Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "Storybook Stooges, Part II" Parody of, "Storybook Rangers, Part II" LAST TIME ON THE PATHETIC RANGERS... The pathetic writers wrote a pathetic story! Kimberly: Oh my god!! This is THE most, biggest book! It's "The Three Little Pigs." Tommy: Oh yeah. You've got no brains. ........ Rita: Book festival, aye!?!? Well, our Pathetic Rangers are gonna know what it's like to be the Three Little Pigs when I get threw with them! Baboo: Who said Rocky already isn't a pig? Rita: Would you knock it off?!? I'm going to throw them in Kimberly's favorite storybook and destroy it so they'll be stuck in it forever! Not only making all the rangers extremely angry with Kimberly, but also feel like dying! Hahahaha! ...and she did... The rangers are stuck in a fairy tale and only can get help from an obnoxious crook! Rocky: Something tells me, you're the town con man. Town Pedeller: Listen, you; no one ever cared that I sell damaged or even unsafe goods, they only cared what happened to the pigs-- you're not pigs. And if you don't wanna buy my stuff then lemme alone. Kimberly: Wait! I'll buy the straw! Tommy: What!?!? Kimberly: It's obvious he's not going to tell us anything until we buy his stuff. Rocky: Yeah--what harm could it do? Kimberly: I'll take the straw. Rocky: I'll take the sticks! Tommy: ...I'll buy the bricks. Town Pedeller: ...That'll be 300 dollars each. Kimberly: What!? Tommy: You're kidding. AB Writers: It's a story, you're already loaded with money. Rocky: Thank goodness, because I just spent all my money on that prostitute last night. ...Bulk and Skull come up with a monster using a BOOK that they accidentally tripped over at a book festival... Bulk: I'm more interested in this! "How To Construct Your Own Monster." Skull: Yeah, who wrote that? Dullard Fraud Sharleton? Bulk: Hey! How'd you know? Is Lord Bread so stupid that he has to use a second-hand monster? Did Rita pose for PlayDude in last July's issue? Is the Town Pedeller related to Robert Shapiro? Will Billy ever be smart again? Or did he get a full-frontal lobotomy? Does Goldar have a secret crush for Christina Applegate? Find out on today's episode, the conclusion of "Storybook Stooges"! Next! SCENE I: In the command center... Adam, Aisha and Billy are looking at Kimberly, Tommy and Rocky freeze to death in the viewing globe observing their sticky predicament. Wolf: THIS aughta teach you to open the door when I tell you to! BLAHH!! Tommy: HELP!! Kimberly: Mayday!! ========= Adam: I don't know what to do. Aisha: Not much of a surprise. Well, we can't rely on former-nerd over there. Billy: I'll surely think of something. Aisha: We can't give up! Billy: Yeah, my sweet baby will freeze to death. Hopefully, she'll notice me again once I save her whorish neck. Zordon: Watch your language. Billy: Eh? Alpha: Aye yi yi! Billy: We're gonna have to go back to the book festival at school. Aisha: I'm with ya. SCENE II: The rangers return to the book festival. Aisha: Don't worry, it's only 15,000 books. Billy: Well, let's get right to it. It probably won't take long. We pull-out to shelves and shelves of books they have to go threw. Adam: OY!! SCENE III: Bulk and Skull are still working on their monster. Bulk: It's coming! It's coming! Skull: It smells...like gas! Bulk: Oh, ick! Skull: Sorry. Bulk: It's coming! It's coming! LIVE!! LIVE!! ======== Lord Bread: Yes! Live, dammit! Live!! This is wonderful! Rita: Yes, it's GREAT to work with my hubby. Lord Bread: SHUT UP!! ========= Squatt: What are you doing, Goldar? Goldar: Writing "Lord Bread is a meat-faced shnook" on the floor. He'll be steamed to have to clean this up! Baboo: What? Goldar: Signed--Rita. Heh-heh. 5 minutes later... Lord Bread: GOLDAR!! DID YOU DO THIS!!?!? We dissolve to Lord Bread beating up on Goldar with a broom. Goldar: OUCH!! Oww!! Lord Bread: Bonehead! Teach you not to mess up my floor! ========= Lord Bread: Now to create my monster!! Lord Bread uses his X stick to create the turkey monster that Bulk inadvertedly created. ========= Bulk: What happened to my monster? Skull: Maybe it just picked up some legs and walked away. Bulk: Oh would you knock it off?!?! A slim, turkey monster approaches the two "scientists." Jerky Turkey: EXCUSE me, you pathetic little misfits! Bulk: YAAAA!!!! Jerky Turkey: Oh quit screamin'!! You made me! Skull: Yeah, so why are you tryin' to scare us? Jerky Turkey: It's my job. You must be real proud of yourselves. Bulk: Run for it!! Bulk and Skull run. SCENE IV: At the book festival in Angel Grave School.... Billy is smoking a cigarette with bags under his eyes, Aisha is shaking while drinking several paper cups of coffee and Adam is holding a book while asleep. Aisha (really fast): Only a couple of books, you say? Aye? Well, look at me! I'm a mess! This is getting monotness, I wanna go home and... Billy: Hush. Hmm, "Unexplained Mysteries of Cheese." Adam: This is a good one: "The History of Sweat Socks." Aisha: Hmm... "How to Swing on a Ceiling Fan and Not Fall Off." Billy: Ya know, these books are ALL lame! Adam: Don't they have any bestsellers or something? Billy: Most of these simpleton books are under 99 cents. Aisha: Yeah, and most of them are in the trashcan. The three discover a blue, glowing book. Billy: The Three Little Pigs? Aisha: How lame. Adam: I'd hate to be stuck in that story. Billy: It could be worse--you could be in the story of Three Blind Mice. Adam: Eeeh!! Aisha: Open it! Billy opens the book and reveals Tommy, Kimberly and Rocky shivering in a snowy cave with snow falling. Billy: Oh my gosh! Kimberly's naked!! Aisha: She's not naked, you idiot! Her legs are covering up her shirt and pants--if you could call them that. Adam: This is SO dumb! Billy: Yeah, so are you; but your good enough. And get a good haircut. What, did you let your baby brother cut your hair? Aisha: No, I did. Billy: Oh god! We better get this book to Zordon. Adam: He can't read! Billy: Oh would you knock it off?! They teleport to the command center with the book. SCENE V: In the command center... Zordon: What!?!? I specifically asked you to find the rangers! Why did you bring this, this, this thing! Alpha: A book? Zordon: Yeah, what is that? Alpha: Something that you can read that can enhance your brain. Zordon: We have TV for that. Alpha: Geez--did you ever go to school? Zordon: What is that? Alpha: Apparently, you weren't born after 1644. Billy: What do we do? Zordon: Well, first put that book down and go fight off that monster that your nitwit friends Bulk and Skull decided to create. Aisha: Those idiots don't ever learn not to play with fire. Billy: They just don't learn. So, what's his official name? Zordon: Cottoned Eye Joe. Adam: Oh no! Not that song. Zordon: I'm pulling your chain. I'd kill myself if anyone was named that. Billy: Be serious!! I've got adrenalen running, and it's all down in my pants! Zordon: Don't worry. By the time Kimberly is rescued, she'll immediately change her clothes so fast, it'll make your head spin. Billy: Lovely! TRY to make yourself look better, and you get punished. Aisha: Hmmm. Billy: Well? Zordon: Jerky Turkey. Billy: Yet another stupid name for a stupid, plastic monster. It's morphin' time! Adam: Majormess Billy: Tribladdertops Aisha: Sabertoothed-Alley Cat The rangers show up at a bench where Bulk and Skull are hanging from a tree. Bulk: Help! Help!! Billy: Geez, scared of your own creation. Ya know, you guys should stay away from any chemical compound--that includes Food Coloring. Skull: Just shut up and help us!! Adam: Thanks for the incentive. Aisha: I'd serve 'em right if that Turkey Jerk basted their brains in their own scattered blood. Jerky Turkey whips out a three-pack of dynomite, lights it and tosses it over to the Rangers blowing them in three different directions. Billy: UGH! Aisha: AGH! Adam: UH!! Billy: Well that was productive. Aisha: Got any plans? Adam takes out his Power-Axe. Adam: Yeah! I'm going to make a turkey sandwich outta this meat-head. Adam leaps off of a non-existant building onto the turkey with his axe and misses and is whipped (causing an explosion) by the Jerky Turkey. Adam: Time for a new strategy. Aisha: Billy, what do we do? Billy: Uh... Adam: We attack him from all sides so anywhere he looks, he's got a ranger in his face. Right! Bulk: All right! The Rangers have a plan! Skull: Yeah, but what if they lose? It'll be all _our_ fault! Bulk: They can't lose, Artist Brothers will cancel their contract. Skull: Uh oh, here they go. Bulk and Skull, sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S... (oh wait a minute, I mean); Bulk and Skull are up in the tree watching the rangers fighting with all the various sounds that shake the tree up until huge explostions produce bright lights that flash the two. Skull: As you were saying? The Rangers' ripped up and burnt until black are stumbling around dizzy. Billy: Got any better ideas? Aisha: What are you talking about? You're the brainiac. Billy: Not anymore, I threatened to quit unless those suits down at Artist Bros. Department decided to fix my hair, ditched those farmer-john overalls and quit with the uncomprehensable lines. Adam: So you're a total and complete blithering idiot. Billy: Exactly. Aisha: Hey wait a minute you guys, we almost forgot about the Cannon! Billy: Huh? Adam: Agh, by the end of this season, you're going to be the equivalent of Beavis from "Beavis and Butthead." Billy: OH! You mean, THAT cannon! Uh...what do we do with it? HEY! I demanded a re-write on that. AB Writers: Hahahaha! Billy: That's not funny, Lamer! SCENE VI: Tommy (shivering): I don't know what to do! Kimberly: This is it! It's all over! Lord Bread has won the match! Rocky: Well, I don't know about you two idiots; but I'm not going down like this. It's gonna take a lot more than a whimpy fairy tale to do me in. Tommy: Will it take a hair pin? Rocky: Is that supposed to be funny? Tommy: Yeah--it's uplifting my confidence. Kimberly: We're gonna need something to burn to get heat! Tommy: Yeah, but Kimberly... Kimberly: Maybe I'll use my other shirt. Tommy: Uhhh, yeah! Sure! Kimberly unties her denim jacket and leaves her pink shirt. She pulls it up over herself when we cut to Rocky putting his hand in front of his eyes. Rocky: No! I must.......fight.......temptation!! Kimberly: Okay. All done. Tommy begins taking the pictures out of his Polaroid camera of Kimberly topless. Kimberly: What is that? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CAMERA!?!?! Tommy: Ummm... Sears? Kimberly: Great! Why can't I start this fire? Tommy: Oh darn. I neglected to tell you before you took off your other shirt, if the weather is below 19ø, you can't start a fire. Kimberly: You mean I tore off my shirt for nothing?!?! Rocky (cracking voice): Yeah! Kimberly: Oh stop whimpering, you loser! Kimberly unties only her denim jacket again, getting topless again when the Town Pedeller falls threw the snow cave and lands in front of the three. Kimberly: AHH!! Kimberly quickly puts her shirt to her chest. Kimberly: What are you doing here?!?! Town Pedeller: Making an impromptu visit. Rocky: Thank goodness we weren't using the bathroom. Tommy: You were in "The Power MasterCard." Heh-heh. Rocky: Eat it! Town Pedeller: I guess I better go... Rocky: No wait!! Come back! We need help! We're freezing to death. Town Pedeller: Maybe you'll learn a lesson. DON'T MESS WITH A CON MAN!! Tommy: Listen--if you're hear just to complain and put us down some'more, then you can just leave. We don't need your help anyway. Kimberly is found kissing the Town Pedeller's feet. Rocky: KIMBERLY!! Kimberly: Sorry. Town Pedeller: Hehehehehe. You guys are funny. I needed a good laugh. What did I come here for? Tommy: Us to beat the snot out of you?!? Town Pedeller: That wouldn't be very suiting. Oh yeah--now I remember, saving you idiots. If you want me to save you, you're gonna have to get me my own business. Rocky: Don't do it, Tommy. It would be a stupid investment. The B.B.B. would find him out immediately. Town Pedeller: Listen--if it weren't for me, the first two pigs would've never been harassed by that windy wolf in the first place. If you get rid of me, this story will have absolutely no merit. Kimberly: That would be horrible if one of the most popular stories was snipped! Tommy: Yeah, at least this story had a moral. Goldilocks encourages unauthorized breaking and entering. Town Pedeller: Listen, I only have so much time--are you comin' with me or what? Tommy: Why not? Kimberly: Ya know, you're a big jerk. Town Pedeller: Why thank you, no one's ever told me that in years! The Town Pedeller gets the three out of the snowcave. Kimberly: Well, what comes next? Town Pedeller: I get my reward. Tommy: Ya know, you're very obvious for a con man. Town Pedeller: Hey, saving morons like you is why I even own a house. Kimberly: Here you go--I never realized what a jerk you are! It seems I liked this story a lot more when I wasn't in it! Suddenly, all the snow melts away like magic and the rangers begin walking down the street and Little Red Riding Hood is found skipping passed the rangers, so is Goldilocks, and Little Miss Muffet. Kimberly: So now what? Town Pedeller: 7:55. I guess my work is done. I gotta go home. Tommy: Not so fast, Mr. Magoo--I'm gonna kick your butt so bad you'll be throwing up blood if you get us out of this horrid story! Town Pedeller: Suit yourself! The only way you'll get out of this story is if you get the bricks you were given. I sold off all my bricks. Tomorrow, my goal is selling candy bars containing flesh-eating bacteria. You guys were lucky I was hocking flimsy housing equipment. Tommy: After you gave me the bricks, a bunch of stewed prunes came and stole 'um. I want my money back! Town Pedeller: Sorry, pal! No refunds. Kimberly: You mean, I'm stuck with his pile of hay? Town Pedeller: Not necissarily. When you idiots get lost, I'll be givin' 'um to those stupid oink-oink's. Tommy: Ya know, you're a impassive creep. Why do you sell crappy crap? Town Pedeller: How should I know? Ask the stupid author. He's the one who writes these stupid fables. Why would a sweet, polite, well-groomed girl walk into a house she wasn't invited to and gobble down three bowls of liquid death, mess up three perfectly made beds, and break a chair? Who knows!! Rocky: Ya know, the more and more I keep hearing about this, the more I'm starting to lose faith in my religion. Kimberly: Just give us HELP! By the time you stop babbling, this parody will be over! Town Pedeller: The only way you can re-purchase the bricks, and get 50% percent off on bricks and cement, is to skip down the "Yellow Brick Road" and visit the cranky Wizard of AAHS. Tommy: But that doesn't exist anymore! Rocky: You've been listening to too much Elton John. Kimberly: Do we have to skip? Town Pedeller: Drive, run, limp, doesn't matter. Tommy: Well, you're coming with us, charleton. We don't need you givin' us false directions to a booby trap, 10 feet deep hole. Town Pedeller: Alright, whatever you say. SCENE VII: Adam: Power Cannon, loaded and ready! Let's do it! The Jerky Turkey is evaporated. The explosion causes Skull to fall from the tree and go unconscious. Bulk: Skull!? Skull!? Hey buddy?? Aisha: Great, now let's get back to Command Center and figure out how to free our friends. Billy: And make some spam and balonga! Adam's glove graces Billy's helmet. Billy: OUCH! They teleport away. Skull begins to wake up. Skull: Uh, ugh... Bulk: Well, back to the drawing board. Bulk begins to lose his footing and begin to fall out of the tree. Skull: Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bulk, in slow motion, begins to fall from the tree as we begin to dramatically zoom in on Skull's face... SCENE VIII: Billy, Adam and Aisha return to the Command Center with Alpha holding the book trying to figure out what's going on. Zordon: Hey, how'd you guys change clothes? Billy: We were never in our suits. I vowed never to be in a scene using special effects again after what little of my chest hair was singed off my body. Aisha: But you don't have any. Billy: Well now, I'm not going to! Adam: Forget about it, you're 24 and you still don't have any--by the time your 42, you'll be gray, receeding and probably needing depends. Billy: HEY now, let's not get insulting! Alpha: Aren't we forgeting somebody? Zordon: Aisha? Aisha: Yeah, I was wondering why I haven't been getting very many lines this episode. Billy: My ringing ears tell me you have and thankfully not that many. Zordon: Status report. Billy: We fried that chicken. Zordon: Huh? Adam: We destroyed Jerky Turkey. Zordon: Oh. O.k. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......... Alpha: Hey, hey you wake up! We're not done with the show yet! Zordon continues to snore... Alpha walks over to the head tube and kicks it in causing Zordon's vertical image to rotate until it finally stablizes. Zordon: Don't DO that! Billy: Well we had to do SOMETHING to keep you from pining all our time away on your snoozing. So. What do we do!? Zordon: How should I know? Alpha: Agh, go back to sleep--I'll take over. According to what I was able to determine, the Rangers need to divert their efforts over to another story book in order to finish this one. Rocky: Which one? Alpha: The Wizard of AAHS. Billy: Somehow I feel I've seen that word before. AB Writers: All I know it's that it's a trademark violation and we'd better stop using it before we get a few unfriendly people knocking on our stageroom door. Suddenly there's a knock on the door. AB Writers: Hang on guys. The entire cast on the set is looking up waiting for the writer to return. We see an Artist Bros. staff writter at his office door. AB Writer: Who is it? [Behind the door]: Goons. AB Writer: What? [Behind the door]: Hired goons. AB Writer: What the... The staff writter goes to open the door and is yanked outside by some hefty men and the other hefty man closes the door. Meanwhlie we hear the writter getting the hell beat out of him while everyone in the command center flinches. The door opens as the russled staff writter sits back down in his seat. AB Writer: Okay, back to work. Alpha: Thank you. Aisha: So where do we get the Wizard of [looking around] Oz. Alpha: Uh, I got it. For the sake of time and space, we're taking it for granted that we got it. Adam: So what are we waiting for? Alpha: A new writer? AB Writer: Its not his shift yet. Aisha: That still doesn't tell us how to link the stories. Uh, wait a minute. Adam, hand me those oiled based ink and paint brushes. Adam: Where did we get THOSE from? Alpha: Time and space conservation has a tendancy to produce enormous plot holes. Billy: What are you doing? Aisha: Painting an animation cel of the yellow brick road over the story book so our friends can go visit the Wizard of Oz. Alpha: I never knew you were a cartoonist!? Aisha: I used to have a little course in it before I transfered to Angel Grave High, now all I get is arts and crafts. Billy: Well, what's wrong with that? Aisha: They give you Gak and tell you to use your imagination. Adam (smilling): Pfft. Aisha: Okay, done. They should be able to make their way to The Wizard of Oz! SCENE IX: Kimberly: This is just getting crazy! Rocky: So am I! Suddenly, a Yellow Brick Road fades into the storybook picture and Town Pedeller is dumbfounded. Town Pedeller: I don't believe it! There IS a Yellow Brick Road?! Tommy: Wait a minute! This was just another one of your con games. Town Pedeller: That's ridiculous! Kimberly: Well, now there is. I wonder who did it? Rocky: Who knows. Let's just skip down. Rocky takes one skip onto one brick in the Yellow Brick Road and runs in front of a Tin-Man. Rocky: Oh, excuse me. Tin-Man: EXCUSE ME!! Rocky: Well, you don't have to yell! Tin-Man: Shut up. Lemme alone, you pip-squeak. Tommy: Hey, you got a mondo attitude problem, aluminum brains. Tin-Man: Look, you better get outta my way! Tommy: Can we walk around you? Tin-Man: Back in line! We're all waitin' to talk to that cranky ol' geezer. Kimberly: The Wizard of AAHS? Tin-Man: Either him, or Archie Bunker. Tommy: Oh, geez! Kimberly: Why the long line? Town Pedeller: Well, see--that straw idiot wants a brain, that cold-blooded bastard wants a heart, that snot-nosed little brat wants to go home, and that coward feline wants some courage. Rocky: What makes you all so sure that the Wizard is going to help you? Tin-Man: See the sign? Rocky sees a street sign marked "Oz Blvd." Rocky: Well? Tin-Man: It's a magic place. That's what I heard. And I'm sicka goin' ta jail for beatin' up pregnant women and children. Therefore, I gotta get a heart. Tommy: Oh. Scarecrow: I just flunked kindegarden for the ninth time! I gotta get a brain! Cowardly Lion: I'm scared of puppy dogs! Tommy: Yeah right. You idiots are ALL tall men wearing costumes. Tin-Man: Yeah? You wanna fight about it? Rocky: Not really... Tommy: This punk couldn't take me on... Town Pedeller: Now now! We don't want everything to get VIOLENT. Let's just calmly, peacefully see the Wizard and be on our way. Tommy: Gunna getchu! Tin-Man: Bite my can. 2 Hours later... The Tin Man walks out the Wizard's office jumping, kicking his heals acting like a nice guy. Tin-Man: I'm so happy! Everyone else is happy! Therefore, I am happy! I love life! I am such a lovey lover! [breaks out in song] I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you... MWAH! Tommy: Oh gross!! Get 'em outta here!! Town Pedeller: Now our turn! They walk up to the Wizard's door and it's slammed in their faces. Wizard (Voice): Sorry! I'm closed! Kimberly: Hey, listen, buster; you can't do this to us! Wizard: Watch me! He slams the door. Tommy (bamming door): Open this door this instant! Wizard: You can't make me. Tommy: In about 5 seconds, I'm gonna beat this damn door with my hands! Wizard: I wouldn't do that. Tommy slams at the door (which suddenly turns to cast iron). Tommy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wizard: Don't mess with a magicinary man! Rocky: You ripped that off from Annie Lennox. Wizard: So I did! Now, I don't wanna help you. Kimberly: Why not? Wizard: Because, I was just bombarded with several requests: Ed MacMahon doesn't wants me to get that laughing gas outta him; George Burns wants immortality; Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen wanna see the light of Hollywood again; Chicken Boo wants to be a man; Don Knotts wants to be a man; and then there's that troop of creepy guys and gals from that movie "The Wizard of Oz." Rocky: But you ARE the Wizard of Oz. Wizard: Ain't that something. Kimberly: The big bad wolf just blew down me and Rocky's houses, but Tommy has no bricks. If he doesn't get any bricks, this story will never end! Wizard: So what do you want ME to do about it? I come from an entirely different story. Rocky: Well, some moron disrupted our story, and apparently this shyster we've got tagging along with us is apparently of no use--so you're the only wise one who doesn't work for money. Wizard: Who said I didn't? I charged an arm and a leg from those idiotic characters. Tommy: Well this is going no where! Wizard: You want bricks? Here they are! Suddenly, a window high up in the castle above the door opens up and several bricks come roaring out of the window like a waterfall onto Tommy. Tommy (getting hit by each brick): Oww, augh!! Oh, man!! Ehk! Oww! Agh!! Oooch! Oh, for the lova... oww!! Mother of mercy!! Oh awgh!! Good Lord...ACK!! Sweet Jesus... Finally, Tommy is burried until a pile of bricks. Kimberly: Tommy? Hello?......Tommy, are you okay? Tommy's lone arm penitrates the pile of bricks. Tommy: I think I'm paralyzed! Rocky: Get up! Tommy: Thanks a lot, Wizzy! Wizard: No problem! Now get out! In 5 minutes, I shall release my attack dogs. All: AHHH!!! The foursome run for their lives. SCENE X: Lord Bread: WHAT!?!?!?! He GOT his bricks, Rita. Could you please explain that? Rita: It's called--contracts. We are legally contracted to not win once in this entire series. Lord Bread: Figures your plan would be the equivillant to excremant. What do we do now!?!? I know!! Get Goldar, yeah, he'll get the bricks... Rita: No! Why don't we just let them use the bricks! Lord Bread: And then what? Rita: Then that's the plan. Lord Bread: What kinda stupid plan is that?!? Rita: Hey, don't spit your enchanted spit on me. Spray it on the lazy writers. Goldar: Unfortunately, you can't. We are simply 8-bit ASCII characters on a flat computer screen. Concluding that we can't make any human contact other than inducing laughter into our viewers--conclusively, our only purpose. Lord Bread: Well, at least I can lose with dignity if I release my own monster sometime during this dreaded episode! SCENE XI: Back in the storybook... Tommy opens the door inside of his two-story, three-bedroom, one and a half bathroom townhouse. Pretty awesome, eh? Tommy: There, finished. C'mon, guys. Come live with me. Town Pedeller: Everyone's happy. Well, fellas; I gotta go. Gotta get really rested up for the big sale tomorrow! Rocky (quietly): Not if the police I called up can help it. Kimberly: Let's go inside! Gee, I never knew you were such a good carpenter. Rocky: He installed much more than a lousy carpet. Tommy: Uhh... Nevermind. 5 minutes later... The wolf subsequently shrinks down to his 6 foot tall height and approaches Tommy's house and bams on the door. Tommy (annoyed and sitting on the couch): What do you want? Wolf: You know damn well what I want, maggot! Now open this damn door or I'm gonna beat it down! Tommy: Not on the hair on my booty butt-butt. Wolf: You best better open this door if you know what's good for ya! Kimberly: You can't do that until you've blown it down. Wolf: I'm gonna huff, and I'm gonna puff, and I'm gonna blow your house down! Tommy: Kim, fortunately for us; the writers wrote that wolf to be the stupidest cuss you'd ever meet. He'll be tryin' to blow that door down for hours. Kimberly: Cool! Now we won't have to resort to obvious violence on a children's show. Rocky drags out a kettle of boiling water. Rocky: You mean I dragged this kettle out for nothing?!? Tommy: 'Fraid so. Wolf: For the last time! I'm gonna blow this stinkin' door down! Kimberly: You don't have tha guts. The wolf tries to blow the door down. Wolf: This is your last chance! 3 hours later... Wolf: I mean it this time! This is the very LAST time I am going to blow this door down! I'm gonna huff... and puff, and BLOOOOWWW your house down! The Wolf tries to blow the door and house down for the 300th time and suffers asthma. Wolf: [Gasping] HELP!! I'M CHOKING!! [Gasping] 9-1-1!! [Gasping] I'M HYPERVENTALATING! The wolf passes out and dies and the rangers open the door. Tommy: Alright! Yes!! The story is over! Rocky: May not have ended the way we wanted to, but it was nonetheless an ending. Wolf (dramatic music behind him): DID you think it was over that easily? All three: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wolf: Oh darn, my ticker only had 15 seconds left. Oh well, you got away this time, but you won't be so lucky when I'm found in Little Red Riding Hood! Rocky: Now let's get outta here! SCENE XI: In the command center... Billy: I guess that's it, I'm a failure. Adam: Yeah. Billy: Gee, look at Mr. Comforter. Adam: Hey, you're a total loser. How am I supposed to say you're smart anymore? Just last week you were perfectly content with having an overall C minus average last week. Billy: Hey, the test was hard, and it conflicted with my date. Aisha: Oh my lord! The three rangers suddenly appear in the command center. Rocky: Oh yes!! Rocky is found kissing the command center floor. Rocky: I never thought I'd enjoy reality SO MUCH! Tommy: Hey man, show some self-respect! Kimberly: Hiya. Billy: OH! Kimberly! Take me now!! Kimberly: Sorry, pal. I just went threw the most painful, most traumatic experience in my whole life! Don't make me endure another traumatic experience by looking at your 3 inch weiner. Billy: Would it make you feel better if I climbed under a rock and died? Tommy: Yeah, that would be acceptable. Billy: I didn't ask you, I asked her. Kimberly: Ditto. The Alarm sounds off. Alpha: Ya know, I'm starting to become accustomed to that horribly loud noise. Rocky: What's with Zordon? Billy: He took a snooze because he proved to be of no substantial use in this episode's calamities. Therefore, Alpha will be guiding us. Alpha: Why don't you try something new? Like using your brains! Kimberly: You know we never tried that since Green With Vomit. Tommy: Hey, do NOT mention that horrid display of character assassination in my presence again! Kimberly: "Green With Vomit," "Green With Vomit," NYEAH, NYEAH, NYEAH, NYEAH, NYEAH! Tommy: That's it! You want some'a this!? Billy: HEY! No hittin' dames on this show! Alpha: Would we get back to the crucial parts of this show? Adam: Yeah, sure. Alpha: Watch. ============= Lord Bread: Time to make my miscellaneous monster! Lord Bread uses his X-stick to create "Miscellanous Monster." ============= Billy: Miscellaneous monster? What? Do they be servin' booze in that writer's department? Adam: Nah, they're brains are just draining out of their brains like pork fat. Alpha: Well, we've got a really nasty M.F. out there ready to trash the city. And you're the deemed heroes, therefore, yous gotta morph and destroy him. Rocky: Why is he already big? Alpha: Beats me. Tommy: Oh geez! It's MORPHIN' time! Tommy: CiderZord Adam: Majormess Kimberly: Pterodorky Billy: Tribladdertops Aisha: Sabertoothed-Alley Cat Rocky: Trashosaurus Adam: Majormess-Cowardly Lion BlunderZord Power! Kimberly: Pterydorky-TiredBird BlunderZord power! Billy: Tribladdertops-Acorn BlunderZord power! Aisha: Sabertoothed-Alley Cat-Lipton Tea BlunderZord Power! Rocky: Trashosaurus Red-Dragon Liver BlunderZord Power! Tommy: White CiderZord Power! The zords crash together to for the MegaCiderBlunderHeapaJunkaMegaZord. Miscellaneous Monster: I'm a real mean lookin' S.O.B.!! Rocky: You got the S.O.B. part right. Let's GET him! They forcefully try to attack Misc. Monster and are shoved back and the zord falls onto its back. Adam: Ya know, if we ever wanna get anywhere, we're gonna have to get a new approach. Aisha: How about we use Adam's old smelly sweatsocks? He'll be out in no time! Rocky: It just might work. But where are we gonna get those 5 miles away from Adam's home? Misc. Monster takes a swipe at BlunderHeapaJunkaMegaZord's chest and has the zord crash into several buildings and the zord begins smoking. Billy: This is not working. And I think we're AGAIN finding out why these are called "BlunderZords." Rocky: Oh no! We gotta do some'n! Aisha: Well, this was enough action for one episode... Adam: WHAT action!?!? We spend most of the first 16 minutes of this show goofing off. Billy: You call getting baked to a crisp by unexpected special effects and dynamite caps goofing off!?!? Aisha: Yeah, we nearly died in that fight with Jerky Turkey. Kimberly: Who was he? Rocky: Oh nevermind!! Let's just get the BlunderSword! The zord grabs its sword and offs Misc. Monster. All Rangers: AWWRIGHT!! YEAH!! Tommy: Casaba; please explain to me, what in the hell did _I_ do?!? Casaba: Nothing. We're on the wrong street. Tommy: D'oh!! SCENE XII: At Angel Grave School... Only the six rangers are taking down the banners and decorations advertising Miss Appleweed's book festival. Adam: Wow, this was a lot of fun. Kimberly: Fun?! FUN?!? You call being trapped in a book wearing hardly anything and nearly dying fun!?!? Adam: Yeah. What was so fun about this? Billy: Beats me. Seems like just a ploy to make the school make more money. But from my last calculations (yes, I can make calculations), this book sale garnered: three dollars and twenty-five cents. Aisha: Man, this was such a waste. Billy: That's because there was not a single book here that had any value. Adam: You're right. Kimberly: I'm just glad to be outta that book. Uh oh, here comes Bulk and Skull--let's be mean to them! Bulk: I feel like crud! Skull: I think my arm is broken. Kimberly: Hey--wanna read this book? Skull: I TOLD YOU!! Books are no good! Don't you see why?!?! Kimbrly: I promise, this book is harmless. Bulk and Skull open it to see the animated pages of The Three Little Pigs. Town Pedeller: HEY! You're messing up my candy sale!! Bulk: Dahhh!! Ahhhh!!! Bulk and Skull's faces fill with vomit and they faint, causing them to throw the book and it hits Billy's head. Billy: Aaach!! Billy falls to the floor. Billy: Ya know, one of you idiots could have at least caught my fall! Billy throws the book into the air and Tommy races to catch it. Tommy (breathing hard): YOU IDIOTIC NERD!! Don't you EVER do that!! I nearly paid $200 for that book! Billy: You did? Wahahahahahaa!! Boy did you get ripped off. Tommy: Well DUH. Adam: Well, anyway; did we learn ANYTHING from this stupid book festival? Tommy: Yeah--that the bake festival is a whole helluva lot better than this. Miss Appleweed: Well, I hope you idiots are happy! I had to nearly put on a circus and buy new furniture for Jake Thompson to keep my job!! Detention for Bulk and Skull!! Hmmp! Tommy: I wonder how long we're gonna let this go on? Kimberly: As long as it takes to cover our butts. Afterall, it's either them or us. Billy: Oh yeah, that really puts off the noble image we're supposed to be expressing. Kimberly: Hey, whoever said anything about being noble? This IS a parody. Billy: Of course. Well, this story is getting too long. Why don't we call it a night? Tommy: Okay. Good night, everybody! Rocky: Spoil your dinner! THE END (C) 1995 Artist Bros. Enterprises