respon-sibility co-mes bee-fore pllll-ay, other-wise, it be-com-es a prob-alem. Aisha: Well, this show was the bomb. Hopefully, next episode gets better. Rocky: Oh no, it gets worse. Anyway, let's crack these books open. Billy: Yeah. So as I was saying, the square root denomitor of... Aisha and Rocky's faces are lodged in chicken mcnuggets and fries, asleep and Billy throws up his books and puts his fist on his cheek. THE END (C) 1994 Artist Bros. Enterprises NEXT TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS...