Artist Bros. Enterprises Presents: Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers "Wild Guess Rangers, Part II" Parody of, "Wild West Rangers, Part II" LAST TIME ON PATHETIC RANGERS... A time vacuum of Lord Bread's vomited Kimberly back in time to the 1800s, which is lost on Kimberly until she notices the establishing date on the old-day Junk Food Bar! Kimberly: You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that you guys don't like me much. Adam: Not really, but since things have been gettin' mighty boring around here, you kinda livened up our day. Kimberly: What are you TALKING about!?! You come from an ENTIRELY different time! You are all figments of an evil spell's imaginations! William: She's snappy too. Kimberly: I'm sorry. I just don't know how much longer I can contain my sanity! ...Lord Bread sent the a nauseatingly self-conscious monster created out of a cactus plant Tommy was giving Kimberly as a gift. PinHead (Bobcat Goldthwait voice): But I've got feelings. It's always do this, and do that. I wish you wouldn't treat me with disrespect. It's rude and I'm appreciate it if I were treated with some kind of dignity. When am I going to have my own self-esteem back? Huh!? My life is worthless! And it's all your fault. You're just a loser! Lord Bread: Oh no!! Not a self-conscious, whiney, low self-esteemed nitwit! Listen, you; you have only one purpose, and that is to help me! Got it!?!? Can the rangers save Kimberly? Will Tommy and Billy crack up from not seeing her hot form for a whole day? Why is Alpha V called Alpha FIVE? Will the Lone Ranger be revived as a new series on UPN? Has Billy's brain shrunk by 13 ounces? Find out on the conclusion of "Wild Guess Rangers," NEXT! SCENE I: As we rejoin our story, Kimberly is still stuck in the old 1880s version of Angel Grave with her friend's ancestors (who are the remarkably twins with exact faces that match the teeange, present-day rangers) facing Goldar, PinHead and the Muddies. Goldar is going around with PinHead randomly scaring all of the citizens while the Muddies are riding on horses with Cowboy outfits on shooting off guns. William: Well shut my mouth and stuff my face with chidlens, them thar are monsters! Aisha: They mighty scar'y. Kimberly: Well? What are you gonna do about it?? Abraham: US!?!? You come moseying into our town, we don't even know you, with your short skirt which you SAY is not for your turnout, and you ask US what WE are gonna do about this!?! William: Oh no!! The muddies!! I mean, uh, monsters! They're headed this way! Kimberly: You know, you could at least show signs of acting training. William: Sorry. The Muddies head for the old-day "rangers." The rangers are attacked by the muddies. Kimberly: Um, guys? Rockwell: Yeah? Kimberly: RUN! William (still hanging onto Kimberly): But miss Kimmy, are you gunna be o.k? I mean, I never did get to tell ya this because you acted so weird but I think I lov... Kimberly: There's no time for that right now. A barrel is thrown after them. Kimberly: GO! William: Whatever you say! Rockwell, Abraham and Aisha begin running from the Muddies. Finally, when cornered, they suddenly begin to kick, fight and everything else like that (while looking as if they're trying to avoid kicking the muddies). William, however--as always--acts completely helpless. William runs from a Muddy as fast as he can until the muddy grabs him and he bounces William back in forth between himself and a muddy. Kimberly: You suck. William: I what? Kimberly: Suck! Stink! William: Oh, sorry. I could've sworn I took a shower. Kimberly: Oh gawd! Thank god I don't have to stay here forever! AB Writers: That's what you think. Kimberly: Yeah right, you have no choice. If I stay here forever, it'll seriously disrupt future plotlines that you probably have no idea are. 'kay? AB Writers: Alright. You've got a keen sense of prognosis. Kimberly: See ya. Goldar: Excuse me! But, I thought I was dislodging your brains! Kimberly: It won't work, you stupid bafoon! Goldar: Ooooh, big stuff Kimberly wants to pick a fight! Well, fine! Take me on, you little twerp! Kimberly: I sure hope this works! It's MORPHIN' time! Kimberly: Pterodorky Goldar: Ha-ha-...How did you do that!?!? Kimberly: I just did. Now shut up and take me on! Guys, this shouldn't take long, he is afterall just a wigged-out, all-talk, phoney JERK. Goldar: You must think I'm some kind of clumsy oaf! Kimberly: Exactly. Goldar: Well I, ma'am, am appalled! I spit on you! Rockwell: Would you get on with thi's? Kimberly: Just as soon as we're done insulting each other. Ya know, kinda building up the mood. William: Well, it's startin' to get sickening. Kimberly: Oh shut up! You couldn't carve a turkey, turkey! Goldar: Well, guess what, yer gonna need more padding when I gie you a radical massectomy! Kimberly: Oh that's it! You are gonna die! Are you ready take me on!? Goldar: With pleasure, you tramp! Abraham: She IS a prostitute! He just called that missy a tramp! Kimberly: Oh don't listen to him, he's just an idiot! William: Well, we are afterall gullable, thoughtless followers who don't know how to do anything but drink brandy 'til we puke. Muddies somersault over a laughing Goldar begin to attack Pink Ranger. She lands out in the middle of them. Kimberly: Oh, this is going to be a part. With each angle, Kimberly kicks out each Muddie on each side. Rockwell: Man, she tears up! Kimberly rumbles with Goldar, pulls him over her back and throws him to the ground and steps on his belly. Goldar: Ouuch!! Help me!! Rockwell: Uh uh!! Goldar: You better help me or I'll kick your cowpoke cans! The "rangers" fearfully help out Goldar. Kimberly: Huh!?! Guys!? What do you think your doing!? William: Uhh, sorry! Kimberly starts clearing out muddies. Goldar: This isn't over, Pink Dink Ranger! Kimberly: Take your goons and your cactus with you and get out! PinHead (Bobcat Goldthwait voice): You're just a bunch of losers! Next time we show up, we'll ambush you! And it won't be as pretty as it was before! Yeah, blood spilt all over the ground. You'll look real messy when we get finished with you, just remember that while you're sleepin'! William: Then we better get outta he'ar. Kimberly: Are you four just a bunch of weak whimps!!? Aisha: Yeah. But I'm just a whore. Kimberly: Got that right. What was that!? William: What was what? Kimberly: I saw that, you don't EVER help Goldar out! You understand that, you brainless hicks? Rockwell: Sorry! Kimberly: You are all made of cookie dough. Well, I got a little something to do. Abraham: Yyyy, yer not gonna just leave us here, here missy? Kimberly: Stop calling me missy! My name is Kimberly! And no, I'll by right back. That goes for you, too. So, stay tuned. More "Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers" after this! SCENE II: We establish a long shot on what looks like The Command Center except with a barn attached to the sides. Zordon: Alpha Four, do you have the feeling an intruder is intruding? Alpha: Not yet. Actually, it's just our cow. Cow (unseen): Mmmmmoooooo... Zordon: Dear lord, did you bring any other animals? Ostrich (unseen): [Loud yell] Zordon: Jumping jupiter! What was that!? Alpha: My new ostrich, Oscar! Zordon: Why did I buy the farm? Alpha: Because you wouldn't give Rita back her wig. Zordon: No!!! You listen to me, you pathetic junk heap of a robot, you don't EVER tell the readers how I died! It is so humiliating! Alpha: You are such a pushover. You are a big puppet. Zordon: How dare you? Alpha: My point exactly. You bought the farm because you read a book that said that you get peaceful tranquility when you have a garden and farm. I don't know WHY you would need it. You're just a giant, floating head. Zordon: I did it because I got a migrain from last week's Aye Yi Yi. Alpha: Aye yi yi! Zordon: Please do not do that again. Alpha: Yes, sir. Kimberly, morphed, teleports into the command center. Alpha: Hey, it's a Ranger. I think. I mean, we have all the Morphing Coins, don't we, Zordon? Zordon: Well, I don't know anymore. I mean, first about 11,000 years ago on Melmac, Rita, somehow, busted in here and stole my Green Ranger Coin (when I was only the security guard) and now this. Alpha: But she doesn't look like a Pathetic Ranger; we designed our costumes to be trendy with the current Ranger style. Kimberly: Hey, guys? Zordon: How do you know it's a guy? Alpha: Good point. Kimberly: Hey! Would you please not talk to me in the third person. Zordon: You may speak, annoying humanoid. Kimberly: Sorry, sorry. I know I'm kinda psychin' ya out and all because I've been invading places I was never born in. But I gotta talk to you. Zordon: Are you sure you have the right apartment? Kimberly: Isn't this Command Center room #2309? Zordon: Yes. Kimberly: Cool. Now, um, my name is Kimberly Kimby and everything, and uh, you made me like a Pathetic Ranger and like, I'm savin' the world and some junk, so uhh I need some power coins to give my old wild west friends. See, some creepy monster... Zordon: Who are you? Alpha: She appears to be a Pathetic Ranger from the future. Because, we've designed our pathetic rangers with shinkles, neck scarfs and every other stereotype expected out of a cowboy. Kimberly: Listen, y'all, I don't have any time for small talk and some stuff, see, there's this big, creepy, ugly monster, and he like vacuumed back in time and some junk, and my friends' great grand whatevers are being attacked by this big cactus monster. So like, I need some power coins, just that simple. Alpha: Here you go. Zordon: Alpha! This could be a burglar! Alpha: Wearing a Pathetic Ranger costume? Teleporting? I seriously doubt that. Here you go, Kim. Kimberly: Thanks. Nice do, Zordon. Zordon: Thanks. Alpha: He'll lose that in about 200 years. Kimberly: Yeah, I know. Kimberly teleports away. Alpha: Uh oh. Zordon: What now, Alpha 4? Alpha: I forgot to tell her to bring back the Pink Power coin. Zordon: YOU IDIOT! If she morphs for too long the supersuit will implode! Thank god it only has to happen once for the first coin to lose power. Alpha: Yeah, but what's gunna happen with 1994 roles around again? We won't have a coin to supposidly give to Pink Ranger. Zordon: I've gotta build me another automaton. SCENE III: Goldar shows up in Lord Bread's headquarters. Lord Bread: What!?!? You come back with your ugly ass face to tell me you let her get AWAY!?!? Goldar: Nonono! It's not like that! See, I'm giving her a false sense of security and... Lord Bread: I don't want to HEAR about your "FALSE sense of security!" All I want to hear is, Kimberly's dismembered head is floating in the lake!! Now, you don't come back here until you bring me back her helmet with her head still in it! Goldar: YYYess sir! Lord Bread: Now get out! Rita: Now what do we do, my love? Lord Bread: Re-use stock footage. Oh, sure, so you'll say a line you said in Best Man for A Snob, but it's less expensive and annoying for me to not keep getting into new scenes wearing this ridiculous costume! Rita: All right. We cut to a picture that was used in "Best Man For A Snob" of Lord Bread and Rita side to side at the balcony. Rita: Nothing shall stanxd in the way between me and victory!! Uhhh, I mean, er uhh, us and victory. Lord Bread: That's what I thought you said! Hahahahah! Rita starts tickling Lord Bread's tummy. Lord Bread: Aww come on! You know that's raw flesh!! HEhehehe, I tickle so easily! SCENE IV: In the present-day command center... Tommy: Well, useless "nerd," have you figured out ANYTHING? Billy: Yeah, that we don't have a single part in our present-day roles. Aisha: Well that's kinda messed up. Zordon: Well, this is even worse: observe the viewing globe. The rangers look in the viewing globe to see the 1800s versions of themselves. Rocky: We've got twins!?!? Alpha: No, you dummy! That is 1880, those are your ancestors. Billy: Very convenient that they look like our exact doubles. Zordon: Billy, your great grandfather was a whimpy drunk, who died a virgin; Aisha, your great-grandmother was a prostitute, who totalled a 366-men turnout; Adam, your great-great-grandfather was gay, but didn't tell anybody because it would result in various punishments and Rocky, your great-grandfather was a horse-eater, he had a serious alcohol problem for 15 years and he was Adam's great-great-grandfather's secret lover. Rocky and Adam, whom were standing together begin to gradually move apart while looking at each other very strangely. Rocky and Adam, whom were standing together begin to gradually move apart. Tommy: Hehehehehehehehehehe, I can just see it now. Adam: You wont be satifised until I permanently distort your pretty-face, eh? Tommy: What are you going to do, rear-end me? Rocky: That's not funny, man. Tommy: Your lover speaks. Adam: Well, who about YOUR great-great-grandfather?? Zordon: The Lone Ranger. Tommy: What!? I thought that was Clayton Moore! Zordon: Yeah, he was, but you were his substitute. Billy: Not surprising, The Lone Ranger had 7 different actors play him. Tommy: Wow! I've got a lot to be proud of! Zordon: But he wore silk panties. Tommy: Dee-hee! Adam: This is very crushing to hear! Alpha: Well, we've got worse problems than your freak-o ancestra: Goldar and his goonies have invaded the 1800s and are attacking your ancestors. Billy: I would let my freak ancestors just die out, but it would seriously damage the course of time. Alpha: As if that hasn't already occured. Rocky: We can't do anything, this is Kim's big moment. Tommy: Good grief. SCENE V: Kimberly returns to the 1880s town unmorphed and begins walking with her friends' ancestors them in a deserted part of of the undeveloped region. William: That was exhiliratin'! Abraham: And quite threatenin'. Aisha: I'll say, I don't ever wanna do that aga'yin! Kimberly: I'm kinda sorry to hear that. Rockwell: How are we gunna run those banditos outta town? Kimberly: Well, I kinda have something for you guys that I really shouldn't be showing you. William: What I saw back in town was so scary, I had to change m'pants--at this point I'd be willing to strut naked through main street. Kimberly: At THIS point, I'd be willing to make you do that too, but that wont do anything but give me a few laughs. No really, you guys--I've got something for you to see. Kimberly takes out this black chest and slowly opens it up (like gangster's do with huge brief cases of money) and reveals the doubtful, stupid "rangers" six slots occupied by four golden coins with the Majormess, Trashosaurus, Tribladdertops and Sabertoothed-Alley Cat. Aisha (shocked): Counterfit money? William: Drugs? Kimberly: NO! This isn't money! Lemme put it to you like this; have you ever wanted to be famous? SCENE VI: Meanwhlie; Tommy, Rocky, Adam, Billy and Aisha are hanging around in the Command Center attempting to come up with a solution to retrieve Kimberly with Alpha helping Billy out by the computer console with Zordon sighing at everything. Alpha: Aye yi, yi yi, yi yi, yi! Tommy: Is that all you have to say as your first line of the scene? Alpha: I'm worried, okay? Tommy: Well I am too. Afterall, I could potentially never have the best sex in my life again if this doesn't work. Billy: Alpha. [Dramatically]: It looks like we have NO CHOICE. We MUST bring out THEE Program. Alpha, ready the ultra-mega-super-electronic- protonic-neutronic-scanning-machine. Alpha: Yes, sir. "Batman Returns" theme music is heared playing as Alpha is slowly pushing a series of numbers then a BIG red button that starts a loud, low hum throughout the command center as a huge machine is heard moving around on-top the command center. Alpha: It's ready. Billy: Begin a full-spection and four-thousand level scan. Alpha: Initiating scan... The music gets louder as everyone patiently waits for the results. Aisha: Well? Alpha: Nothing. Billy: Damnit! Alpha: Well, what do you want from me? Billy: This is it. It's over. She's...hey wait a second--something just came up on the twenty-four hundreth frequency. We can bring her back if we use a molecular partical transmittion emitor. Adam: Do we have one? Alpha: No. Billy: Perfect. Well, hopfully my de-nerdification hasn't completely erased on my brain-cells of intellectual rhetoric. Tommy: Well get to work on it fast enough and I'll agree to a three-some. Billy: You got it! SCENE VII: The one-horse town... Kimberly: Well? Are you goons going to get busy or what? William: I don't know. I had absolutely no training in self-defense. When I punch, I miss. Kimberly: You don't have to worry. My boss told me that you could be a zit-faced schnook and you could defend yourself anyway because the power itself contains wisdom and all that good stuff. You have nothing to worry about--other than getting your butts turned into dishrags, but nevermind that. Adam: Hey, miss Kimmy, we scare might'y eas'ly. Kimberly: Alright, that's it. I'm through being nice, I'm going to zap you into a million bloody pieces if you DON'T do what I say! Rockwell: Yyyes ma'am! Abraham: Well? Now that you threatened us into doing whatever you're command us to, what do we do now? Kimberly: I think Goldar could be hanging around anywhere. William: Oh, how I hate ambushes! Kimberly: Let's stick together, and we'll morph as soon as we see the lily-livered mutants. Aisha: Well, all right. SCENE VIII: In the command center... Zordon: Odd, here we are again. Billy: It seems it's gonna take forever for our heroes to morph. Rocky: Which ones? Aisha: Our ancestors! Alpha: It appears that Kimberly has to convince your wild-bill hick great grannies to do her bidding. It's gonna be hard, though--especially since spandex hasn't been CREATED yet. Billy: Yet another infamous plothole that trademarks this as an episode of "Mighty Weenie Pathetic Rangers." Adam: Ya know, Billy; you are the most pessimitic downer I've ever met. Billy: Well, it doesn't seem like anything good is gonna come out of us waiting forever for our ancestors to get their butts in gear. Alpha: Have you found the molecular partical transmittion emitor? Billy: The what? Tommy slaps Billy's face. Billy: Oww! What was that for? Tommy: Your brains stopped working for a minute there. Billy: Oh yeah, now everything's coming back to me. Zordon: Nevermind, I'll make it myself using my own brain power. Alpha: We're gonna need a lot more than peanut power. Zordon: Hey, you better watch your mouth, you crappy canbot. Billy: How can you beat me? The compulsive brainiac? Tommy: Because you have to "shake well" to make the brainiac work. You need serious script adjustment. Adam: Or a new wardrobe director. Billy: GUESS WHAT!?! Tommy (anxiously): What!? Billy: I've found Kimberly! She's at a wild-west town and... Rocky: We already KNOW that part, stupid. Geez, tell us something we don't know. Billy: Oh geez, this episode is going to thoroughly thrash my reputation. SCENE IX: At the 1880s wild-west... Kimberly is up in front of the four old-time rangers and they all walk in unison. Abraham: Well, it looks like he's a no-show. Nobody home, I guess we better leave and... Kimberly: Hold it, you coward! Goldar jumps Kimberly. Goldar: Ha ha! Victory is mine! Kimberly: I don't think so. Kimberly elbows Goldar's bread-basket twice and he folds his arms around his belly in agony. Goldar: Oww! You'll pay for that, you prostitute! Aisha: I'm convinced--you are a prostitute. I like your style. Kimberly: Why me? Goldar: Why not? Goldar smacks Kimberly. Kimberly: HEY! No smacking dames on this series! You've messed up now. You done crossed the line. You're gonna get the punishment of a lifetime! Goldar: Yeah; you and what army? Kimberly: This army! Kimberly snaps her fingers, expecting the old-day rangers to run by her side but they don't come by her side. Kimberly: Ah hem. THIS army. Kimberly snaps her fingers. Kimberly: HEY! GET OUT HERE! William: Uhhh, okay. Goldar: You can bring out your cowardly goons, it isn't going to work. Because after my PinHead pal gets through hugging this useless one-horse town, you're going to be trapped forever! Hahahaha!! Pretty cool how I delivered that spoiler, huh? Kimberly: Oh no! It's PinHead! PinHead: Yeah. You are going to answer to me, you losers! Kimberly: Now! Abraham: Are you sure? Kimberly: Yes! It's time! Without the footage, the rangers just automatacally morph into the Pathetic Ranger costume designs of the 1880's. They nontheless are wearing (instead of ponchos which conform to the style back then) SPANDEX suits, with neck-scarfs around their necks; shinkles on their gloves and the sides of their pantslegs; six-shooter style BladeBlasters and tiny little wheels on the heals of their boots. Kimberly: It's showdown time. Feelin' lucky, sucker? Goldar: ATTACK!! Every Pathetic Ranger (including the recent one, Pink) are fighting the Muddies and PinHead. Goldar: Hey "loser," stop fighting like some sweet chic and finish them! PinHead: Whatever you say, you slavemaster. Kimberly: It's over now! William: I've never been known to punch a soul, but I will however defend myself. "Blue" Ranger kicks a muddy, as do Rockwell, Abraham and Aisha. PinHead: That's it! White Lone Ranger rides into the scene. Six-Bullet Thomas: Get outta here! Goldar: What!? Six-Bullet Thomas: I said get outta here, or I shoot! PinHead: No, or I shoot! Hahaha! Pinhead shoots one of its thorns at Tommy and he's stabbed in the chest and falls off of his horse. Kimberly: Tommy! Are you alright? Six-Bullet Thomas: I think I'm dying! Dying! With all the world's most painful consquences, I shall suffer the ultimate fury! Nothing can spare me now, time to pay the piper! Love cannot save me from the horrible... Kimberly: Oh just die already! Six-Bullet Thomas: Can't! It would officially rate this R-rated. Kimberly: Oh yeah right, that's a rating we're trying to avoid. PinHead: I'm getting out of here! PinHead fizzes away. Goldar: Get back here! SCENE X: The command center... Zordon: PinHead has vacuumed back into our time. You can morph now. Tommy: It's Morphin' time! Tommy: CiderZord Adam: Majormess Billy: Tribladdertops Aisha: Sabertoothed-Alley Cat Rocky: Trashosaurus =============== Lord Bread: Grow, PinHead! Grow! Rita: Aren't we kinda hurrying this along? The rangers just morphed! Aren't we going to have another "thrilling" muddy fight? Lord Bread: That's why your so stupid--you don't know the meaning of the second season. Ah hem, as I was saying, GROW! Lord Bread throws down a banana peeling to make PinHead grow. ============== Rocky: We need BlunderZord power now! The BlunderZords crash together (ironically without Kimberly calling hers). The BlunderHeapaJunkaMegaZord rumbles with PinHead until they destroy him. SCENE XI: Lord Bread kicks Goldar's butt in his headquarters. Goldar: Ouuch! Lord Bread: You are your monster are just a pair of LOSERS! Goldar: Oh don't you start with that again! Lord Bread: You don't tell me what I can or can't do! Especially since you failed MISERABLY at doing my dirty work! You are a big weenie! All-talk! Goldar: Hey, ya know I don't have to take this. Afterall, I tried my best to spit, scratch, be obnoxious and whip some hiney--but since this entire show is fixed, no matter how grusome your immaculate plans are, we are SUPPOSED to lose. Deal with it. Get used to it! Besides, we have a five percent chance of winning because Kimberly is still in that time-vacuum. Lord Bread: Yes! That's true! Rita! Are you playing bingo again!? Rita: Yeah, what of it? Lord Bread: Nothing, nothing. SCENE XII: Kimberly gets out of her Pink Ranger costume and folds it up. William: That was mighty fun! Wait a minute! Do you remember scene 2? Kimberly: What about it? William: That suit is going to implode! Run! Run for your life! Throw it away! Kimberly quickly throws her Pink Ranger suit away and loud, giant explosion is heard. Kimberly: Good lord! Now what am I gonna do? AB Writers: Don't worry, we've got about 15 of those suits for such an emergency. Kimberly: I've really enjoyed my stay with you guys. Aisha: That wasn't my first impression. Kimberly: Oh okay. So when I look back on this, I'll get a good laugh--but only because in about 2 minutes, I'm gonna be rescued. William: That's too bad, you were really fun to stare at. SCENE XIII: Billy stands before Tommy, Rocky, Aisha and Adam (who are all sitting on chairs in the command center dressed in black) as if he's at a funeral with the machine that Zordon co-built. Billy: Well, this is it. The emitter. If this keen looking invention doesn't save Kimberly--well [shedding a tear], we could lose Kimberly (cracking voice) forever... Aisha: (Crying) Oh, it's so sad!! Ah!! Aisha blows her nose. Tommy: Well, before you do it, I think we all should take a minute to remember Kimberly as a true friend. Tommy closes his eyes and remembers several episodes ago of when Kimberly acted easy. Tommy: Oh yeah. Billy: Kimberly was a good friend. She had absolutely no brain power, no wits; no nothing but soft hooters that everyone loved to squeeze--even yours truly. She wasn't a rich girl, even though she spends $300 a day shopping at JCPenney, she wasn't a wise girl... ========== Kimberly is crossing her arms in the wild-west... Kimberly: When are those IDIOTS going to rescue me? ========== Billy: ...oh sure, the sex was good, but she was more than that. She was a good friend. That is my eulogy. Aisha: (Crying) This just tears me apart! Alpha: Oh please! Would you get it over with!? We all know this show will be significantly wounded if Kimberly isn't rescued. What are you cry- babies complaining about? Billy: Aside from "Full House," we have the most predictable outcomes on our episodes. It seems no one can really be worried--other than Lord Bread. Well, here goes nothing. Billy uses the machine and that rainbow time-vacuum spits Kimberly out again. Tommy: Kimberly! You're okay! Oh, can I squeeze your bosom for old times sake!? Kimberly: Sure, why not? Billy: I'm so glad you're okay! Kimberly: I wonder what lies for those nitwits out in the wild west? SCENE XIV: William: I wonder if we'll ever see that weird missy again? Abraham: Probably not. These good things only happen once in a sci-fi show. William: Well, cheers to the Pathetic Rangers, who will be our children's children. Aisha: That would suggest that none of us are virgins--other than Abraham, who probably was forced to sleep with the mother of his kid. Abraham: Hey shut up! William: Well, it doesn't matter--it only would if these parodies were for toddlers. Well, cheers to her. They all guzzle down Root Beer Floats and put on floam mustaches. Suddenly, a horse-carriage pulls up with this woman with curly locks in her hair, looks exactly like Kimberly, has a dark mole on her cheek, has a sensuous smile and wears black-laced stockings, a purple dress and anything else that 1800s prostitutes wear. William removes his hat and holds it to his chest. William: She's a fine lookin' missy! Bimberly: Hi there, sugar boys. Rockwell: Hhhhii, thhhere... What's your name? Bimberly: My name is Bimberly. William: Are you a prostitute? Bimberly: Uh huh, and I'm available 19 hours a day. You cute suga's wanna fool around in the barn? William: See ya! I'll be gone, and I'm not coming back for ten minutes! THE END (C) 1995 Artist Bros. Enterprises